Old Hippie Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Challenge away, i'll still be right. Sure it's theoretical but it's right. Yes i know the real world is all messy and complicated, but i strive for something better....ahhhh a blessed idealist....we are a dying breed in this cynical convoluted world....please let me have my dreams......it harms no one........ I would agree with you philisophically, but as I popinted out earlier, any one of a multitude of forces can take away freedom(s). I would in fact argue that many (evil) people consider your freedoms to be dangerous threats to their own way of life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 "...Control means forcing the important issues without giving her the opportunity to avoid or reject what you want..." O.k. but remember one major conflict with this, her idea of an important issue, and your idea of one, may well be 180 degrees apart. Now who is right? "...For example. Lets say you took a girl out of the bar and one day you want to see her phone. (This is not rorian's situation his rt is different) So you ask her to see her phone and she says no and argument ensues. Fuck that. Don't ask for anything. Just take her phone and look at it..." OK, this goes back to trust. If you are having to check her phone for the truth, then why are you with her? You either trust her or you don't. She can fix the phone so it leaves no evidence, then what? she may well be up to something, but she now has the upper hand... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bangkoktraveler Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Of all the projects one could undertake, this project of getting a BG out of a bar might be the hardest! When in farang land, would you ever think of trying to get a prostitute to stop what she is doing? Probably not. At least I would not. And who should be undertaking such a task? People who patronize prostitutes or parties who have no biased interests? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topcatta Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 As Zombie said Freedom just is. Freedom is there but you might think it is not so there goes your freedom out the door. And yes " many (evil) people consider your freedoms to be dangerous threats to their own way of life". I know that very well as a vegan, Yogi and health freak who is on top of that also a sexual being, I get ppl projecting (am I using the right word Zomba?)a lot of stuff on me. They are wrapped up in their mediocre lifestyle with sickness in their bodies and deep down they know they could have or should have done something so they could live that free life with lots of travelling, in a healthy body. They cant stand it so they hate you for it. No matter that I dont push my way of life in their face. I really dont give a shit when others eat meat or are not busy with the spiritual. Punters get the same projections; jealousy covered up by (passive)aggression. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topcatta Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Is their also a way in that trust can grow instead of being there or not? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Is their also a way in that trust can grow instead of being there or not? To me, no. It is either there or not. If there, then yes, it can grow. If, one of the parties is seriously fucked up (like say me for example) then yes, the person may have to earn my/the other person's trust, but usually it is there to start on some level. Of course, sometimes you are just dead wrong, and should have been trusting that person all along. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AF16 Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Control does not mean a control freak who is on top of his partner on every issue and every minute. That is pathological. Control means forcing the important issues without giving her the opportunity to avoid or reject what you want. For example. Lets say you took a girl out of the bar and one day you want to see her phone. (This is not rorian's situation his rt is different) So you ask her to see her phone and she says no and argument ensues. Fuck that. Don't ask for anything. Just take her phone and look at it. My wife would leave in a heartbeat if I treated her like that No you don't take the telephone with force. However if you feel something is wrong you are free to say so and if you are really sure something are wrong you can decide wether the relationship is worth continuing. The strenght you show when you are firm and willing to take consequenses not by taking a phone when she have said no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AF16 Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Don't forget that YOU know what is good for her. Yes that is a hell of an assumption. You are the one with the education and money and maturity, not her. And you better be right. Education means some knowledge but not that you do the right ting and _ certainly _ not that you know what is best for others. You are not in a position to decide what is best for others it's a subjective matter. If you think and act like you do you eiher need a timid wife ornyou will have an ex wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanddawg1 Posted July 31, 2006 Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 T Yes I believe trust can be built over time; but once trust is broken after it has been obtained or partially obtained I find it almost impossible to reestablish. I like the truth upfront, my analogy: I would rather have a knife in the heart rather than die slowly from a nick on the finger (infection). Naturally this only applies to people you care about. MHO S1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BKKanalist Posted July 31, 2006 Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 If you really want to sponsor a girl the chance of it working out with a massage girl is much higher than a bar girl. They don't learn the scams and many are very happy to not have to do four, five or six guys a day. Girls from bars learn a different life style and the scam-the-stupid-falang-idiot is a big part of that culture. For some reason I don't understand the Thai husband/BF does not seem so upset by his wife/GF ripping off falang. Servicing Thai guys on an assembly line basis is where they seem to draw the line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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