Guest Posted November 13, 2005 Report Share Posted November 13, 2005 Frig ChristionTroy.....that's deep.....much of it I have thought about before, much I haven't. At least your over the hump about knowing if she realy likes you or if it is the money she's after, I have to conquer that one first......I got the feeling many relationships don't make it past that stage. I need more time to be certain for myself, hard to do sitting on Tokyo. I think your spot on about how you are dealing with the cash issues. The team thing is how we look at it too(do I trust that statement from her), she wants to do her best to contribute(does she really), and I will pitch in for the family in LOS when I can........they just better hold some damn good parties when I visit though. Never though about the family retiring off my computer admin salary......I have filled her in that i don't make lots of money, and probably never will. Doesn't sound like you have a trust issue with her, it's more of a cultural difference, or maybe it's a trust issue with the family.......all I can say is....DO YOU KNOW HOW WACKY YOUR LIFE IS?????? If you explained this stuff to anyone that hasen't been in Thailand, they would think you were crazy. Anyway.....hopefully I get to the same point where I'm teching computer skills to her... long way to go! She's still worried that I'm full of it.........out of the blue she mentioned that last night .. Wow...too bad you can't buy trust for 1000 baht. I'd pick some up at the store. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted November 13, 2005 Report Share Posted November 13, 2005 I just don't see how the degree of trust can cancel out significant differences in poverty/wealth, education, business knowledge, etc... These differences just are not on the same plane. and thus maybe trust factor per se is not the answer in trying to reslolve other distinct issues (non-character) at hand..... CB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 13, 2005 Report Share Posted November 13, 2005 Well, there is no wrong or right when it comes to believes, There is only one true God you can believe that my friend. The best case scenario is that she is going to listen to me Yes a wife should always obey her husband. I know she is the only one in her 9 head family who is able to take care of them, she has a little sugar sweet son who is 2 years old, she is doing everything for him. She knows when she is staying with me she will live in a huge house with a pool and at least 2 plasma TVs but what about her family? I know she will feel like crap if her family still has to share 3 rooms with 9 people. Oh my Buddha i see trouble in paradise. If she is the only one who can care for them you better believe she will have to take care of them. Which means you BOTH have to take care of them. Her beliefs about this versus your beliefs. The differences in poverty/wealth as the gentleman above mentioned is fertile ground for tension. If she will feel uncomfortable living with luxuries, just send her family the plaza TVs and call it a wash. And have them sign a written release just to be sure. Here is what it should say: "We the family hereby release Christain Troy (a good name you have sir) from all claims of support that have arisen or will arise beginning with the commencement of christain recorded history to and through the ultimate and conclusive end of the End Times " God speed be with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Central Scrutinizer Posted November 14, 2005 Report Share Posted November 14, 2005 CTroy, I have one question. Why is it out of nine people it is up to a 20 year old girl to take care of all of them? Are the rest old and/or crippled? There are very few Thais I have seen in a family of nine that can't do something to earn some baht toward the upkeep of a family expense. I have other questions, but I need this one answered first before I can ask the others. Cent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rmorris22 Posted November 14, 2005 Report Share Posted November 14, 2005 It has been well over a year since I last posted on the board. Not that I had much of anything important to say at the time since my experiences in LOS was limited to 5 trips where BKK and Pattaya where my desitnations. I have now been living and working in the Philippines for the last 11 months. I am married to a Filipina and have a two week old child. The best advice that I can give is to remember: 1. These boards are a source of great information for somone going on a vacation to LOS, Philippines or another Asian country if one wants to enjoy the nightlife activities. 