BG Behaviour... Seems A Little Odd

[MooNoi]

Let me start this post by back-peddling a bit.

 

Very occaisionally, I venture into a particular gogo in NEP. Its a very busy gogo, Japanese-orientated, and has others in the chain within the complex - i.e. one of the Rainbow bars.

 

About 4 months ago I was in there and saw an absolute stunner dancing. I'm pretty cynical about calling girls "stunners" in gogos, but this girl definitely is. I've asked a couple of mates if they know her, and both instantly did when I told them her number, and agreed that in their opinion too, she's definitely top-shelf material in the looks department, so it's not just me.

 

So on the first night I saw her, having had a few drinks, and then a few more, I called her off the stage to buy an LD and have a chat. I ended up buying her about 3 drinks and talking to her for 45 minutes or so, then bid farewell and moved on.

 

Then about 6 weeks after, I was in there again, and she saw me from the stage and smiled, and came and sat down after the dancers on-stage rotated. I had to meet a friend shortly after, so only had one drink with her and then took off.

 

I had been back in there twice since, and she'd been BF'd both times. I was not interested in BF'ing her, as when I enquired about prices she quoted 3000 ST and 5000 LT. She obviously gets those amounts regularly.

 

Normally I wouldn't waste my time talking to a girl who quoted these prices, but she's entertaining to talk to, and I enjoy her company.

 

So a couple of nights ago I'm sitting at a street-stall in Lower Suk about 2.30 in the morning having a bowl of kway teeow and she comes and sits down opposite me. It took me a while to realise who it was, as it had been quite a while since I'd seen her, and she was also wearing more than bra and knickers, which was new to me too!

 

I tweaked as to who she was before she realised I hadn't, and she had a bowl of soup too and we chatted for about 30 minutes. I was really surprised as she'd remembered a whole lot of things from previous conversations, such as the exact date I went to Pattaya, the job that I do here and when my birthday was. I was sincerely impressed as she must talk to umpteen guys ever day of her working life. She asked me if I'd like to go and see the new James Bond flick on Sunday night with her as it was her night off. I gave her my number and said if she still wanted to go on Sunday, then give me a buzz. She then said she was going home, paid for both bowls of noodles and left.

 

So today I get a phone call in the afternoon asking if I'm still interested in going to see the movie. I said I was and she told me to meet her at Siam Paragon at 8.00pm.

 

I arrived about 10 minutes late, thanks to missing the BTS, (see seperate thread: "Pet Peeves in Thailand" and my addition about Thais who dawdle on escaltors when you can see the train sitting in the platform!)

 

She'd already bought the tickets (VIP Seats) and wouldn't accept my offer of paying for them.

When I went to the toilet, she went off and bought popcorn (DON'T *EVER* get the smoked salmon flavoured popcorn... it sucks), and drinks for us for the movie.

 

There was no hand-holding, canoodling or any physical contact during the movie at all. Nothing when we walked to and from the cinema. It was just like 2 friends having a nice nice out. Completely platonic.

 

After the movie, another bowl of noodle soup on the street and then head our seperate ways home on the BTS.

 

She then asked if I'd like to go bowling with her one night in the next week or so.

 

She's a nice girl, and seems to have her head screwed-on reasonably straight. She knows I live here, speak and read the language, frequent the bar scene enough to know what I'm doing and that I've been with quite a few ladies in my time.

 

While I'm reasonably young, I'm not what you'd call overly handsome, and even though I earn a decent-enough wage here, I definitely don't earn enough to sponsor her monthly in the way that she would be accustomed to or would expect. (When you compare the amount she'd earn a month in the bar, she'd probably require huge sums of baht to keep her occupied every month). So I'm definitely not boyfriend/husband material I wouldn't have thought.

 

So why is she being so "nice" and wanting to hang out? And why is she paying for stuff? It kind of seemed weird that she remembered so many small details about one of our (rare) previous conversations.

 

Maybe, just maybe, if I'd known her in the bar for a long time, bought her scores of LD's over the years and knew her quite well I wouldn't raise an eyebrow if she paid for stuff, or wanted to go out occaisionally.

 

So what's the story? Is there a chance she just likes my company and likes a night out sometimes? If so, why? There's heaps of people much closer to her age-group (24) to hang out with. (I'm 34). Am I being too cynical about BG's and their ulterior motives?

 

I'm not too worried about it one way or the other, as while I think she's a lovely girl and fantastically good-looking, I wouldn't even entertain the idea of being a boyfriend for her. While I would love to go to bed with her, I became resigned to the fact I wouldn't as she told me far too-higher price than what I would pay.

 

I'm just interested in anyone's take on the situation, and why she's wanting to hang-out, and seemingly befriend me, when she's only met me a small handful of times before.

 

What's the story, guys? Am I missing something here?

