The long, long time

[panadolsandwich]

Why don't you try something novel, like honesty?

 

Obvious I know. As some other posters have commented.

 

It would go something like this - 'Sweetheart, I know you and I have no future, you being a BG don't you know. Given that, I'd like to butterfly in order to forget about you before I have to leave - ideally with your friends that I've been getting along with so well.'

 

Truth be told. I don't think so.

[Dumsoda]

We all fantasise about those nice, neat temporary relationships, mutually benificial, passionate but pragmatic, at the terminas a quick goodby; both parties going on their way, fulfilled and content, just like dogs and cats and almost every other organism on this planet.

 

Unfortunatley, we humans got saddled with "feelings" stealthily invading our emotional hard-drives despite all our carefully planned precautions. In the day to day of even the most casual of co-habitations; the sharing of bodies, dreams, cares and concerns, trust and tenderness, a residue of emotion is built that cannot be bypassed. We are hardwired for it to hurt when a parting looms, that is the most fundamental glue that has structured the human race, the pain of separation, and no amount of rationalization can anesthetisize it.

 

We play, we pay; one way or another.

 

dddave.....you talkin' to me...boy...lol...

 

Again your skillful pen cuts deeper than most swords.... and so close to the bone with this little gem !!!

 

Almost brought a tear to my eye....but "Real" men don't cry...especially in Public

 

Your words are so true, my friend

 

[panadolsandwich]

It seems as if you are searching for some way to make the split without paying the emotional check-bin.

 

We all fantasise about those nice, neat temporary relationships, mutually benificial, passionate but pragmatic, at the terminas a quick goodby; both parties going on their way, fulfilled and content, just like dogs and cats and almost every other organism on this planet.

 

Unfortunatley, we humans got saddled with "feelings" stealthily invading our emotional hard-drives despite all our carefully planned precautions. In the day to day of even the most casual of co-habitations; the sharing of bodies, dreams, cares and concerns, trust and tenderness, a residue of emotion is built that cannot be bypassed. We are hardwired for it to hurt when a parting looms, that is the most fundamental glue that has structured the human race, the pain of separation, and no amount of rationalization can anesthetisize it.

 

Accept the fact that it is going to hurt and get a little messy.

 

We play, we pay; one way or another.

 

The advise I was looking for. Somehow or other, this is going to hurt. It sucks, but yes I am trying to avoid the inevitable emotional check bin.

 

Also, reading back through my posts, I've realised I come off largely as an insensitive prick - which is partly true I suppose. Still I wouldn't be here asking for advise if I didn't care about her.

 

The ideal is that both parties part amicably. Yes, I know that there is more chance that the moon is really made of green knob cheese than that happening. Still, if only.

[magician]

 

Nah...I think that it can be amicable.

 

I also would just tell her the truth. Or as much of the truth as possible, if that makes sense. I would not say, for example, that there is no future for the two of you because she is a bar girl. I would say, rather, that you are still broken hearted from the break up with your girlfriend in Australia, and that you are just not ready to be in another serious relationship at this time. Tell her that she is a very special lady, but that you are not the right man for her right now. Maybe in the future. But not right now.

 

Be honest. Tell her that you need some time to yourself, that you need to be alone for a little while. There is no need to explain that "a little while" could be as long as a day, or as short as ten minutes.

 

I would be very cautious about pursuing her girlfriends. This could be dangerous.

 

Just maintain cordial relations with them....never talk badly about the girl....show some class. They will remember. When you return, they will remember you as a gentleman, and enough time will have passed that it will probably be ok for you to spend some time with one of them.

 

There are a lot of girls in Bangkok, and there are a lot of places to hang out. Find some new places. Make a break with your old patterns, your old hangouts. Find new girls.

 

But be strong during the break up. Do not get into an extended discussion about it. Remember that the girl is not just a woman, (and she hence has a huge advantage over you in terms of managing relationships), she is a bar girl. Her profession is taking money from men. Some of them get very, very good at it.

 

Just keep the message simple. You want to spend some time alone. You are still broken hearted. You need to be by yourself.

 

This is workable, because it is not as though you are looking to replace her immediately (as far as she knows). You are not casting her adrift because she is too old, or not pretty enough, or whatever. It has nothing to do with her, really. It all has to do with you, and with your heart.

