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This Book Could Help your Relationship?


Torneyboy

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yeah, it looks pretty interesting. I've been seeing a ton of people in bangkok reading it since it came out. it's written in both thai and english, side by side.

 

a friend of mine wrote the thai part. interestingly, she's lived in the US for about 20 years! but I think most of the cultural observations are pretty valid (she still comes back here and visits).

 

one thing someone told me about the book, though--I haven't read it, just skimmed it--is the rather questionable advice she (and her farang male co-author) makes on what to do if you're a former bargirl and you meet your farang hubby's family: "tell them straight off you were a hooker, because they're going to suspect it anyway, and they'll appreciate your honesty"...bullshit!! prositution is waaaay more stigmatized in the West (well, in the US anyway) than here in Thailand, that's bound to be a disastrous bit of "honesty"! my friend's naivete in that respect betrays the fact that she absolutely no experience with or knowledge of the farang-oriented sex industry here; she's upper class and a language teacher (of Thai to farangs). she wrote the book under a pseudonym too, by the way.

 

other than that, I think the book could be quite useful to those folks brave (nutty?) enough to attempt to get the cross-cultural relationship thing to work...

 

preahko

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preahko said:

yeah, it looks pretty interesting. I've been seeing a ton of people in bangkok reading it since it came out. it's written in both thai and english, side by side.

 

a friend of mine wrote the thai part. interestingly, she's lived in the US for about 20 years! but I think most of the cultural observations are pretty valid (she still comes back here and visits).

 

one thing someone told me about the book, though--I haven't read it, just skimmed it--is the rather questionable advice she (and her farang male co-author) makes on what to do if you're a former bargirl and you meet your farang hubby's family: "tell them straight off you were a hooker, because they're going to suspect it anyway, and they'll appreciate your honesty"...bullshit!! prositution is waaaay more stigmatized in the West (well, in the US anyway) than here in Thailand, that's bound to be a disastrous bit of "honesty"! my friend's naivete in that respect betrays the fact that she absolutely no experience with or knowledge of the farang-oriented sex industry here; she's upper class and a language teacher (of Thai to farangs). she wrote the book under a pseudonym too, by the way.

 

other than that, I think the book could be quite useful to those folks brave (nutty?) enough to attempt to get the cross-cultural relationship thing to work...

 

preahko

 

Preahko,

 

In speaking with this woman, she said the decision to include the truth about a BGs past to the guys parents, was the idea/advice of her co author, a farang. I and almost all people who discussed the book with them, told them we disagreed. A great book non the less. I understand a follow up book out lining problems that come after the wedding may be in the works. In any event, worth reading.

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This book is great and it really helped me and my wife. In my opinion, the most useful aspect of it is that it explains how farangs think and how our culture works -- in Thai. Even if this sort of credible, lucid writing on that particular topic weren't rare, it's unlikely your TG has encountered it in such a concise easy to digest form.

 

I agree with the other posts regarding BGs being advised to come clean immediately about their past. That is terrible advice and is oddly out of place in an otherwise spot-on treatment of the subject matter. (I disagree with the poster who said that prostitution is more stigmatized in the west than in Thailand. IMO, no way is that true -- don't confuse bar girl culture with mainstream Thai culture.)

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"...(I disagree with the poster who said that prostitution is more stigmatized in the west than in Thailand. IMO, no way is that true -- don't confuse bar girl culture with mainstream Thai culture.) ..."

 

TA,

 

I think it might actually be true in certain parts of Thailand, where familes seem to have no shame about where and how their daughters earn the money that supports them. Hell, I think it is fair to think/say that many of these girls have mothers who worked in the trade before, or maybe still do...

 

Assuming the girl is from that area, or from that type of family, she might think it o.k. to come clean, and tell all about her past, after all, her parents know...or so it might seem in SOME cases anyway.

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