Old Hippie Posted May 14, 2006 Report Share Posted May 14, 2006 OK, next issue, you have talked, talks failed, she told you "never mind, don't worry," and went anyway, against your requests. You are now ready to walk...what happens with the kids? remember, 2 young daughters, supposedly yours! will you leave them? most likely to fall into the same dead end? Most likely, you cannot get them out of Thailand with you, or keep them with you in Thailand...and she could just take them and leave...you'd never find them...now what to do? to me, the kids are being used as weapons here. I would disagree that it is about controlling your wife, it is more about taking a stand for the kids sake first, then your own sake second. An ultimatium may have to be issued, and enforced. The obvious is the marrage is over for sure, the problem is, the kids...Discuss... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AF16 Posted May 14, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2006 Well there is where I meet a dead end. When I entered this marriage I did a lot of preparation and I was sure to make clear what I found acceptable and what was not. If my wife cheated on me I would walk and I would not think about it. To bad, but that's how it would go. With children it's a whole new ballgame. To much to loose to not be scared to leave, and that's when the powerbalance might shift. Don't know, I'm allready scared shittless about what would happen if we broke up, with me staying here and her perhaps wanting to move to Thailand. As it is it seems like she would want the child rased here as there are better oppertuneties here and I don't think she would use the child as a weapon, but one still worries. Sometimes there is not happy ending no matter what you choose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted May 14, 2006 Report Share Posted May 14, 2006 OK, this is what I was saying long ago, about ratting on someone who is married and has kids...I want no parts of it...the best evidence this guy has, is my word... I agree, he needs to dump the bitch, but it woyuld take major wrangling to save those 2 daughters from a horrible life with their mother...sadsly, this is a real story I am talking about...there will be no winner... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cavanami Posted May 15, 2006 Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 I was in that situation some years ago...the x-wife was using the child as a weapon. On the advice of the lawyer, I waited until the child was of age to make their own decision, so I sucked it up or a few years. Not fun, had to call the police as she got violent a few times, like n stabbing me with a knife. In the end, she was gone, child stayed with me and I got the house! I had to pay her a share of the house but I was pleased at the end of things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AF16 Posted May 15, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 Old Hippie said:OK, this is what I was saying long ago, about ratting on someone who is married and has kids...I want no parts of it...the best evidence this guy has, is my word... I agree, he needs to dump the bitch, but it woyuld take major wrangling to save those 2 daughters from a horrible life with their mother...sadsly, this is a real story I am talking about...there will be no winner... It's no better not knowing. You are a part of it even if you choose not saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted May 15, 2006 Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 So what do I gain by telling him? This guy will go on forever in denial, or wise up on his own...or his wife will dump him for greener pastures, hopefully either leaving the kids with him, or having another farang with more, take them in...either way, I gain nothing from telling him, and he has no way of knowing I know anything about this at all... I have suggested a plan,to get the kids out of there, but it will get ugly, and he'd basically have to leave Bangkok I think... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AF16 Posted May 15, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 If he is a friend you should not expect to 'gain' anyting. You should give your freind the treatment a friend deserves. The question is if he wants to know. Many when asked answer that, yes I would be mad if you told me but even angrier if you knew and did not. It means that you risk loosing a friend and they still would like to know. You might loose in all respects exept knowing that you did the right thing by your friend. It all rests on what he wants. You have said he asks you if you know anyting, suggesting he wants to know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted May 16, 2006 Report Share Posted May 16, 2006 Oddly, yes, many say the would want to know, but later wish they didn't...and knowing how manipulative she can be, I am likely to lose a friend, maybe even make an enemy of him, and they may end up staying together, while she continues her crap. May even lead to a physical altercation depending on how she twists it... BTW "Gain" is a figure of speech, I don't actually expect to gain anything, rather, I expect to lose... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 17, 2006 Report Share Posted May 17, 2006 Thai's have a saying: don't get involved when it's about husband and wife... because you'll be the bad guy in the end! Generally, I agree with this... depends on how well you know your friend though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 17, 2006 Report Share Posted May 17, 2006 In answer to the initial post, i'd have to agree with BSTaucer. If she your ho, she's got no business messing around in NaNa Plaza or hanging with her plaza friends, or hanging with any friends at all. Once I permitted and encouraged my x to bring friends home from the salon school i was paying for. I thought this would be nice. This went on for sometime and i even allowed her to go out once or twice with her friends. Then one day i made it home early enough to meet one of the friends... i expected to meet a nice, hardworking person. instead i find an ex or current BG (i dunno... probably a free lancer) sitting in my house pretending to be someone she's not. The previledge was immediately revoked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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