Barfine etiquette

[samak]

< A great opportunity to throw a few questions your way. Do you mind? Firstly, how many girls actually fall in love with their punters?>

 

HT! you, who always try to bring so much organization in threads and topics!

bargirls falling in love is totally offtopic in this thread about barowners being pimps and requesting BF's 24/7 and BG locked into the premises!

[Guest lazyphil]

You asked TN an incalcuable and retorical question (how many bgs fall in love with punters) then proceeded by answering your own question to me!

[torrenova]

I'll try and answer as best I can.

 

Firstly, how many girls actually fall in love with their punters? Or is it 'all business', with most of them?

 

The girls fall into a few different categories. Some do it purely because they have a baby and parents to take care of. They tend to just block it out. Others, particularly the younger ones without kids, can almost revel in the bright lights, discos, money etc. I honestly believe that some do not dislike their job, and for some girls, they only go with guys they at least find partially attractive.

 

Some are in it to find a way out for sure, some just hope they will hit lucky. As for love, I have seen that and lost a couple of girls. A sense of attraction happens much more regularly but this rarely develops into love as there isn't really enough time.

 

Secondly, what percentage, do you think, have a 'real' boyfriend lurking in the background? (Khon Thai, or otherwise).

 

As a fairly strict principle, the girls cannot have Thai boyfriends. Most girls live in the same hotel (75%) next to where we live and I know where the others live. If they do have a Thai boyfriend and I find out, then I tell them that I would prefer they did not and if it in any way interferes with their job or my business then they will be sacked.

 

The main problem you have with Thai boyfriends is them poncing money off the girl, coming to the bar and causing problems and most importantly, the girl fucking off from a LT (making it a ST) to take the leech his whisky money and leaving the punter pissed off. Pissed off punters rarely come back to the bar they just drink elsewhere.

 

Lastly, how do you see the business affecting the girls? Is it a real mind-fuck for them to do, or do you see them mostly taking it in stride?

 

I think some girls become hardcore and hardened by the business but I think that comes with bad experiences, bad company and bad habbits. Some girls just cannot hack it and leave after a day, week or after the first month. I don't think I have a girl who is fucked up by the business although I think they need a break every now and then to go home, relax and chill out with the family. We try to make sure that the girls' personal lifes are OK as well and we work with them to sort out any problems so far as we can. The end result is a happier more loyal workforce who, hopefully, like working for us.

 

One other thing.....Do you see any common traits among working girls, as opposed to any other girl? In other words, do you see any common denominator among your B'G's, personality wise?

 

I think that the girls who work for us tend to be of a happy disposition and some new girls find this easy to get along with or hard to adjust to after perhaps working somewhere "different" before. Over time, the core girls who stay have similar attitudes and broadly similar value sets. we don't have girls who think they are "better" or who have their heads up their arses like some sort of prima donna. We've sacked a few of those !

[khwaimaisabai]

lazyphil said:

Not wanting to stick my beak in, but I will anyway ::, how do you expect TN to know if the girls love or not anyone?

Hi phil,

Agree with you on this. One question ht did not ask, but maybe torrenova would answer, is how many find a sponsor and stop work?

This is, imho, what many of them are hoping for. Whether love in the western sense is part of such a deal nobody knows - I guess sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't.

Khwai

[torrenova]

Sponsorship takes on many forms. It can range from a guy sending a girl a few baht each month, say perhaps Bt2000-4000 who just wants to help a girl out and maybe jump the queue next time, all the way up to guys sending Bt60,000 or so per month for the girl to stop work, live in a nice condo and have more than sufficient money to live on and send home.

 

A lot of the girls have goals. I have one of two sisters (the other is in a go-go) whose objective is to make Bt1,000,000 to build a house for their mama. What they will do once their objective is achieved I do not know.

 

Some need to take care of a baby and think no further than that, perhaps putting a little extra into the village house to buy land or open a small store or business.

 

Just as some girls will go with just about anybody and some will only go if they like the man at least somewhat physically, then so it is with the potential sponsor / marriage etc. I think the older ones with kids are more inclined to want an exit route as their time and earning power is limited. Some of the younger ones would not do it as they enjoy the party lifestyle that their money affords them.

 

As for love, I think the older ones (post 25 say) will be interested in someone who it non repulsive, is jai dee and can show some respect for them. Financially of course, they have to be able to provide. By definition, younger guys are not often in a position to provide long term financial support.

 

From the reaction of some of the girls, I am not sure many actually know what love is. At best, they do not often look at it the same way as westerners do. Some of the younger ones "fall" for a young fit customer and say that they love him (to us, not to him) but what they really love is his physical side.

 

On the other hand, I have an older cashier in one of the bars who has some regulars but would love a guy who can take care of her and her pre teen son. I know she would sacrifice her feelings to provide a secure future for her child. Whether love can flourish in such an arrangement I do not know.

[Zorro]

T said

"From the reaction of some of the girls, I am not sure many actually know what love is. At best, they do not often look at it the same way as westerners do. Some of the younger ones "fall" for a young fit customer and say that they love him (to us, not to him) but what they really love is his physical side."

 

I don't think that the process is any different to westerners and there are also westerners who confuse the initial infatuation stage with love.

The first thing is the physical attraction.

Then we see if we get on well together...i.e. enjoy each others company.

Finally love develops as a result of shared experiences and emotional comittment.

[billywan]

IMO, if she has not been barfined. What she does after work is her business. The barowner has no business dictating what she does on her time off. Like a previous poster said, she should tell the barowner what she does on her time off is her own business but doubt she will the fortitude to tell him the way it is.

 

Billywan

[Guest]

Billy wann said "IMO, if she has not been barfined. What she does after work is her business. The barowner has no business dictating what she does on her time off. Like a previous poster said, she should tell the barowner what she does on her time off is her own business but doubt she will the fortitude to tell him the way it is."

 

I could not agree more. I think this is where the line is drawn for what is acceptable and that which is not. A women should be allowed to do what she feels like in her free time, especially when her 'work' has no benefits, she can be fired at will, etc. etc. I feel this is one of the threshholds were human trading begins. I know, most believe this is acceptable but I do not know one who thinks it is acceptable, would work under such conditions.

[think_too_mut]

samak said:

it is not against their will! those who live their (for free) and are not barfined, are locked in until the next morning.

 

I know of one bar that has quarters for their girls in SC.

It is not for free - it's 300B per month per girl, so the room goes for 6K baht per month.

1 toilet, 1 cold shower (outside the room, so the door can not be closed for simple need for peeing etc). Floor sleeping.

 

Their possessions are in the lockers.

 

No overnight lock-ups of the room, no use of the room as a ST place. The girls first starting stay there a month or two before escaping the madness of sharing the room with drunk or neurotic coworkers, constant ins and outs.

 

My info is from one girl that used to stay there first 6 weeks of her tenure, 4 years ago now. Good chance we are talking the same bar with a room upstairs.

[Guest]

What should be interesting is if a bar girl should tell the bar manager to get lost when he says she can not have a boy friend or have customers after hours unless they pay a bar fine. If the bar manager should fire her, she should go and apply for unemployment. She could claim she was illegally fired. She could also seek compensation from the bar.

 

As far as falangs buying a girl out of a bar; rethink before acting. No way should a person have to pay the bar off to get a girl out of a bar. Tell the bar manager to get lost and if he expects any compensation, tell him to sue you. Don't expect to be sued! If enough people stand up to this nonsense, there will be a lot less problems.