pattaya127 Posted July 27, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2004 People stay together for other reasons. That says it all, thanks ------------------------------- Correct, but then, going back ever so slightly to the topic, what is the main logic behind mating uneducated, poor TGs? As there are plenty of less-educated, poorer women back in farangland. Is it that the farangs have finally found some kind of truth about marriage, in Thailand they had never found in farangland? When asking: how come they will go with girls of a very poor background in Thailand but would most likely never go that route back home is still a valid question. What makes it so easy to marry a poor TG, and not so easy to marry a poor girl back home (could be an emigrant, does not have to be a farang woman)? what makes a guy so determined to marry a poor TG, often from P4P and not a girl back home, esp. if P4P? I am not saying it's the wrong way to go, but since we're currently discussing the topic, it's worth asking ourselves these questions, IMO. personally, i think it's a mix of the P4P TGs not being absolutely damaged goods for being sex workers, on the part of the farang mindframe, and on the part of the girl, to have found someone who can provide for her, this equal if not more, to the affection felt for the farang. Nothing shameful, but love comes also with an "arrangement", in these RTs, marriages. The great majority of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted July 27, 2004 Report Share Posted July 27, 2004 P127, The reasons for a falang not to marry very poor women from their own culture is the same resaons why thai middle class don't get involved socially with their own poor. It is a social taboo, too familiar with the culture, a big step down, not view them as physically attarctive or socially attractive. On the other hand, isn't it always greener on the other side of the fence even when we are really lacking a lot of information? People can become faceless in a foreign land, can act less responsible (or let loose), will be likely less judged back home because the people judging know little or less about these foreign women than their cultural counterparts. Or maybe its the heat that impairs thinking? Many times people will choose something foreign due to the exoticness and unknowness of it and thus will make a decision quicker and sooner in the process and even with less information than when facing the same situation back home. Quite scary actually..... I bet if you standardize the data, I think you will find tourists marrying foreign women much sooner and with greater frequency than when comparing ex-pats or people who know they are going to move to that country marriage rates.... Cardinalblue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thalenoi Posted July 28, 2004 Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 [color:"blue"]Correct, but then, going back ever so slightly to the topic, what is the main logic behind mating uneducated, poor TGs?[/color] P127, I can guess for some people I know, but can tell you how I got this far.... Bachelor in psychology Belgian uni, I wanted to save the "made sick by their genitors" human being by becoming psychoanalist (schrink for the americans....) until I understood 2 things: 1) all shrinks are crazy, so was I already (don't ask me to expand the subject, that's a ride you don't want to take) 2) I read a book at the uni lib explaining all my ideas and shit, someone wrote them down 100 years before I had the chance to do so (no that was not Freud......the poor bastard) I realised I did not want to spend my life in making no progress for human mankind. I then decided to program computers, an easier goal than failing to heel hurt human beings and was succesful in attending IBM 360 mainframe courses. I enjoyed making a career in IT until I discovered human beings are using computers and these people had (have) no understanding what they are dealing with. (back to psychology) I met and worked for a bunch of assholes (Presidents, CEOs, VP's workers, employees all alike) and found fresh air in Thailand (20 trips in 10 years). Started dreaming quitting and retiring in LOS. Late 2000 wanted to rent a house I saw in Chumpon, but needed some P4P in Partya before hiding away. Picked up a bg, had lots of fun together, she got in trouble, partially my fault, proposed her to come with me to Chumpon. I could use the help of a local for negociations, opinion, purchasing furniture etc. I never asked her anything about her life, we simply stayed toghether as months passed by. Took her 2 years to tell her full story. Very smart lady but uneducated because she had to work after basic school? Hmm,I know she learned more about life than most of the uni educated humans. We had (have) many discussions, subject staying together or breaking apart because we do realise we represent two different worlds. We also understand chemicals are at work which make us glue together. We have a 95% match in these daily little things, you know, such as "where we go for lunch today", almost all the time we come up with the same idea on these things and a 98% match in the general opinion on life and people. I have never met a human being with whom almost everything goes so smooth and gives you a warm fuzzy feeling every hour of the day. And yes, we do disagree form time to time and then we have a bad time. Altough the language is a communication barrier, human beings have other means of communication (sic catholic religion...) She has brought the practice of "taking care" of each other at a level I never had imagined possible. I learned an incredible amount of wisdom from my "uneducated" little bg. I find myself a lot more relaxed and "down to earth". I got rid of my stupid ideas of mastering the universe. I believe this is what my education thaught me (mastering everything). I feel closer to the earth. Thanks to an uneducated poor bg.... You use the word "arrangement" It's my opinion any relationship carries an arrangement. and don't ask me what love is all about.... Hope this answers your question, but I doubt it..... And BTW, you guys have no clue with this fixation on "education". If you mean "attending school to build knowledge" I have bad news, most (if not all) schools systems are not into developing the human mind, rather the opposite. (I did participate in a governement sponsored study proving this) If you mean "education" as a darwinism for evolution of mankind in a stronger direction then mankind is practising "marble shooting". Parents are not trained to "educate", they simply have no clue. I need some sleep to take a train, a plane and a bus to Chumpon, see ya when I get there, bye. