soongmak Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Mailuk made an interesting observation that could make for an interesting discussion: Most of the BGs need a guy willing to take control of her. Most farang don't want a project and when deciding to convert a BG to a GF seem to think that she is NOT a project. Combine that with the farang's idea that "controlling" a girl is wrong and the rt fails. Loosen up the reigns too much and the horse will go its own direction. Not good if you are trying to get somewhere. Is it true? Do you need to control a BG when taking her out of the bar? Is transforming her into a GF a project? Do we farangs give the girls too much room and is that the reason why so many relationships with BGs fail? What are your views and experiences on the matter? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 You can only get a girl out of the bar, if *SHE* really wants to get out. In which case, she is in control, but may need a bit of help and guidence. Taking the bar out of the girl may be another story. But, if the bar never really got into her, then maybe no problem. In anyevent, it can and has been done. I think the guys who fail at it, are the guys forcing her to make the change, when she isn't ready. I'll repeat, it will only happen if *SHE* wants it to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AF16 Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Depending on your definition of project I guess, but in essense most relationships are a project. What I do not agree with is that you _ have _ to take controll of her. First of all I agree with OH that she would have to want to get out of the Bar, this is not something you controll or not controll. It's her choice. Seccondly I think that BG like all others are made of diffrent molds. Some prefer to be led some like to lead, some are strong minded some are not. What I do agree with is that many might have a behavioral pattern of playing diffrent horses at the same time to increase earning and hedging thier bet. You could try to control her or make her trust and respect you. I think for very frew controll equals trust and respect, and those who do is not for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Point 1..why would you want to take a girl out of a bar? By the very nature of the job she is liable to be severely fucked up. Point 2...seeking to change someone is doomed to failure, unless you seek to destroy their self esteem and confidence, thereby reducing them to a crippled shadow of their former selves. If you love someone, you love because of who they are, not what you can make them into. Calling something a project, reduces a person into a thing, a thing is less then human....what you have discribed is abuse. People only change because they recognise they need to...making someone change via manipulation and coercion is the very definition of abuse and such an individual should not be allowed to have a relationship. A man does not have power or a superior position over a female. We are equal. Sure, i'm aware people have faults, but if you can't accept them, then don't have the relationship. Point 3...I'm troubled by the suggestion of freedom being an issue. Freedom is a basic human right, it is not given or taken. It just is. If you think your 'gal' is the type to go a wandering, if given RESPONSIBILITY then why are you with her? Real stupid choice. I'm sure you will disagree with my points. I don't care. Just stating what i know to be true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Why the hostility? I think we are in agreement her. I said it was her issue to have contol of her life, no one else. I emphasized it as her exercising her free will to decide when and if SHE will leave the bar. And BTW, yes, Freedom is a basic human right, but plenty of people and things can give it or take it away, vulgar as that is, it is true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristianTroy Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 It is not a project, that sounds freaking low. As much Mai Luk is right that girls want a man that has the pants on, noone wants to be controlled or even remote controlled. I guess the right terms would be, like Old Hipped said: If she wants out and if she wants to change you can be there to show her HOW TO DO (if you know) Here is the next problem, some guys dont know how to manage their onw shit, now they claim they show their lady the way out of misery, that is just silly! I mean for christ sake, goe to the go go bars and look at the guys and not at the girls, 90% if these people are drooling over some girls in thongs, this guy knows the way out? Haha! Another problem is that so many guys think they possess a girl when they sponsor her, wrong, they sponsor her in order to be her boyfriend. period The same issues as in the real world apply after your "donation". A guys is not draaging a girl out, she is doing it with his support because she really wants it and she trusts his words. Now how many times does that happen? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Why the hostility? I think we are in agreement her. I said it was her issue to have contol of her life, no one else. I emphasized it as her exercising her free will to decide when and if SHE will leave the bar. And BTW, yes, Freedom is a basic human right, but plenty of people and things can give it or take it away, vulgar as that is, it is true. Sorry dude, i wasn't directing this at you. I just tagged a reply on the end and the quick reply uses the last name. It was directed to the OP.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 OK no worry, that did cross my limited mind Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AF16 Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Point 1..why would you want to take a girl out of a bar? By the very nature of the job she is liable to be severely fucked up. Point 2...seeking to change someone is doomed to failure, unless you seek to destroy their self esteem and confidence, thereby reducing them to a crippled shadow of their former selves. Sound like a very professional oppinions. The diagnoses 'severly fucked up' is common amongst professionals, and to change is to destroy .... all to well known in the world of ting tong doctoring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanddawg1 Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Optimistically speaking I think you might be able to mold a BG into a decent GF depending on the girl, some of them are very sweet girls. The chances are slim though according to all the other threads on this subject. In order to work both people would have to change their lifestyles drastically; she would have to stop being a whore and he would have to stop being a whore chaser. S1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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