Guest lazyphil Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 <> This should be the default tagline for all posters, how about it KS? :smirk: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lazyphil Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 the last project i had was trying to build a plastic airfix model spitfire when i was 11 years old, i gave up on projects ever since that failure! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palad_khik Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Point 3...I'm troubled by the suggestion of freedom being an issue. Freedom is a basic human right, it is not given or taken. It just is. If you think your 'gal' is the type to go a wandering, if given RESPONSIBILITY then why are you with her? Real stupid choice. Oh my, if the world were only so black and white. Well, it simply is not.... Freedom is indeed a basic human right, the only trouble is it's in a perennial state of encroachment. What freedom really is is a boundary line. And freedom in this case would equate to power in a relationship. Of the couples you know in this world, how many are in a relationship where the power is at a point of stasis? Okay, now, assumming you do know of any, how many years did it take to reach that point? As for myself, I know of far too many hen-pecked hubbies, frigidaire wives, and economically opportunistic and stalemated co-habitants to think it otherwise. However, I did agree with you on your points 1 and 2. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Control does not mean a control freak who is on top of his partner on every issue and every minute. That is pathological. Control means forcing the important issues without giving her the opportunity to avoid or reject what you want. For example. Lets say you took a girl out of the bar and one day you want to see her phone. (This is not rorian's situation his rt is different) So you ask her to see her phone and she says no and argument ensues. Fuck that. Don't ask for anything. Just take her phone and look at it. This may sound harsh. Our western minds might think about privacy and her rights to freedom and the geneva conventions etc. Here is the thing. How many times have i seen on this board expats laughing about all the sponsored girls (whether sponsored by overseas guys or by expats) that they are fucking. Sometimes paying a discounted rate because the girl has so much baht already. Personally, I cannot even count the number of girls who have told me about their boyfriend who "take care me" as we walk hand in hand to some short time hotel. The fact is if you give these girls the freedom to make their own decisions, or if you stand around thinking that she has to want this and if she does she will do the right thing, you are kidding yourself. Even if she wants to do the right thing, she is still going to fuck up if her "boyfriend" gives her to long of a leash. All you are doing by not looking at her phone, or by not insisting that she be at a certain place at certain times, or that she not go out with her friends to nana disco (lol), you are to blame when she fucks up. Yes you heard me. Its your own fucking fault for letting the girl's weaknesses prevent her from getting out of the p4p scene. So if you are not willing to be in control of your girl, then you better follow zombie's advice and not take a girl out of the bar. BGs are to "fucked up" for you. But if you want to have a BG for a GF because you fell in love with her or whatever, then stand up and do whatever it takes to FORCE the change on her. Anything less and you are just another loser boyfriend (in her view) in a long line of loser boyfriends who "not really help me just angry me all the time so i finish him." If i don't say this i'll catch hell. Some girls are genuinely looking for a decent farang husband and they don't need to be controlled. They are ready to be a good wife for someone. My post applies to the rest of the girls (as in the majority). And some girls CANNOT be controlled period. My advice above is not meant to imply that it will always work. You will still have a high failure rate. But if you think you are going to make a BG relatinship work by being Mr Nice Guy, there are a million BGs in the LOS waiting for you to arrive so they can eat your lunch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Don't forget that YOU know what is good for her. Yes that is a hell of an assumption. You are the one with the education and money and maturity, not her. And you better be right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 A man does not have power or a superior position over a female. We are equal. If u believe this to be true then u are very deluded. Human history defeats ur statement irrefutably. Those are just ideals and concepts that have been accepted and practiced recently in modern day or what is considered "enlightened" society. Heck up until the 20th century in America it was perfectly acceptable for a husband to punish his wife by beating her. There may have been laws against domestic violence but it was very difficult to get a judge to rule against a fellow unless it was life threatening, simply because the courts did not like to interfere in what was considered the "private affairs" of marriage. Even though u wish it to be or convinced yourelf of such men and women are not equal. That is a fact on many levels. Equality may be the goal but humans are not there yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Assuming we are not talking extreme profiles on both the punters and hookers case. Absolutely yes, doing a conversion is a project because of the significant amount of resouces in time, money, patience, wisdom and emotion invested. As one who has helped to get a couple of BG's out of the game, I can say that you do have to exercise a certain amount of control over the situation. I compare it pretty much to a parental situation. Your not equals and u hold the means to control many areas and the responsibility to improve a life. You have to recognize where their promise and potentil lie and help them to realize it. Farangs fail on many levels with these BG to normal girl lifestyle conversions simply because they approach the situation as they would a relationship with someone who they consider to be a mature adult, an equal or they attempt to control through finances alone. They don't have an insight into certain aspects(particularly relationships)of Thai society. Which is even more pronounced if all they do is hang in the bar scene. They lack patience or are too immersed in their own selfish needs which don't allow them to appreciate those of the BG. They don't understand that u have to strategically reward certain behavior, punish certain behavior and overlook certain behavior. You have to understand that there will be numerous times of 1 step forward and 2 steps back. If u want to turn a BG then u have to get an emotional influence mechanism. Money only gets u in the game but it does not control the game. Emotions control the game the same as it does with children. Why do u think families that live off of a chick's pussy have the influence they do? Why do u think hookers hand over their money to pimps? It's all in the emotions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Freedom is a basic human right, it is not given or taken. It just is. I challenge that statement and premise on every level. Nice rhetorical concept but completely false. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Challenge away, i'll still be right. Sure it's theoretical but it's right. Yes i know the real world is all messy and complicated, but i strive for something better....ahhhh a blessed idealist....we are a dying breed in this cynical convoluted world....please let me have my dreams......it harms no one........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 "...As one who has helped to get a couple of BG's out of the game, I can say that you do have to exercise a certain amount of control over the situation...." Ok, but who's idea was it for her to leave? Hers or yours? To me, that is the key element, a desire to change at some level must be present. Once that is set, then the rest may well be true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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