The long, long time

[panadolsandwich]

Wasn't sure where to post this; relationships is my best guess. Sorry it's a bit long, perhaps a two beer post, just to warn you.

 

I came to Bangkok for the first time nearly 5 months ago now; after a nasty breakup with my then girlfriend in Australia. Needless to say I went berserk with whoring and the drink. Sometimes I'd be taking 4 ladies, then later that night go back and get a couple more. You know, that type of thing, etc. etc...

 

After the Australian condoms ran out, I started to discover just how bad the Thai ones are. There I'd be, thrashing about for over half an hour, out of my tree from drink, only to discover at the end the tattered remains of an excuse for a condom dangling off the end of the member. These were times I prayed; unfortunately this happened more than once. I know, stupid.

 

I finally gathered my courage a little over a month ago and went to Bumrungrad and got the full spectrum of STD tests done. The hour wait for the HIV test was unbearable, and when I asked the nurse she said the result was in, but only the Doctor could tell me.

 

You can imagine what was going through my mind. I was lucky though; got the fully clean bill of health across the board.

 

Since that day I went off butterflying. Coincidently I met this BG. We hit it off fairly well, and the long time turned into a few nights; and time seemed to just pass very quickly until she is now fully ensconced in my apartment now for a bit over a month.

 

I know a lot of you will be cringing at this point; particularly in light of the 'How to kick a BG out of your crib' topic.

 

It has been good being with just the one girl. I've got to meet her friends; she does all the cooking, cleaning and laundry now. Sex at least twice a day, which just keeps getting better. In return I keep a steady trickle of cash flowing her way; the occasional small gift and so forth. Restaurants and bar tabs can get a bit expensive though; especially when we have a friend or two in tow.

 

I know the Mamasan ok, buy her drinks, and the bar fine isn't an issue. I pay it only when we've stayed up too late the night before and she can't go to work due to a hangover; or else I'll be treating her and we'll go shopping or a movie etc.

 

The BG *says* she isn't going short-time with any customers - I know all of you will be shaking your heads at this - I don't know if she is or not; I assume she is. I suppose it's the gesture I appreciate, and there might be a slim chance she is telling the truth.

 

She has been working at the bar for one month and a half after getting tired of working at restaurants (this is apparently true). She is three years younger than me (I'm nearly 32). We don't really sweet talk. It's kind of a weird relationship. At times I feel I'm just a very good customer; sometimes I feel like we are a married couple. While I like her very much and care for her; I don't see any form of future relationship - perhaps just barfining her on another trip maybe.

 

I have to leave in about one month. Since it will be back to work as usual for her then, I've kind of been thinking that I might as well get the leaving part of it over and done with before I get stung too much in my heart (although I've been very careful to keep my guard up - as she has too - it appears).

 

That way I can go back to a bit of butterflying and try not to miss her so much when I have to go. The idea of a stipend is unthinkable; as I say, I don't see any future with this girl - although it makes me sad to say that.

 

In this particular situation I think a generous cash gift and accompanying say - 'I love you too much', explanation should do the trick. I don't think ChristianTroy's ploy of pretending to run out of money will do the trick here. I'd still like to see her again, and I'll be burning that bridge the moment I go out whoring again - unfortunately I'm tied to Bangkok for the duration.

 

OK, long post; if you've got this far than any advise or suggestions on how to handle this particular situation with finesse, then I'd certainly appreciate it.

 

Thanks in advance.

[bust]

There's a particular type of guy who goes to LOS who should be forbidden of spending more than two nights with the same girl. I know I am one of them maybe you are too. This relates to my first post, about how I became infatuated with a girl from NEP. The advise I got was to immediately start seeeing another girl. I did, and it worked, made the withdrawals so much easier. But then I fell for the replacement......stayed with her for over a year. I think if you are looking for something a little more permanent with a potential future start looking outside the P4P scene. There is nothing wrong with falling in love, just do it with the right girl. You'll know her when you meet her........I think.