 

It is tough for them to dispute with this line of argument. You are broken hearted. You need some time alone. Simple.

 

Right?

 

[panadolsandwich]

Nah...I think that it can be amicable.

 

I also would just tell her the truth. Or as much of the truth as possible, if that makes sense. I would not say, for example, that there is no future for the two of you because she is a bar girl. I would say, rather, that you are still broken hearted from the break up with your girlfriend in Australia, and that you are just not ready to be in another serious relationship at this time. Tell her that she is a very special lady, but that you are not the right man for her right now. Maybe in the future. But not right now.

 

Be honest. Tell her that you need some time to yourself, that you need to be alone for a little while. There is no need to explain that "a little while" could be as long as a day, or as short as ten minutes.

 

I would be very cautious about pursuing her girlfriends. This could be dangerous.

 

Just maintain cordial relations with them....never talk badly about the girl....show some class. They will remember. When you return, they will remember you as a gentleman, and enough time will have passed that it will probably be ok for you to spend some time with one of them.

 

There are a lot of girls in Bangkok, and there are a lot of places to hang out. Find some new places. Make a break with your old patterns, your old hangouts. Find new girls.

 

But be strong during the break up. Do not get into an extended discussion about it. Remember that the girl is not just a woman, (and she hence has a huge advantage over you in terms of managing relationships), she is a bar girl. Her profession is taking money from men. Some of them get very, very good at it.

 

Just keep the message simple. You want to spend some time alone. You are still broken hearted. You need to be by yourself.

 

This is workable, because it is not as though you are looking to replace her immediately (as far as she knows). You are not casting her adrift because she is too old, or not pretty enough, or whatever. It has nothing to do with her, really. It all has to do with you, and with your heart.

 

It is tough for them to dispute with this line of argument. You are broken hearted. You need some time alone. Simple.

 

Right?

 

 

Magician, you are a genius. Not only is this in line with the truth - as it is; it has that simple purity of reasoning that I think I've been seriously lacking lately (too much drink).

 

Thank you very much for taking the time to respond to my post.

 

I want to be honest, but as a man; I suppose I can't communicate very well on that emotional level. Fish out of water so to speak.

[Topcatta]

Well thats what most man are a fish out of water on the emotional level and thats what you gotta learn. (to speak in Magicians words...Simple .) But Mr. Magic Holy Wand sounds pretty right to me. Except it it not clear to me if he says Stay away in total from the girlfriends or maybe later. I think maybe later can be just as dangerous, I would stay away in total.

 

Now i wonder Panadolly do you want her to stay for your last month and you want to go pay thiaw when she is still there? I wonder if that is a good idea and you are better off to butterfly and put her out your door. Make it a clean cut.

 

Of course we dont have to warn you about girls taking your belongings from your flat...?

[ChristianTroy]

So... you kinda like her but you have enough of her for the moment and you would like to start seeing new girls!

 

I hate to agree with shyge, i really do but honesty should work just fine here. You wanna do something "dirty" then you gotta make your hands dirty!

 

It is foolish and ridiculous to be afraid of the mad reaction of hers!

 

You don't love her and you don't wanna hurt her feelings, that is respectful, but you are the customer whos paying for it and you gotta get that fact very present into your head!

 

She will come back whenever you want her to come back! I haven't met a BG yet that wasn't coming back when I wanted it!

 

Here is what CT would say / has said a couple of times:

"I really like you, you are a nice girl and I really want to see you again, but I am not in love with you and I would like to change lady for a while"

 

I am fully aware it sound stupid but at least it is honest! All other freaky unhonest shit you could pull on her will just hinder you to relax and enjoy the new girl, you will be too busy watching over your shoulder!

 

 

[BKKanalist]

CT

 

Well said.

 

Claiming poverty is always best but honesty runs a very close second.

[WorldFun]

Magician & TC might be right, but CT really cut to the chase & it need not be more complicated than that!

[happyfarang2547]

I am a regular of a particular girl whom I have spent weeks with. Every time I ask her if she will do a Lesbian thing she says, "No darling. If you want to change girl, no problem". I enjoy her a lot and I never change. But you might think up some kinky thing you want to try that she wouldnâ??t want to do. She'll be glad for you to "change".