ThaiHome Posted December 19, 2006 Report Share Posted December 19, 2006 Very good points. The example most women see is the woman is insecure and is prepared to grill the husband, she in unprepared to be grill. Nevertheless, in strong stable relationship, which if you have known hundreds of non-BG's, you have no knowledge of, neither partner is expected to pose questions on the emotional level of the other. You are, as they do, expected to read the signs. I, of course, wait for the great Stickman to participate at any moment and question why we have conform to Thai cultural norms and the woman be damned, as he as stated before on many occasions in his vaunted, now gone weekly. TH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaiHome Posted December 19, 2006 Report Share Posted December 19, 2006 TH , finally , a word of wisdom . Oh come on. couldn't you have said its been awhile? TH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted December 19, 2006 Report Share Posted December 19, 2006 I love asking them questions...you know you have them backed into a corner when they grab their heads' date=' say they think "too mut" and have a headache...or/and try to change the subject...only to go on lieing...[/quote'] You may enjoy it, but what about her? I think one the things is that really strains a Thai-Farang relationship is the constant questioning by the farang of the thai. How do you feel, do you really love me, what did you did you do last night, what do you think, etc, etc. If you have ever had the opportunity to observe a thai-thai relationship you will see none of that. So the Thai is unused to this western style constant questioning, just as we are unused to what appears to us as not caring or apathy, when in fact there is much non-verbal and oblique communications going on. It takes a while and a lot of effort by both parties to come to terms with this cultural difference, and get past it. Jest my working class, uneducated two cents worth. TH Indeed, however, this isn't the whole picture either...my hiso GF often grills me with questions, wanting to know everything i did, with whom, when, how and why? My GF is certainly not unique...i've experienced this from every Thai lady i've been involved with, which is a fair few now... One of the factors you didn't mention is that Thai society has been male dominated, so men didn't feel insecurity due to their position of power/control, which they have thoroughly abused. This still continues. I cannot count the times a Thai lady i know (none of which are BGs, i know hundreds btw) has complained about her boyfriend or husband or had a broken heart as he's gone off with another lady. It happens all the time...Thai men don't experience insecurity as men do from the west, as they feel in control. Men in the west are threatened by western womens equality of power and choice. Their several thousand year old position of dominance is gone and they are having a hard time adjusting to it... So, sure you don't see Thai men asking lots of questions (why would they?), but Thai ladies sure do...i know!!!!!!!!! I would further add that Thai men are often quite abusive in relationships, emotionally/psychologically and sometimes further, they can be witholding of emotion and 'love' and use it to control...they also use their earnt money as power...whilst the wives still do the stay at home thing and are effectively dependant. There is a lot more to this then what you have written about. I have tons of evidence to prove my point as well. I see it and hear about it everyday. I am talking about when the trust issues come up here, and she starts with her crap/lies and weak explanations for things...then when you ask a few questions to clarify things, and her story starts to unravel, and she just lies more...keep in mind, it has nothing to do with you/us the farang asking too many questions, it has to do with her lieing to begin with. Same for when we start lieing to them, and they ask more questions...or even if we tell them the truth, they start with 100000 questions to try and prove we are lieing...this is standard in many relationships (I would argue it is trust based, and may show a problem, or in some cases is just par for the course). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted December 19, 2006 Report Share Posted December 19, 2006 "...The reality is, you are older, stable, and you understand Thai ladies far better than most of the other farang males that she encounters in farang-land...." Ah...no, not me! My relationship issues are well documented! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
torrenova Posted December 19, 2006 Report Share Posted December 19, 2006 Sounds dodgy to me. What is the hell bent reason for getting this additional degree ? She'll still never make the college money back so is it just to stay in the USA ? I would beware of being sucked into paying for study which may or may not be legal. I'd see where it goes but would offer no financial assistance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topcatta Posted December 19, 2006 Report Share Posted December 19, 2006 Do not underestimate the power of your conduct, either. Act like you have gravitas, act with dignity, and with decisiveness, in other words, just act like a man, and you will find that a Thai woman is often comforted by this. Men in the Western world are so conditioned to cater to women, who abuse their monopoly on pussy, that they forget how to be men. And I would add that most Farang women forgat how to be Woman. Personality traits that a farang woman would waste no time tearing down often are devastatingly attractive to a Thai woman. Haha, great line. So true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLastMonger Posted December 20, 2006 Author Report Share Posted December 20, 2006 I haven't updated this thread because nothing has happened so far. Went to see Prem 2 nights ago. Old gal Nung was not there and Prem was too busy serving. And my friend and his GF showed up to eat so Prem and I had no real conversation. Nung called me the next day and I was supposed to go last night. I didn't show. Have to not be too interested right? I have no intention of paying $5,000 for her school. If she were a longtime girlfriend I would consider it. I'm certain she will find a way to get the money because she seems set on staying in the US. She may already have it. Someone asked about my money situation. I am skint right now because I am closing down my small business in preparation for a salaried job that was offered. However, Nung is convinced due to my occupation that I am rich. I suspect she is pushing Prem to hook up with me. Will post as soon as I get this sorted with Prem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shygye Posted December 21, 2006 Report Share Posted December 21, 2006 TG vs lonely middle aged farang, TG wins everytime! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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