think_too_mut Posted April 8, 2004 Report Share Posted April 8, 2004 Good discussion, carry on. Remember, it's supposed to be about "Is 20K baht a month enough". TTM - mod. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuckwoww Posted April 8, 2004 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2004 <I notice that is is only those proponents of monogamy that pass these types of nonsensical judgements and definitions of love and relationships. Case in point read the P127 posts and judgemental counterposts regarding his relationship.> Good point jj. I've noticed the same thing. Monogamists always seem to be on the defensive. Maybe deep down they are just as insecure as the rest of us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soongmak Posted April 8, 2004 Report Share Posted April 8, 2004 Sometimes you guys remind me of Bible thumping evangelists, everyone is going to hell unless they follow your path. JJ, I am suffering from deja vu here. I think this comparison is way off. Nobody's condemning your behaviour, at least I am not. I don't care whether you have multiple girlfriends at the same time. I also don't care if P127 says that he simply wouldn't shell out the same amount of money for his GF's family as he would for his own. What it does show is however the limits the two of you place on love. And since you both don't adhere to the conventional definition of love, it's only natural that we want to know what makes a loving relationship in your opinion and where you draw the line (meaning, what you are willing to do for another and what not). From what I have seen, the limits are such that it doesn't qualify as love for me (not that you care, I know), because you both do what I did before I really fell for somebody. Is it wrong? No. But is it love? That's simply a matter of how you define it. If that's love for you, that's cool, but it doesn't qualify as such in my book. Cheers, soongmak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaad Posted April 8, 2004 Report Share Posted April 8, 2004 In other words you take your own personal beliefs and you impose them as a common standard. Nonsense JJ. I always state that my words are my thoughts and opinions. I never impose them as common standard to judge others, in that case I'd see your opinion or definition as 'wrong' and that's not true. As I said before, I simply didn't (and still don't) understand your reasoning so I asked for clarification by asking you a simple question. I really don't mind how you live your life, I'm not here to change or interfere with that, I'm merely interested in your thoughts and decisions for doing what you claim to do. That is not discussion nor seeking to understand my dear Zaad. That is condemnation. Well JJ, I believe the same could be said for your monogamy speech I don't see anyone criticizing you for loving only one woman. I don't see anyone saying that you are a sap to for being married, I don't see anyone saying that your concepts of love and committment are simply wrong, foolish or dysfunctional. JJ, what happened to you and your intelligent posts? You're going downhill rather quickly since discussing topics and opinions with me Come on? When have I ever criticized a person on this board? When have I ever told a member that his or her concepts of love and commitment are wrong? Please reread this thread if you think otherwise. A loving relationship is as you define it not as someone else wants to define it. JJ, for the 100th time, I'm trying to understand your mind, not change it. Would take me a lifetime! If you're not willing to reveal too much of yourself then I'll back off. Sometimes you guys remind me of Bible thumping evangelists, everyone is going to hell unless they follow your path. Have I not asked you politely to stop your "You-remind-me-of" arguments? Let's stop indirect insults, shall we. You don't need that. :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soongmak Posted April 8, 2004 Report Share Posted April 8, 2004 BTW- I did answer the question. Pose it another way and you may get an answer more to your liking. JJ, OK, I'll rephrase the question, because I am curious what your take is on this one: Are you saying that it's OK if your GF is sleeping around as long as you are oblivious to the fact, but when you know that she's been screwing Mr. A in location A then it's not cool anymore? Cheers, soongmak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted April 8, 2004 Report Share Posted April 8, 2004 Where are my 20K baht this month? Love whoever you want, the way you want, but my money is not in the mail.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted April 8, 2004 Report Share Posted April 8, 2004 soongmak said: BTW- I did answer the question. Pose it another way and you may get an answer more to your liking. JJ, OK, I'll rephrase the question, because I am curious what your take is on this one: Are you saying that it's OK if your GF is sleeping around as long as you are oblivious to the fact, but when you know that she's been screwing Mr. A in location A then it's not cool anymore? Cheers, soongmak Yes that is correct. I don't like "knowing" for a fact that my GF is sleeping with another guy. I take great pains to insure that a GF will not find out about my misdeeds and I would expect the same consideration. Call me hypocritical selfish or whatever but you want but that is the way I choose to handle my affairs. I write the rules as I go along because every instance is situational. People are going to do what they want to do. I just don't need to know every little detail. Some things don't need to be known. Truth is a double edged sword and to be quite honest brutal honesty is not always the best policy in human interactions. I don't believe that a relationship between a man and a woman is 50/50 and I don't believe that pure democracy works in a relationship. Someone has got to be the boss or the main influencer. I also don't believe that all men are created equal and that we all have the same rights and privileges. Nor do I believe that the law is fair and just and we will have world peace in our lifetimes. Basically I am a big proponent of life is not simply black and white, most of it is shades of grey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted April 8, 2004 Report Share Posted April 8, 2004 The greatest expression of love, would be your g/f needing a heart transplant, and you stepping up to be a donor. -------------------------------- Oh, good...GOOD ::! Now you gave Soongmak another idea how best to show his undying commitment to his (soon) new thai family! :grinyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted April 8, 2004 Report Share Posted April 8, 2004 Maybe deep down they are just as insecure as the rest of us. ---------------------- Bah, polygamists are just monogamists, just...more often! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted April 8, 2004 Report Share Posted April 8, 2004 What it does show is however the limits the two of you place on love. ---------------------- Totally skewed argument. let me correct you: I do not place any limits on Love, i just do not "love" my GF's family. I like them, I may help, but the sort of stuff you said about bleeding yourself for them (just because you love one person originating from that family, and how many years have you known them?), It sounds a bit out of place. I understand you are getting married, and ready to jump in anew situation, a new family, but please, don't let them know you will bleed to to death for them. Just keep it for yourself.Pleaaaaase...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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