Sin sot-a TG view

[AF16]

You Jai Dee Mak Mak

 

But it was that easy for me.

[Guest]

Hi Guys,

 

I don't think there is any question sin sot is alive and well, within the Thai community, at large. A Thai wedding without sin sot, would be like a farang wedding, without a wedding cake. That might be a little exstreme, but I think is true in the vast amounts of weddings there, between Thai/Thai. It is simply a part of the culture there, regardless of the reason/origins.

 

You also have to remember that there is not just "one" Thai culture that resides in Thialand. Different area's can have very different cultural heritage's and customs. Which is true of other countries, as well. A cajun wedding on the bayou in Louisiana, is likely to be very different from a Morman wedding in Utah, or an Indian wedding on a reservation, in the U.S. All with very different, and specific/unique customs surrounding them.

 

That said, the issue, or even the existance of sin sot, in a Thai Wedding will also vary greatly. But with a 'class society' like Thailand, you have that additional aspect. It's not only locale, but 'class' distinction, *within* a certain locale. And I think that fact, makes it especially difficult to detirmine a 'norm'. And is why we hear so many different 'real life' stories about this. You can easily have 2 girl's from Korat (Nakhon Ratchasima), and have 1 girl having the sin sot issue be a make-it-or-break-it deal, and the other not requiring at all. On the surface, you might think 1 girl's family/her are just greedy, and the other girl's, is not. It's just not that easy. And can be so very far from the truth.

 

I can only know this subject, from my Thai gf's point of view. We have spent many, many hours discussing this over the last couple of years. But not about us.....but about the whole issue, and what it represents, and it's meaning within the Thai culture.

 

Here is what I've gotten from it, from a single average Thai girl. And I mean average, in the regard of coming from a middle class working Thai family, all born and raised in an average central Thai town:

 

Sin sot is *hugely* important. But what I mean in terms of importance.........is not nessassarily in baht amount. And that is a *very* important point to understand from the beginning.

 

It's a part of their culture, that *WILL* have to be addressed, to the entire community, that makes up their entire world there. And there is absolutely no escape for them, from that. In some sense, her parents are defined as to what their beloved daughter can accomplish through their hard work, and committment. And I mean defined, within their own Thai community.

 

Shit....I gotta go. If anyone is interested, I'll continue later.

 

Sorry!

 

HT

[Torneyboy]

[Khun_Kong]

In the States, it is a common tradition for the bride's family to pay all costs for wedding and reception, sometimes honeymoon, etc. The lavishness will often contribute to the face/ego/pride of the bride and her family.

 

Not too often do I hear of Thai people asking if they can honor this tradition.

 

Maybe a bit of I'll honor yours/you honor mine is in order.

[shygye]

You have lost all your negotiating power.

[Guest]

Hi shygye,

 

>>>>>>>>You have lost all your negotiating power?<<<<<<

 

I'm back.

 

:: No. I never even got started, and could not finish my story. In the end, tirak will handle khun mae (family).

 

HT

[JJsushi]

Khun_Kong said:

In the States, it is a common tradition for the bride's family to pay all costs for wedding and reception, sometimes honeymoon, etc. The lavishness will often contribute to the face/ego/pride of the bride and her family.

 

Not too often do I hear of Thai people asking if they can honor this tradition.

 

Maybe a bit of I'll honor yours/you honor mine is in order.

 

The tradition of the brides family pays is as extinct as a dodo bird. The cost of a wedding and reception Stateside these days starts off @ about $25k(not including rings and honeymoon) if u are in a major metropolitan area. Most nuptials have to bear the brunt of the cost because the families can't afford it. There was a recent article in the WSJ last week that shows the trend is to now make the guests oay for the wedding. Couples now ask guests to contribute directly to an account that is used to pay vendors or to simply give cash of at least $150 a head as a gift. I have not been to too many weddings in the States where the nuptials profited or broke even, usually they finish in the red.

[Guest]

>>>>The tradition of the brides family pays is as extinct as a dodo bird.<<<

 

In your world, that may be true.

 

But to exstend that to all circumstances, and cultures, within the US, is silly. Maybe true in the New York state of the US, but not true generaly. The notion is very alive and well, same as sin sot is in Thailand.

 

HT

[chilli13]

Thanks for the addition. I liked it somewhat.

But theres still one things that puzzles me as I understand in LOS its supposed to be the grooms family who hosts the wedding party unlike in the west where its the brides family. Sure matters a lot especially for poor farmers like in this example, but again it was the brides family who was playing host & thus wondering whether the sin sod would actually cover the party expenses not to mention 1 more person in the household?

 

P.s. for JJ & others who may wonder I'm sure the groom bargained real hard for the sin sod!

[JJsushi]

HIGH THAIED said:

>>>>The tradition of the brides family pays is as extinct as a dodo bird.<<<

 

In your world, that may be true.

 

But to exstend that to all circimstances, and cultures, within the US, is silly. Maybe true in the New York state of the US, but not true generaly. The notion is very alive and well, same as sin sot is in Thailand.

 

HT

 

"My world"? Try the USA my friend.

Amazing how on one hand you disqualify my statement as a generalization, yet on the other you counter with your own generalization. What do you base your info on?

 

I stand by my statement that most weddings in the USA are not paid for by the brides family.

 

I will provide evidence not solely based on my opinion. Try a google search if you doubt me.

 

"Current statistics show that this common sense approach is spreading to a national scale. According to an article in the July 23, 2003 issue of the Christian Science Monitor quotes the Association of Bridal

Consultants saying that only about 20% of weddings are still paid for entirely by the parents of the bride. Not surprisingly, considering the factors mentioned above, about 53% are jointly financed by both sets of

parents and the (often well-financially- established) bride and groom, and about 27% are financed entirely by the bride and groom alone. "

 

So the Association of Bridal Consultants determines that 20% of weddings are paid in the traditional manner of the brides parents picking up the tab.

I think my statement is pretty valid given this evidence. Looks like the pecentage of nuptials paying the full costs is 27% which higher than the brides parents alone.

 

This sort of makes sense given that people are getting married later in life. The average wedding costs $20k. The average age of nuptials is about 27, their combined income is about $60k , the average age for re-marries is 35 and over 45% of nuptials live together before marriage.

 

I have qualified and supported my misguided "generalization" can you do the same for yours?