gobbledonk Posted January 6, 2004 Report Share Posted January 6, 2004 Hi HT, We face similar problems here in Oz - the girl isnt allowed to work for 12 months. At least you are able to find something meaningful for your partner to do for 3 days per week : in my neck of the woods, it would be study or Jerry Springer ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.. Posted January 6, 2004 Report Share Posted January 6, 2004 Yes. But as soon as you make the Adjustment of Status application, she can get an employment card allowing her to work. Cheers, SD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.. Posted January 6, 2004 Report Share Posted January 6, 2004 Re: hanging out with other Thais: I would be very careful with that. It can cause many more problems. Just because they are Thai does NOT mean that they will get along. Thai women are very catty, especially outside of Thailand. Plus there the the social status thing which we willnever fully understand and which they can never fully forget. Cheers, SD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 6, 2004 Report Share Posted January 6, 2004 The majority of Thai's working in Australian Thai restaraunts don't have work visa's. BUt then again I understand that a lot of these are just student's who may not plan to live in Aus permanently so they don't consider the consequences. High Thaied: It will be tough for her. Though being educated hopefully she's advanced enough to find worthwhile activities to keep her occupied. I second the idea that you should be very selective with the Thai's you introduce to her, especially if they are the partners of other farangs. Sorry to say but I believe the majority of Thai women who emigrate to their spouses country do not have a philosophy on life that I would like being preached at my wife. You're in a difficult position because I'm guessing if you have a business in Hawaii that you haven't been living with your gf for extended periods of time. If you have sisters or a mother living close by I would attempt to make them good friends with the gf. Any sort of trustworthy support structure will be beneficial. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 6, 2004 Report Share Posted January 6, 2004 >>>>If you can, take a week off and show her around, and how to use the bus system. Get her a mobile so she can call you if she gets lost.<<<< Yes....1st 2 things I had in mind doing, besides bringing her straight to a Thai restaurant to get her her som tam fix, after the long flight. I do agree with other posters concern about associations with other Thai's. But that is up to her. She is a smart girl, and can make her own detirminations. Important thing there, I think, is not to thrust her into such situations, and let her make the decision whether she wants a particular association, or not. Thai temple here is a good start. Actually, my second job will probably be part-time, so will not be too bad for her. I was talking to some Japanese ladies who are married, and live here. Their thinking is that while it used to only take 1 month after marraige to get green card, it is more like 6 months now. And is true....we have not spent a lot of time together physicly. I will spend 11 more days with her soon, 24/7, and then 3 months here, before we actually do, if all seems to be well. If we actually decide that we both want to marry, then during the 6 month interval before she can begin work here, I will probably be able to send her back to BKK for a short time to buy products for me. That will also give her something to look forward to. Really.....my biggest concern is her missing family and friends. She has many of both, all very dear to her. But she insists is not a problem for her. I guess only time can detirmine outcome, and what she will really feel, when she comes. My feeling is that 3 months here, before we marry, will be enough time for her to detirmine if she can be happy away from Thailand, or not. My hope is also that I will also be able to send her back home (on my usual schedule of every 6 months) to purchase products like I used to do, so that she will never be more than 6 months away from her family. Although I probably won't be able to go with her , I think will reduce the feeling of complete alienation from her home. Anyway.....thanks to all for your input here. I do appreciate it. HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted January 6, 2004 Report Share Posted January 6, 2004 My feeling is that 3 months here, before we marry, will be enough time for her to detirmine if she can be happy away from Thailand, or not. My hope is also that I will also be able to send her back home (on my usual schedule of every 6 months) to purchase products like I used to do, so that she will never be more than 6 months away from her family. Although I probably won't be able to go with her , I think will reduce the feeling of complete alienation from her home. HT, Time for my input here. While I do applaud the direction you are going to and all the steps you are taking, just a little warning. 