drogon Posted September 2, 2006 Report Share Posted September 2, 2006 To quote my lady: "I dont mind what people think about us as long as we are happy together" And so do I, even if I feel that I sometimes care more about face than her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
playtheblues Posted September 2, 2006 Report Share Posted September 2, 2006 Yes, Mai Luk, a certain level of higher culture, helps the understanding of the universality of the human individual. High culture invented the human ( I said high culture, not high education) Your village guy is certainly culturally handicapped But so are most westerners of the younger generations who may well be highly educated but lack what the Germans call "Bildung". Aware that I sound like an old twat. Which is exactly what I am, by the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YimSiam Posted September 2, 2006 Report Share Posted September 2, 2006 Is that the whole quote from your lady? I think she left the latter half unspoken: ".... and we'll be happy together as long as people think good things about us!" I'm not smart enough today to put my thoughts in order, but panadolsandwich comes closest - I happen to agree with descriptions of Thai society that are similar to this hierarchy-list approach, and my conclusion is like panadol's: "if this is the way it is, then no thank you!" Of course there may be (millions of) exceptions, and drogon and zombienation might be enjoying two of them, but general cultural rules do have some impact - certainly I might fall in love with an individual Saudi woman and live happily ever after, but do I want to be part of Saudi society? No fucking way! Maybe same-same Thailand - nice to enjoy the smiles, maybe nice to have a girl love me, but the overall priorities are not my own and I wouldn't want to try to find my place in that hierarchy, either in relation to one individual (an unexceptional TG) or in relation to the whole society. I found Inside Thai Society by Neils Mulder and Materialising Thailand by Penny Van Esterik both worth reading, if you're interested - maybe they're completely wrong and the truth is that everyone around the world is the same deep down (and that deep-down similarity happens to be in line with dominant western ideas about love and society...), but if they're not wrong, and if Thailand does have a different set of hierarchies and loyalties and social rules, then it can at least be interesting to read about some of the possible differences, and the authors' attempts to explain them. Two quick thoughts on Drogon and Zombienation's comments: - A girl who is working in a bar may already be well out of normal Thai social norms, kind of an out-caste, and so the hierarchy would not necessarily apply to her in the same way it applies to 'normal' Thais still embraced by Thai society (not that all bar girls are out-caste, just a possibility). A GTG who has a serious relationship with a farang may also be somehow similarly outside the rules, as well. - One reason so few farangs have relationships with Thai girls might be that Thai relationships can be so different - I've had a couple, and I found them thoroughly dissatisfying, but maybe that was just because of the girls I chose. Sorry for rambling on, with little to say! YimSiam, forever on the outside looking in! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 3, 2006 Report Share Posted September 3, 2006 YS, i agree with your points, my experience of BGs is that saying family comes first is code for....'i don't love you that much, its about money, stupid'. My 'normal' relationship is hindered by Thai social etiquette, but on the whole we have a relationship that is no different to many of the western ones i've experienced. I think deep deep down all is the same....culture is after all an invented set of rules around behaviour that is supposed to serve some purpose or other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lembeh Posted September 3, 2006 Report Share Posted September 3, 2006 >I find them PROFOUNDLY SUPERFICIAL Hmm. Let see. "Profound" means basically "deep" and "superficial" means basically "not deep". Looks to me like you are a bit confused here. -j- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nervous_Dog Posted September 3, 2006 Report Share Posted September 3, 2006 I've been a bit strapped lately, first people to come and help me financially, with small amounts greatfully accepted was the family. DOG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted September 3, 2006 Report Share Posted September 3, 2006 I agree with your post 100%....and that's from experience....i am circle 1...if i wasn't then there would be no relationship happening...sure the family thing is important but so am i! My GF places me above all others, as shown by her actions, i do likewise. End of. Again i'm reminded that most farang do not ever experience a relationship with a 'normal' thai lady....why do they settle for less???? Zombie, Not to piss on your paradise, but how do you really know you are in Circle 1? This could be the "deception" the original poster is talking about. Chillers, Yes, I have more less said the same, and been flamed, guys can believe what they want, but as I always say *EXCEPTIONS EXIST!!" So nothing is absolute, as long as we say this is generel, then I guess o.k. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted September 3, 2006 Report Share Posted September 3, 2006 I've been a bit strapped lately, first people to come and help me financially, with small amounts greatfully accepted was the family. DOG Dog, I am here for you baby, you looking for short time or long? Sick cows? I can help, even if you aren't from Si Saket! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 3, 2006 Report Share Posted September 3, 2006 I agree with your post 100%....and that's from experience....i am circle 1...if i wasn't then there would be no relationship happening...sure the family thing is important but so am i! My GF places me above all others' date=' as shown by her actions, i do likewise. End of. Again i'm reminded that most farang do not ever experience a relationship with a 'normal' thai lady....why do they settle for less???? [/quote'] Zombie, Not to piss on your paradise, but how do you really know you are in Circle 1? This could be the "deception" the original poster is talking about. As i have said, by her actions...i'm not stupid, have a lot of experience of relationships and errrrr, i'm a shrink, so when people lie, i know it...working with and treating high profile offenders tends to teach you a lot...if you don't learn, you cannot do that kind of work...finally, people like to think they are all deep and complicated, but they are not...ever seen Derren Brown, a psychologist? If not check out what he does, you will soon realise how simple and basic most people are... Tip, which you should already know...but if not...always look for changes in behaviour, inconsistancy...deviations...interpreting them accurately is the key, which only comes with experience, but a golden rule of all people is that no one is actually that good at lying, they only think they are...it always comes out in their behaviour elsewhere...it's unavoidable.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted September 5, 2006 Report Share Posted September 5, 2006 OK. Thanks for the lesson I have noticed many times that TGs I've known have been very poor liars, usually a behaviour change or a facial gesture etc is a tip off. Though I think a person can be deceived if they "want to believe" the lie they are told. I would add to my previous crap, that we should be fair to the girls/Thais as well. After all, farangs come and go in many cases, family stays family. Seems only natural they would put family first before husbands (especially farang ones.) Oddly, many Thai women I know will still consider their kids father(s)(Thai) as "same like family" even years after he fucked them over and fucked off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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