Old Hippie Posted May 13, 2006 Report Share Posted May 13, 2006 See, the problem is, a lot of guys will say they trust their wifes...but really, they live in fear of losing her, so allow her to do as she wants...the guy I am talking about lost control of the situation...I would argue, his wife probably has been pulling her shit all along, but just got more brazene, or empowered by it lately, when her sisters arrived... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BSTaucer Posted May 13, 2006 Report Share Posted May 13, 2006 Dear Gents, I say, Dear god men, what is wrong with the lot of you? "...trust your wife..." "...be sensitive..." what rubbish indeed. You all sound like a bunch of comiserating bints in a PMT ward! It is not at all about trust. It is rather about what is appropriate behavior for a married mother of 3. Such a woman has neither business nor proper reason to dress like a common prostitute, associate with working girls on the game, while on the game mind you! Nor should she be seen in or near any local where such women ply their trade! Additionally I should comment, there are young children about! God lord, how many of you "trusting" sorts would like your young daughters raised around such stock? Would you want your children to see their mother and aunts going out in the evening dressed as such sort? There is nothing at all appropriate about this situation. No doubt, it was the "trust" this man had in his wife which led to his losing control of his home, wife and life. No doubt he shall pay a supreme price for such. Most regrettably, so shall the children. You may all sit around on your soft bums, "discussing the philisophical aspects of trust" all you like, but there are indeed boundries, and this crosses those boundries. It is simply wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted May 13, 2006 Report Share Posted May 13, 2006 >>No doubt, it was the "trust" this man had in his wife which led to his losing control of his home, wife and life. No doubt he shall pay a supreme price for such. << Yep. That is the risk you take when you give your wife a long leash. Or let her completely off the leash. And vice versa since husband's might stray also. Hence the reason to choose your spouse only after long and thorough insight about her/him is attained. ALSO. Traditionally the status (or quality) of family of a potential spouse was EXTREMELY important when deciding on a marriage. Ignore the signs staring out at you from the family at your own risk. Today in the west we don't look so closely at our mate's family before marrying, instead thinking that a person should be judged on their individual merits. It seems that the husband inn this thread failed to learn about the family (and therefore did not learn the true nature of his wife) and now he pays. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted May 13, 2006 Report Share Posted May 13, 2006 OH: I've given some thought to your question about what this guy should do. I say he leaves now. Yeah i know what about the kids. But what about the husband? He made errors letting the family get their hooks into his life, and now his wife treats him with contempt. Doesn't mean he has to pay forevermore. If he continues to stay under those circumstyances he will start to hate himself and his kids will end up spitting on him someday. He needs to bail out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted May 13, 2006 Report Share Posted May 13, 2006 OK, agreed, but what about the kids? where will they go? who will raise them while he works...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted May 13, 2006 Report Share Posted May 13, 2006 Huh? I was assuming the kids are staying with the thai family and he would have to fight to just get visitation. If he has some way of getting the kids for himself then he should do so. Don't know what kind of work/pay he has, but he could hire a babysitter for a few thousand baht. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted May 13, 2006 Report Share Posted May 13, 2006 I don't think he can get the kids, hence my advice to just bail and get on with his life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bangkoktraveler Posted May 13, 2006 Report Share Posted May 13, 2006 He fucked up. Should he still continue to fuck up? Wake up. Get some help. Get some legal advice. I find it hard to believe if she has been doing all the things it appears she has been doing, he hasn't said anything to here. He could be part of the blame for allowing her to do as she dame pleases. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AF16 Posted May 14, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2006 Old Hippie said:O.k. All philosphizing aside, what would you do? Interestingly, no onehas said how they would handle this situation... Sometimes it isn't about an insecurity, it is about quesioning/losing the trust you have, because of someones sudden change in behavior. Here is a senario...wife has been great for 5 years. You have 2 kids with her, she has one from "before." You met her in a bar where she was dancing/working whatever... All is perfect until her 2 sisters show up, (they are staying in YOUR home) specifically to work night life...she sudden turns and starts acting more and more like them, her attitude changes etc...you ask her not to dress as sexy when she goes out at night, you ask her NOT to hang around Nana Disco or Soi 7 Beer Garden with her working hooker sisters and their friends...you tell her you want her sisters out! She laughs and says don't worry, and goes anyway, and the sisters stay...now all Philisophical BS about love, trust respect etc... aside, how do you deal with this situation? What would you and others do? Your wife has suddenly changed! (or has she just become more overt?) discuss... The first thing to do is to talk together. Explain how you feel and get a feeling for how she feels. Even here it's not uncommon for women to get tired of a relationship, start hitting the town and find a new flame. You can try doing something about your marriage, or accept it's over. If my wife suddenly changed, or relationship went south, she went out partying _ all the time _, not taking care of our relationship nor the child, it would be time to take a talk. Then we would have to find out if there is a way where we both could end up happy in a relationship or if it's time to end it. What I try to tell is that you work thing out and do not deal with threats and controlling of others behavior. Now it's a fine line between saying either you stop going out or I ... and ... look here, things are not working out anymore, you have changed and are out partying to much, I think I want to end the relationship, but there is a line. In the first you want to controll you wife in the other you decide what you want to do with your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
limbo Posted May 14, 2006 Report Share Posted May 14, 2006 OH, Are they legally married or just married for Buddah? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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