3 months is not a long time, and is nothing with reality. Indeed, 3 months will be more ling a very long holiday without a strict routine of meals, work, cummuting, cleaning, etc...... Harch reality is different from the 3 months, and also remember you are still in the 'love is blind' period. As for introducing her to other Thais, beware........... make her find her own friends, just point her the way how. Good luck. Cheers ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted January 6, 2004 Report Share Posted January 6, 2004 My advice is to buy her a bicycle or scooter, give her some maps and a mobile phone and let her do her own exploring. Hawaii is beautiful and exploring alone can really open up the place to her. There is no need to let her sit in the house and wait around for you for the entire day. I am not to fond of the idea of plopping her in the middle of a bunch of Thais that you don't know. I would introduce her to trusted friends as I would anyone I care about. She should be able to make friends on her own if you can get her into a local community school or program that you don't need to constantly chaperone her to. You haven't mentioned that you asked her what her interests are. Does she have any passions of hobbies that you can easily incorporate into her routine during her stay? I would also take the time to introduce her to your friends and family, those that you care about and have influence in your life. Hate to say it but it would really suck if neither party cared for the other, so it would be wise to see how they all interact during her stay(several times beyond the courtesy visit), could avoid problems down the road. Make sure you organize visits, dinners, outings, etc with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 7, 2004 Report Share Posted January 7, 2004 Hi BB, I hear what you are are saying. But you must also know that I've known her for many, many, months. We talk all day long, every single day. Often for 5-6 hours....for 7 months now. There is little, if anything, we do not know about each other. This is not a girl I hooked up with last week. I've meet her family, and spent 1,000's of hours with her, in various forms of communication. I will live with her for another 2 weeks, and then another 3 months before making a decision. So I we will live together for a total of 4 months (24/7), and having spent every day together, for much longer than that. How much time do you need to get to know someone? My God...if I cannot know her after all of that time, then there is something wrong. My instincts are good enough to know who she is, as a person. We are exstemely close, with honesty being a very big part of our relationship. Hopefully it will be good. HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grabii Posted January 7, 2004 Report Share Posted January 7, 2004 HT, I second WYD's suggestions - hobbies and volunteer work. Worthwhile ways to spend time, meet people, and develop ideas for what kind of employment she might want to get into. Just a comment on your plan to use the 90-day stay associated with a K-1 visa to decide if you two really want to marry - that's not the purpose of the visa. The decision to marry is supposed to be made before filing the I-129f petition and is the basis for the petition. Among the supporting documents required for the petition are statements from each of you describing the relationship. It would not be a good idea to say in those statements what you have said here. Regards, JEff HIGH THAIED said:I know there have been posts about Thai girls coming to USA, and how they might react. But I'm a little worried about my situation. Possible plan is for my g/f to come here to Hawaii, on a fiance visa in the future. I will be there (Los) in less than two weeks, and we will discuss at length. Here is the problem....for her to come here and live, I will need to get a second job (I also support my daughter here). I have a store which is open 3 days a week, which she can help with, and we can be together. The rest of the time she will be alone in my house, while I am working my second job. It will be quite a while before she can work (takes a while to get a green card here). I'm very worried she will go stir-crazy sitting alone in a strange country for 4 days a week. She speaks good English, but does not drive. My house is a little remote, but does have good bus access. She insists she does not care, because only wants to be with me. I understand that, but am worried she may not understand the implications of that. I will discuss this with her at length soon. If she still insists will not be a problem, then will try for a 90 day fiance visa. We will have 90 days here to see if she can really endure. If we do, in fact marry at the end of 90 days, then will still be a number of months before she is able to work here, and get out of the house. Anyway, are there any suggestions beyond getting her involved in the local Thai temple that I can do to insure (or at least try) to ease the lonelynes that she is sure to experience? When I see her soon, I will paint a bleak and realistic picture for her, as that is all I can do. It's only the initial stage I am worried about. After she can work, and I can teach her how to drive, it will be fine. Plan is to live here for maybe 5 years, then retire to LOS, developing an import/export business from Thailand, to compliment my business here. Any thoughts on how she might best deal with my absences during her initial stay here, would be greatly appreciated. She is 24, uni-grad, very good English, and a facination with all things farang. But she is still a country girl. Lives and works in BKK, but has traveled very little, all in-country Thailand, and her biggest adventure was when I took her to Kho Samui. We have Thai restaurants here, and I know a few Thai people, who I will try to get to help intergrate her into a new culture. Actually, knowing her, I'm not really worried about that. My main concern is the 30 hours a week, I cannot be there for her, for the next 6 months after she arrives. Thanks for any insights, and advice, you can give. HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted January 7, 2004 Report Share Posted January 7, 2004 HIGH THAIED said:Hopefully it will be good. HT HT, Yes, so do I. Point was that 3 months with you at home in Hawai is TOTALLY different than 3 months or longer in LOS. This is your turf, and she will depend on you for EVERYTHING. I know, I have been there. Also 3 months will pass in holiday spirits, not reflecting real life, and here lies a big danger as well. Lots of luck. Cheers ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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