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sinsott question


thai3

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I haven't paid any sin sot yet (will be 1 million) and am no expert on this, but you must explain more of the family situation, her contacts with the stepparents, what she expects (depending on her social status) and so on.

 

I was at a wedding at a big hotel 6 years ago, the circumstances were similar and an aunt acted as parent and a big sin sot was paid and returned to the husband (who instead paid for the wedding). Everything to give the pregnant wife the correct entrance to married life in her circles (very high up), that was a thai/thai marriage however.

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Sinsott question:

 

I too have had many thoughts on the Sin sott idea...mainly, bad as It seems about money and such. I'm sure many of us feel similiar about Sin Sott...mainly, don't like it!

 

My father pointed something out to me about Sin Sott that brought it in perspective: Sin sott to him, is about respecting ones culture.

 

He placed several examples before me: So when she is with her girl friends and they bring up the subject 1. she will lie about it. 2. she will lose face because you didn't pay or 3. she will again lie about the amount and lessen her feelings about you...as this is important...Sin Sot.

 

He went on: If she pays her own sin sott then she will always know that you truely value money more then her and hold her in low esteem or value.

 

He stated, "Not respecting your wifes culture makes little sense when you plan to marry into it...women want to be loved, held in high esteem, valued and taken care of. To under value how sin sott plays into this is immature, will cause major problem down the road and will only cause harm...what is 300,000 to 800,000 baht anyways...don't you spend that already each time you go see her."

 

Pieces taken from a recent conversation with my old man...

 

SkiBum

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I suppose if you look at it from the perspective of how much a wedding ring and wedding would cost in the west then the sinsot is probably not a big deal and still far cheaper than getting married in the west.

The only problem i have with it is that most guys who are marrying Thai women are marrying women who do not work and do not bring anything financial into the relationship. Further most women will probably not inherit much from their parents. And on top of that are often expected to help out the extended family.

 

Do thai women marrying for the second time around expect a dowry?

The reason i ask is that there could be serial "marryers" making a tidy sum out of the sinsot deal.

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I agree we should respect thai culture but what about them respecting falang culture. In my culture the family of the bride pay for the wedding and party so how about the thai family doing that If I paid the sinsott. As for being expected for a divorced woman, it would seem yes even if has children and have worked in a bar. Lots of exceptions of course. The lady with the million I mentioned has been married three times at least and now has a five million baht house up country, what a racket it can be-peter

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SkiBum said:

Sinsott question:

 

I too have had many thoughts on the Sin sott idea...mainly, bad as It seems about money and such. I'm sure many of us feel similiar about Sin Sott...mainly, don't like it!

 

My father pointed something out to me about Sin Sott that brought it in perspective: Sin sott to him, is about respecting ones culture.

 

He placed several examples before me: So when she is with her girl friends and they bring up the subject 1. she will lie about it. 2. she will lose face because you didn't pay or 3. she will again lie about the amount and lessen her feelings about you...as this is important...Sin Sot.

 

He went on: If she pays her own sin sott then she will always know that you truely value money more then her and hold her in low esteem or value.

 

He stated, "Not respecting your wifes culture makes little sense when you plan to marry into it...women want to be loved, held in high esteem, valued and taken care of. To under value how sin sott plays into this is immature, will cause major problem down the road and will only cause harm...what is 300,000 to 800,000 baht anyways...don't you spend that already each time you go see her."

 

Pieces taken from a recent conversation with my old man...

 

SkiBum

 

I tend to think of it the other way around. I want to know how much does she values me and my cultures principles. Does the thai woman value her culture more than her husband's wishes? I personally don't wish to compete with culture in my relationship.

 

Assuming we are dealing with a poor family, I am against sinsot, unless it is equivalent to what a Thai man would pay.

 

Unless I am going to live and raise my family in Thailand the woman would be moving to be with me to the States, so she will be in the American culture moreso than the Thai culture.

I would also be supporting her until she can mind a way to make a financial contribution to the marriage.

She will also be recieving all of the benefits of eventual American citizenship whereas I will have none in Thailand.

 

I am sure that some portion of our income would find it's way back to Thailand to help her family.

 

Divorce laws in the States pretty much guarantee her a nice benefit based on my income and means so the purpose of the sinsot is negated by US divorce laws.

 

So when you add all of that up it seems rather silly to be paying sinsot in this day and age and if a chick insisted on it then she can go find another groom.

 

The only exceptions I would make to the rule are if i was living inThailand; the family would foot the wedding bill at the least equivalent to the sinsot amount; if the chick and her family had their own financial means, meaning the sinsot would be a pittance and it is more for ceremony than anything else and I would naturally get it back or it would be put to some agreed upon positive use.

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Zorro said:

I suppose if you look at it from the perspective of how much a wedding ring and wedding would cost in the west then the sinsot is probably not a big deal and still far cheaper than getting married in the west.

The only problem i have with it is that most guys who are marrying Thai women are marrying women who do not work and do not bring anything financial into the relationship. Further most women will probably not inherit much from their parents. And on top of that are often expected to help out the extended family.

 

Do thai women marrying for the second time around expect a dowry?

The reason i ask is that there could be serial "marryers" making a tidy sum out of the sinsot deal.

 

I wouldn't expect my wife to work...I would rather her play house wife and take care of it all on the home front. If she did work I would have her mix her money with a fraction of mine to pay our expenses.

 

Skibum

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Thai3-

 

"I agree we should respect thai culture but what about them respecting falang culture."

 

Sinsot is Thai and we are talking about taking a TG from Thailand out of her culture and support system to something foreign...You should concern yourself with respecting her culture and worry about her respecting yours later!

 

 

 

"In my culture the family of the bride pay for the wedding and party so how about the thai family doing that If I paid the sinsott."

 

 

This could be included in the sinsot if you had your GF arrange it with the family!

 

"As for being expected for a divorced woman, it would seem yes even if has children and have worked in a bar. Lots of exceptions of course. The lady with the million I mentioned has been married three times at least and now has a five million baht house up country, what a racket it can be-peter"

 

 

Even in the west woman marry for money all the time...thats why you should know the girl and her family and make a good choice. Weed out the girls that are concerned with money to much. Don't be the ATM for her, don't pay things she should pay, teach finincial responsiblity and show how important money is! Teach her how not to waste money on silly things. Above all, how to save and the rewards that follow. Also, she needs to buy gifts out of her money for you...this shows her heart.

 

SkiBum

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