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soongmak Posted July 28, 2004 Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 The reasons for a falang not to marry very poor women from their own culture is the same resaons why thai middle class don't get involved socially with their own poor.` It is a social taboo, too familiar with the culture, a big step down, not view them as physically attarctive or socially attractive. I think the truth is a lot simpler than that: availability. I don't know where you come from, but here in the Netherlands there isn't a great taboo in mingling with someone from a lesser background. However, you don't meet them so often. You go to different schools, live in different neighbourhoods and you somehow just don't seem to meet that many girls outside your own class. Add to that girls back home are comparitively difficult to approach (especially compared to p4p in thailand!) and it is no wonder many people visiting thailand come home with a girl. I bet if you standardize the data, I think you will find tourists marrying foreign women much sooner and with greater frequency than when comparing ex-pats or people who know they are going to move to that country marriage rates.... Well, could that be because the expats have more time? I bet a lot of the tourists don't like to rush into marriage as well, but because of strict visa laws, they don't have that much choice; either formalize their RT, or cut their GF loose. Since most guys are still in love, guess what...they end up married. Cheers, soongmak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thalenoi Posted July 28, 2004 Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 cardinalblue said:Many times people will choose something foreign due to the exoticness and unknowness of it and thus will make a decision quicker and sooner in the process and even with less information than when facing the same situation back home. Quite scary actually..... Cardinalblue Yes, positive Darwinism. Not scary, just human nature Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted July 28, 2004 Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 Correct, but then, going back ever so slightly to the topic, what is the main logic behind mating uneducated, poor TGs? As there are plenty of less-educated, poorer women back in farangland. Is it that the farangs have finally found some kind of truth about marriage, in Thailand they had never found in farangland? I think the answer is quite evident from the multitude of responses thus far. You have older men who can engage in relationships with women almost half of their age. Both groups have certain basic needs and education is not even a variable in the equation. The barriers of entry are minor to phrase it delicately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bibblies Posted July 28, 2004 Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 For me, the truth's even simpler than that. I can't stand the voices. Ever seen Steve Martin's The Man With Two Brains? You can't live with it! I don't think I could live with a real "cor-blimey" London girl, nor anyone with a heavy South Efrikan accent. It just grates on my ears. The rest I'm fine with. Fuck what anyone else thinks. I truly don't understand the fascination with the topic. What has education got to do with love? Why should anyone think it does? Perhaps only from the farang's point of view, a poor girl could enhance the feeling by being his damsel to be rescued. That's about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted July 28, 2004 Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 [color:"red"] One of the best gfs i had was an educated and very smart farang. I had lots of philosophical debates with her (instead of with strangers in cyberspace ) and we talked about a alot of things that you simply cannot with a 'typical' uneducated girl. It was very stimulating and so was the sex. [/color] Hi, Some men like you like to talk about things, some men don't and actually many men do NOT want to talk about certain things with wives or GF. Also, some men are terribly afraid of educated women and some educated women are not really wise. For me each to his own, I just pray that the "uneducated Thais" find their own good ways in life whether they can talk well in any subject or not. The poverty in Thailand makes me think the gaps in the society is getting worse and I was hoping since I was little that they would dissapear. I don't think I will see the gap dissapear in my lifetime now. Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bibblies Posted July 28, 2004 Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 Yep, still don't understand it. You can have lots of philosophical debates with a girl. So what? You could have the same intellectual stimulation with another girl or a guy (or a book). Why does the participant have to be a girlfriend? Did the intellectual stimulation turn you on sexually, MaiLuk? Do you need to loosen your load as soon as you have one of these conversations? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted July 28, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2004 You use the word "arrangement" It's my opinion any relationship carries an arrangement. --------------------------- Assuredly, but poor TG/farang, it's the same arrangement for 99% of the cases. And it does not evolve with time, stays the same and as i said, looming very high in the RT. I know some escape that, a minority, IMO. Bibblies: What has education got to do with love? ----------------------------------- Who says it does? the topic was about farang guys easily in LT RT, marriage with poor TG, and that it's a novelty experience, for so many guys. Though, there are plenty of middle class TGs after all. hey, I am not saying it's a conundrum, or a questionable choice per se, just find it interesting it happens here and not there. Not to sound too cynical, but i think the lower cost of providing for a TG 20 or more years younger also allows "love" to bloom better ::.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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