Moo Noi

[David99UK]

24 - 34? Not (IMO) such a big age difference, especially for someone who seems to have her shit together. (I have also met a few).

 

FWIW, whilst of course it could all be an elaborate scam (I will let others fill in / imagine the details!), I suspect it is not.

 

It is probably a combination of things. Age wise you are a "maybe" for a real relationship. and you are "special" cos' you have differentiated yourself from 99% of her punters, by NOT barfining and also by not trying it on later.

 

It is a combination of things - the fact you speak Thai (makes communication easier), know your way around the bar scene (she doesn't have to lie about her lifestyle and that you enjoy her company despite her job), are not a Tourist and have a respectable job in Thailand and as a Farang have "prospects" (so it is not a complete waste of time being nice to you, even if she is not actaully after anything).

 

The fact that she has deliberately kept money out of the equation is probably because she wants the relationship (Platonic or otherwise) to be between equals - like anyone doing a job 24/7, it does get boring / tiresome selling the GFE. Probably she just feels relaxed in your company, especially as even if she does have a Thai B/f or husband (In addition to the usual punters on a string), I am sure she cannot say everything to Somchai........

 

I can't say I have been involved in anything quite like this, but during my (formally) extended stays in Thailand I found one of the benefits of "only being here for the beer" (well, mainly!) meant that I got to know to some degree or another a few gals who I never slept with, but I still always had time for / were a soft touch for drinks / was someone for them to chat to when things were not busy / to hide behind when they didn't fancy a punter / couldn't be bothered working, but still needed to look busy! Strange relationships for sure, and always going nowhere - but they are the gals whose names I tend to remember. (hey, it wasn't always the beer!)

 

Obviously I got queried on why I was being nice to them when I clearly knew the game and that I didn't have to, especially as I wasn't interested in f#cking them but still spent time with them (ok, mainly in the bar, but a few trips out and about, not all of them at my expense - mainly, but not all!) - my answer was "because I like you". Had a tendency to confuse the crap out of them at first! - but IMO I do think they were chuffed that someone liked them (for more than the 2/3 holes they were selling), especially someone who they knew could "just" start f#cking them up the bum as a part of bizness relationship, but didn't.

 

What I am trying to say (in my usual long winded way!) is that inside every BG is a real person who has "normal" needs and likes "Normal" things......and they enjoy folk treating them as "normal".

 

IMO just roll with it.

 

And besides, she probably looks on you as a well earned rest after p#ssing and sh#tting on half a dozen of our Japanese freinds every day.

 

:grin:

 

 

[belfastish]

i think im in love with her and i havent even seen her!!

i dont know thai girls well enough to say but she has a good way of trying to get a husband cause she sounds cool and nice!!

[Topcatta]

David that sums it up pretty good. Age difference of 10 years is not much. Maybe she wants protection. Hooking is not the most safe profession and if you can provide that to her that is a big deal. Even if that is a night out once in a while. It can also be to balance out her view on men which tend to be negative cause she is selling sex and thus her body. Fucking guys for money and pretending the client is IT, must take a lot of energy. The fact you didnt jump on her, can make her feel at ease. Also she probably is in a situation that others always pay her way, for an independant woman this tends to bent her ego and to straigthen that out she pays.

[Guest]

Take it slow...go on many dates, do your thing......this has happened to me several times, but i didn't follow it up, for a variety of reasons...

 

Maybe, just maybe, she likes you for who you are....it happens...and logic does not apply to this stuff...

 

Enjoy...take it real slow......

[WorldFun]

don't really see whats the problem here apart from that you don't think you can afford being in any kind of RT with her!

 

well in that case ther's only the friendship or gik options left so take your choice

[shygye]

You think too much! :bangit:

[liquidflux]

Might as well go along for the ride. If you enjoy her company, why not? She seems to enjoy yours. Like shygye says, just don't think too much.

 

You may get to the point where she starts asking really good questions like "So, when are we going to f%*k?"

 

Take a lesson from the BG's and milk it like a cow! (or buffalo)

[OCgringo]

I think you have the time if you live there to just play it out , no rush ,

 

but let us know how it works out

We have dreams too :)

 

Ohh does she have a sister.....

 

OC

[MooNoi]

Thanks guys (and 'Catta) for the responses. Some interesting reading there - especially from David.

 

Yes, OC... I do think too much sometimes! But I like it that way. I was introduced to the scene at 24, and now that I've lived here 4 years, I find it interesting when something out-of-the-blue happens like this. Its why we all keep going back time-after-time I guess. You just never know what's going to happen next.

 

I was just wondering... Do you think that the fact that I've told her (respectfully) that I would NEVER have a relationship with someone who works in the scene (and again, respectfully explained why), makes her see me as a challenge? Not that she necessarily wants a relationship with me, but maybe she wants to convince me that somehow not all girls in the scene are bad eggs. (I do know that, I just don't want to ever take a risk that I've picked the wrong one!)