JJsushi Posted April 7, 2004 Report Share Posted April 7, 2004 Zaad said: Personally I never ask the question because I simply don't care and the thought of infidelity does not cross my mind. My attitude is just don't let me find out and everything will be cool. Each to his own of course, but I don't have a clue what you're talking about. What you're saying is that you don't seem to care one bit about one of your GFs fucking around but if 'a little bird' tells you that she's been screwing Mr. A in location A then it's not cool anymore? Doesn't make sense. If a little bird told me I don't give a shit because it is hearsay. I don't operate on hearsay in such matters. Keep trying Zaad maybe you will eventually get me in that corner you want so I can squirm for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted April 7, 2004 Report Share Posted April 7, 2004 flyonzewall said:>>>Maybe I am a little different in that I don't prize sexual fidelity in a woman. There are so many other attributes in a relationship that I value over fidelity.<<< and maybe you have never been really in love with a woman. and maybe you have never been really in love with a woman. and please, don't ask me to define what that means, that is one of the things beyond definition, only that you know if you are. And maybe you are not in love but only fooling yourself that you are! Don't ask me to explain it only you would know if you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaad Posted April 7, 2004 Report Share Posted April 7, 2004 If a little bird told me I don't give a shit because it is hearsay. Then don't answer, whatever. Just odd IMO that you don't seem to care and when you do find out you do care. Doesn't make sense to me, but that shouldn't bother or matter to you. I'm merely trying to understand why. I don't want to change you or judge you, none of that JJ, I simply would like to know your reasoning. People come in all shapes and appearances with different opinions and personalities. I'm trying to understand you (your opinions, personality etc.) but you're not giving me much to chew on. Keep trying Zaad maybe you will eventually get me in that corner you want so I can squirm for you! JJ, what's with the mind games? I like having discussions with you. I sometimes agree, sometimes disagree. Nevertheless, I enjoy the exchange of opinions with you because most of the times you explain yourself well and you believe in what you write, I conclude that from the consistency in and of your posts. With quotes like the one above you're trying to discourage people from debating your thoughts, intended or not. Please leave such mental crap out or I'll put you in a boxing ring with me and then I WILL get you in a corner and you WILL squirm for me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 7, 2004 Report Share Posted April 7, 2004 We've gone from is 20,000.= Baht too much or not enough to what level of infidelity is acceptable. So, JJ, P127, what's your opinion on the right amount in case of LT but infrequent relationships. And what do you expect from this financial assistance. And if you don't expect anything during your absense what's your motivation for sneding money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soongmak Posted April 7, 2004 Report Share Posted April 7, 2004 Keep trying Zaad maybe you will eventually get me in that corner you want so I can squirm for you! JJ, You opt for the easy way out. Why don't you just answer his question? If you can't, seems to me you are cornered already. :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zorro Posted April 7, 2004 Report Share Posted April 7, 2004 Maybe I am a little different in that I don't prize sexual fidelity in a woman. There are so many other attributes in a relationship that I value over fidelity.<<< and maybe you have never been really in love with a woman. and please, don't ask me to define what that means, that is one of the things beyond definition, only that you know if you are. it is something deeply instinctive where it really does not matter what your logic side of the brain might say about what attributes in a relationship you value. That statement seems a tad arrogant to me. Do you honestly think that your notion of love is the only one valid one? Do you think that the word love means the same thing to all people? Would not the greatest expression of love be to forgive someone who has cheated on you and understand why they did it ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 7, 2004 Report Share Posted April 7, 2004 <<<<Would not the greatest expression of love be to forgive someone who has cheated on you and understand why they did it ?<<<<< Not really. That is simply an expression of forgiveness, not love. The greatest expression of love, would be your g/f needing a heart transplant, and you stepping up to be a donor. To accept your partner wanting to be with others, is not a matter involving the greatest love you can give. That comes down to a personality trait in her, that you can either live with, or not. And that is also based largely on your own personality, as well. Some here don't mind their g/f-wife screwing other guys. Others feel it's ok to screw around on their g/f, but won't accept the reverse. Whatever works, and different strokes!, and all of that. We all have different needs and tolerance levels. I understand what you are trying to say, in that it is noble to forgive a single indiscretion. But the reality is some cannot do. If they didn't love them, they would not care, and would be easy to forget. Some have their world so wrapped up in their partner, with such a high degree of trust, that it can never be the same after. One partner married for 10 years finds out the other has been seeing someone else at the local hotel for the last 5 months, will most likely be devastated. More often than not, it will end the relationship. Victim will often feel their life has been one big lie, and be emossionaly shattered. Some can work through it, others can't. Hell....some actually get murdered, and have, many times throughout history. I guess anytime you're a lier and a cheater, you run a risk......not unlike a game of cards. Lie and cheat there, and you can also meet the same fate. :: HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted April 8, 2004 Report Share Posted April 8, 2004 orandanodes said:We've gone from is 20,000.= Baht too much or not enough to what level of infidelity is acceptable. So, JJ, P127, what's your opinion on the right amount in case of LT but infrequent relationships. The right amount? I have no idea. I would say it is what one wishes to give. I personally give a little more than what is needed so there is a sort of comfort buffer. And what do you expect from this financial assistance. I personally don't send money for a girl to hang out or relax waiting for my return. To me that is a waste of funds. When I sponsor a chick, the money has a purpose for some sort of educational or business self improvement. I "expect" the woman to improve her life in some capacity. My satisfaction is derived from the knowledge that I directly helped to improve in some capacity another persons life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted April 8, 2004 Report Share Posted April 8, 2004 Zaad said: With quotes like the one above you're trying to discourage people from debating your thoughts, intended or not. I don't mind debating opinions or my thoughts. I think I have enough of a track record on this board in embracing a debate on any topic and with any poster. What I do discourage is when the debated topic is solely subjective to the point where it is not even debateable but rather personal statements, yet the opposition wants to deem my opinions as "right" or "wrong" based on some sort of morality model. In this instance I don't understand the need for some(which would include yourself) to universally qualify what love is, what a "real" relationship is or what a committed relationship is according to their notion of personal propriety and thus label any differing view as an abberation or dysfunctional. In other words you take your own personal beliefs and you impose them as a common standard. When others don't fit that standard you then comment that "they can't possibly know what love is", that they are not in a "real committed relationship", "having more than one person to love is wrong", that they "only are in it for the sex", that they are "fooling themselves", etc, etc , etc. That is not discussion nor seeking to understand my dear Zaad. That is condemnation. I notice that is is only those proponents of monogamy that pass these types of nonsensical judgements and definitions of love and relationships. Case in point read the P127 posts and judgemental counterposts regarding his relationship. I don't see anyone criticizing you for loving only one woman. I don't see anyone saying that you are a sap to for being married, I don't see anyone saying that your concepts of love and committment are simply wrong, foolish or dysfunctional. You made a choice based on your value system to pursue the relationship of your choosing as does everyone else. A loving relationship is as you define it not as someone else wants to define it. Sometimes you guys remind me of Bible thumping evangelists, everyone is going to hell unless they follow your path. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted April 8, 2004 Report Share Posted April 8, 2004 soongmak said: Keep trying Zaad maybe you will eventually get me in that corner you want so I can squirm for you! JJ, You opt for the easy way out. Why don't you just answer his question? If you can't, seems to me you are cornered already. :: Soongmak every way out is easy for me. You can't corner a man who can walk through walls. BTW- I did answer the question. Pose it another way and you may get an answer more to your liking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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