To take revenge or not...?

[Old Hippie]

O.k. A good friend of mine went with a girl here in the USA, a few dayes, seemed going well. Then she had a few excuses, didn't return calls etc, so he blew it off. Then, she calls, sets up a few dates, cancels them, doesn't show up...he goes to meet her at her restaurant, and there are a few guys there, obviously all there to meet her...she spends time with them while ignoring my friend. The others leave, and she sits with him, makes another date, tells him to come back on wednesday for lunch...So he goes, now keep in mind, they have a date set up for The following Sunday.

So, as he is sitting there waiting, he hears the girl say to another guy, "why didn't you call me last Saturday night or Sunday, I had nothing to do...?" My friend had a date scheduled with her, which she broke. She then says a few minutes later, to a different customer "what are you doing Sunday, I may need your help...I have nothing to do Sunday..." Again, my friend has a date scheduled with her. He just blows it all off, and never contacts her.

 

Now...my friend has learned the woman is in the USA illeagally, overstayed a tourist visa by 3 years+ runs the restaurant for her "uncle" (no idea on the "real relationship") and is making a fortune while abusing the system (this is the reason the rest of us can't get visas for our GFs), and breaking hearts. We have met no less than a dozen guys she has pulled this with. Many relationships exploited or gone bad...

 

So my friend being even more petty and spiteful than I am, is seriously thinking of calling the Immigration service and turning her in. She would get deported, and most likely never be given a visa again to enter, for any reason. So moral question, is it wrong to take revenge against a woman who has played with your heart? I say tick for tack, but this is extreame...I suppose the immigration charge is justified, but does seem extreame. He is just pissed that she used/played with his heart. She didn't take him for anything, but he feels she lied and played him. So, is this revenge justified or not, discuss! And no, this is not me or about Si Saket Girl...so please keep comments to the topic!

[Tiger Moth]

For me the question is, does taking revenge provide any benefits? I am not sure if it does. I recently had a desire to take revenge but did not. And, in considering doing so, I was perplexed about the benefit to me. I figured I would still feel hurt about what had happened. So, if the other person also had some pain but I still felt hurt, how would that help me?

 

Not a matter of ethics in my thinking, just attempting to understand the practical benefits or not of taking revenge.

 

Regarding the following from your post, "Now...my friend has learned the woman is in the USA illeagally, overstayed a tourist visa by 3 years+ runs the restaurant for her "uncle" (no idea on the "real relationship") and is making a fortune while abusing the system (this is the reason the rest of us can't get visas for our GFs)". I don't understand how this is pertinent (other than the revenge opportunity). She doesn't own the restaurant. And, if it is a good restaurant providing good value and she is doing a good job - what's the problem? Doesn't CA have zillions of illegal immigrants from Mexico? How is this one "the reason the rest of us can't get visas for our GFs"?.

[gomez]

I would just walk away. I wouldn't feel better about myself if I turned her in.

 

In fact, I would feel like a weakling if I did such a thing, be like admitting to myself that she had overpowered me, made me run to the authorities.

 

He should just shake his head, smile to himself and walk away. It's the only way I could get out of it feeling like a man.

[pattaya127]

Your friend? Hum.......

Tell him to grow up, let bygones be bygones, as he should have dropped the matter (dating game) long ago, after the first "no show", or silly excuse for it.

Yes, it'a about revenge, not the law being abused.

[sky brow]

I woudnt bother with revenge.Treat her with all the respect she deserves.If she is an overstay then she is part of the reason why we can have so many probs with visa,s and embassies letting our g/f,wife etc travel to be with us. (Justified?,well thats up to your friend,if he has had major probs getting his loved one to join him from Thailand, probably.)Personally I wouldnt waste my time simply because she is playing games.

sky brow.

[think_too_mut]

> So moral question, is it wrong to take revenge against a woman who has played with your heart? I say tick for tack, but this is extreame...I suppose the immigration charge is justified, but does seem extreame. He is just pissed that she used/played with his heart.

 

I think he should do what he would have done if the woman were an American.

 

Would he be calling government institutions to complain about her? Asking them to, say, double check her restaurant books.

 

Had she done a material damage or business misconduct, that's another story.

 

If your friend is not loved as much as he wanted (or at all), it's his self-delusion to hang around such a woman and government agencies won't correct that.

[pattaya127]

it's his self-delusion to hang around such a woman and government agencies won't correct that.

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I am trying to keep my number of posts down, but i have to respond to this: applauding graemlin (comp screwing up lately, graemlin page with it )

[Nervous_Dog]

Jai Yen, Jai Yen

[shygye]

[color:"green"] Would he be calling government institutions to complain about her? Asking them to, say, double check her restaurant books. [/color]

 

Yes, the Health Dept. for a sanitation inspection.

[Zaad]

Agree with others.

Your friend should not get involved any further. Forget that woman, she's no good. A miserable future is awaiting her with a 'perfect' guy to match. That's her reward.