2. NEVER use these boards as a resource on how to initiate or maintain a normal relationship with a Thai or Asian woman. If one does the relationship will be doomed. You cannot enter into a relationship and make it work with the expectation that you will be ripped off, cheated on, lied to or what ever. Taking to heart to much of what you read here will also cloud your judgement. I know it did mine when I first met my wife. You should just approach a relationship just like you would in your own country. Just spend some time tying to understand some of the cultural differences that you will encounter. Rely on the same instincts that you would rely on back home. Listen to your gut feel because it is usually right. A couple of months ago I had a conversation with a new expat at the company. He was just getting settled in and was waiting for his wife and kids to arrive. He had just gotten a massage (regular) at a health club at the mall. The girl had said she wanted to be his maid. He related this to me as if he were considering this. I just looked at him and asked "If you were back home, would you ever consider hiring a girl from a massage palour to be your maid?" Of course, he said no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted November 14, 2005 Report Share Posted November 14, 2005 Cent, I have a little insight to this. I asked the same question as to why my beloved S** had to take on this role of supporting the family. I was told all sorts of crap, but it came down to, she honestly felt she needed to do it. Older sister married, younger sister married with a kid, brother...basically to lazy and stupid to do anything, has 2 kids, so almost too lazy for anything... Mother old, and needs help...so basically all are dependent on her...baby sick, call S**, roof blows off, call S**, brother fucks up on the tractor and damages a motorcycle, call S**....it never ends... My guess is, CT's girl is in the same situation/cycle... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristianTroy Posted November 14, 2005 Report Share Posted November 14, 2005 Cent said:CTroy, I have one question. Why is it out of nine people it is up to a 20 year old girl to take care of all of them? Obviously that was my first question too, she said she has some sort of heart condition and almost died when she was young and the family went to the bank for a major loan to cure her. NOW THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE ULTIMATE MASTER PIECE OF ALL SCAMS, i know! Fact is that she is taking beta blocker pills everyday and if I'd accuse her a scammer after seeing her putting this poison into her body i would be an total asshole. Long story short: everyone in the family is a farmer, her sisters are married to Thais, they don't work at bar My girl has a 2 year old son and feels guilty that the family couldn't afford anything because they had to pay back the bank. If this was all scam there would still be depth at the bank, but they already payed their dues years ago. They make money, but no amounts close to what she was able to make at the bar! This is my reply to you OH: The family is not demanding anything, she just feels that she owes her life to them, she also want her son to grow up in a better envoirement than she did. The family seem to be good people, I always hear happy people in the background, i can say that the family of my ex had a different sound, they asked me for 40k baht and i told them to fuck off, it was an unreasonable request after beeing with their daughter for only 9 days My girlfriend knows what it means to live on a budget, all she wants is to have 20k per month for her family, everything else goes to her bank account which is supposed to guarantee an excellent education for her son. If this is really everything she wants we will never have problems over money. I'll wait and see how this story evolves (and here was my trust issue again) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristianTroy Posted November 14, 2005 Report Share Posted November 14, 2005 rmorris22 said:Rely on the same instincts that you would rely on back home. Listen to your gut feel because it is usually right. Basically i agree with your entire post and on the other hand i have to say "it is not that easy" your example about the massage girl was excellent, listening to your guts might not help you with a Thai in the long run. The money will always be an issue, no matter if she is loving you to death, if there is no money to pull from this relationship she gotta move on! Even when you offer her a nice house, a car and a packed fridge there are still the hungry mouthes in Issan to feed. Someone gotta take care of that and in the most cases it is the man without a name because they call him the Falang Husband! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gummigut Posted November 14, 2005 Report Share Posted November 14, 2005 rmorris22 said:2. NEVER use these boards as a resource on how to initiate or maintain a normal relationship with a Thai or Asian woman. If one does the relationship will be doomed. I disagree. Lots of useful information for normal relationships. Just need to separate the wheat from the chaff. <<burp>> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted November 14, 2005 Report Share Posted November 14, 2005 I do not recall calling OH a loser ------------------------- Neither do I since we never talkd to each other. check with my source ....(you can fill in the blanks). I had a 20 minutes conversation with that source over it, was quite upset. Hard to forget. KS, no need to take it further indeed, but if I was the one who posted such name-calling relative to a story we all know very well, without naming anyone, you'd be on my case. And you would be damned right to do so. I do not keep grudges and I have no quarrel with OH, on my side. I pleaded guilty already of engaging him about it a bit too much, having had an earful for a good year about it. And that was quite a while ago. On the contrary, I have been quite lauding of his photography and even thought him to be the author of the only pix i gave a 10 this last contest. Case closed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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