[panadolsandwich]

Thanks for the advise Bust. I know I've got to get out there again and see a few different girls to try and get over this one.

 

In my post I tried to explain my reasons for wanting a girl for a long time - say a month. I think you are right though, I went to the wrong place to find it. The thing is she's got all these extremely cute friends I've been getting along with very well that work in the restaurants.

 

I want to finish amicably with this girl, maybe even get to know one of those other girls better - dare I say without losing a certain appendage!

[shygye]

Why don't you try something novel, like honesty?

[Julian2]

HIV test results in an hour? Medical Science has advanced, I used to have to wait for the second blood test three months down the trsck.

[Dumsoda]

There's a particular type of guy who goes to LOS who should be forbidden of spending more than two nights with the same girl. I know I am one of them maybe you are too.

 

555555555555

Me too, in the early days, then I leart the ropes (or so I thought...lol...)

 

 

I think if you are looking for something a little more permanent with a potential future start looking outside the P4P scene.

 

In general, yes agree, but every now and again the "scene" can produce some real surprises.

 

There is nothing wrong with falling in love, just do it with the right girl. You'll know her when you meet her........I think.

 

Yep, wise words...but don't exclude any options....sometimes the "Perfect" girl can be found in what narrow minded PC "wankers" (not talking about you bust!!!) would term as a less than ideal location.

And agree totally...You'll know it when it happens.

Really, the only thing that can't be changed is history.....just make sure your own head can cope with whatever situation you become involved in.

Cheers DS

 

[Encore]

>The thing is she's got all these extremely cute friends I've been getting along with very well that work in the restaurants.

 

I want to finish amicably with this girl, maybe even get to know one of those other girls better - dare I say without losing a certain appendage! <

 

Forget about THAT one! The chances of disengaging yourself from that 'relation' in an amicable way rae slim. The chances of getting to know one of her entourage after that in an amicable way are Nil IMHO. Would involve too much loss of face for her.

 

A substantial gift togetehr with "I love you too mutt" may get her on her way, but I have my doubts.

 

Makes me suddenly aware how lucky I was a few years ago, when I was looking for similar disengagement, and got the solution offere on a plate.

[Guest]

Honesty dude....only way. It's going to be unpleasant and messy....but it's best if you care about her at all. I recall this scenario happening to me....nasty business...i still feel bad about it, but i'm glad i was honest.

[dddave]

It seems as if you are searching for some way to make the split without paying the emotional check-bin.

 

We all fantasise about those nice, neat temporary relationships, mutually benificial, passionate but pragmatic, at the terminas a quick goodby; both parties going on their way, fulfilled and content, just like dogs and cats and almost every other organism on this planet.

 

Unfortunatley, we humans got saddled with "feelings" stealthily invading our emotional hard-drives despite all our carefully planned precautions. In the day to day of even the most casual of co-habitations; the sharing of bodies, dreams, cares and concerns, trust and tenderness, a residue of emotion is built that cannot be bypassed. We are hardwired for it to hurt when a parting looms, that is the most fundamental glue that has structured the human race, the pain of separation, and no amount of rationalization can anesthetisize it.

 

Accept the fact that it is going to hurt and get a little messy.

 

We play, we pay; one way or another.

[panadolsandwich]

HIV test results in an hour? Medical Science has advanced, I used to have to wait for the second blood test three months down the trsck.

 

I know what you are trying to say - I'm not out of the woods yet, as the very competent doctor explained to me.

 

Of course it's just an initial screening; however the risky activity I described happened over three months ago now - which gives me some peace of mind.

 

Despite that, as the doctor explained, there is a minute possibility that the next test in three months may turn up positive. I try not to live my life worrying about that sort of shit. Just take care of myself better now and hope for the best.

 

I thought it went without saying all the above - for brevity; however it obviously does not - least you don't think so.