Dumsoda Posted December 19, 2006 Report Share Posted December 19, 2006 Need a research assistant??? All I need is 150k Bt /mth plus a work permit... (only cos I have to help my friend find 50k to "sponsor" his true love) I will work hard...and ask Lots of Good Questions....jing jing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaiHome Posted December 19, 2006 Report Share Posted December 19, 2006 I love asking them questions...you know you have them backed into a corner when they grab their heads, say they think "too mut" and have a headache...or/and try to change the subject...only to go on lieing... You may enjoy it, but what about her? I think one the things is that really strains a Thai-Farang relationship is the constant questioning by the farang of the thai. How do you feel, do you really love me, what did you did you do last night, what do you think, etc, etc. If you have ever had the opportunity to observe a thai-thai relationship you will see none of that. So the Thai is unused to this western style constant questioning, just as we are unused to what appears to us as not caring or apathy, when in fact there is much non-verbal and oblique communications going on. It takes a while and a lot of effort by both parties to come to terms with this cultural difference, and get past it. Jest my working class, uneducated two cents worth. TH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted December 19, 2006 Report Share Posted December 19, 2006 "...OH, I am not on the goddamn si saket highway.. I fell out of the car a long time ago. Just dizzy and lost now. .." O.k. But you were last seen headed into Surin at full speed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magician Posted December 19, 2006 Report Share Posted December 19, 2006 The reality is, you are older, stable, and you understand Thai ladies far better than most of the other farang males that she encounters in farang-land. True, there are more handsome men, wealthier men, running around. But can these men truly be managed? Usually, not. Thai girls know this. It is one of the reasons that they prefer older men. Not so much because they can control us, but because we need to butterfly less, generally speaking, we are less prone to suddenly bail out of a relationship, and if we are financially sound, it indicates that we have worked hard, we have invested wisely, and we have not wasted our time and our wealth gambling, drinking, and partying around. We are often a good catch, in other words. Thai girls are like women everywhere: they like a piece of candy just like anyone else. But they cannot live on candy. A truly handsome man will have many ladies. They know this. A man who has many ladies is prone to be stolen away from all the other ladies by one who becomes a favorite. For this reason, they will often prefer a man who "looks good," who dresses well, who is well-groomed, who makes a good impression, over one who is objectively handsome. Do not underestimate the power of your conduct, either. Act like you have gravitas, act with dignity, and with decisiveness, in other words, just act like a man, and you will find that a Thai woman is often comforted by this. Men in the Western world are so conditioned to cater to women, who abuse their monopoly on pussy, that they forget how to be men. Above all else, I believe, a Thai woman wants her man to be strong. This girl could be reacting to something that you do not even realize that you do. Personality traits that a farang woman would waste no time tearing down often are devastatingly attractive to a Thai woman. As always, go into this with your eyes open. Risk no more than you can afford, either financially or emotionally. Most of all, remember to look at the situation through her eyes, not just your own. Simply wondering whether you are no more than a mealticket really does not do the question justice. From a farang standpoint, it is the only question. From a standpoint that understands the Thai mentality, it is a small piece, only. The poster ThaiHome has a real clue about these things. I would be interested in hearing more from him. As he advises, you really need to observe her signals, and you need to ensure that you understand her. As he says, there is usually a lot of nonverbal communication going on, and only a guy who has spent time in Thailand, who has learned Thai culture, will be equipped to pick up on much of it. For others....it will zip right past, undetected. You should not assume that because the girl has lived in farang-land that she will react or behave like a farang woman. I wish you much luck. If I were you, I would proceed carefully, in a measured way, I would "show power" in an understated way, I would gradually "take care" of this girl, and help her, and I would exercise much patience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 19, 2006 Report Share Posted December 19, 2006 I love asking them questions...you know you have them backed into a corner when they grab their heads' date=' say they think "too mut" and have a headache...or/and try to change the subject...only to go on lieing...[/quote'] You may enjoy it, but what about her? I think one the things is that really strains a Thai-Farang relationship is the constant questioning by the farang of the thai. How do you feel, do you really love me, what did you did you do last night, what do you think, etc, etc. If you have ever had the opportunity to observe a thai-thai relationship you will see none of that. So the Thai is unused to this western style constant questioning, just as we are unused to what appears to us as not caring or apathy, when in fact there is much non-verbal and oblique communications going on. It takes a while and a lot of effort by both parties to come to terms with this cultural difference, and get past it. Jest my working class, uneducated two cents worth. TH Indeed, however, this isn't the whole picture either...my hiso GF often grills me with questions, wanting to know everything i did, with whom, when, how and why? My GF is certainly not unique...i've experienced this from every Thai lady i've been involved with, which is a fair few now... One of the factors you didn't mention is that Thai society has been male dominated, so men didn't feel insecurity due to their position of power/control, which they have thoroughly abused. This still continues. I cannot count the times a Thai lady i know (none of which are BGs, i know hundreds btw) has complained about her boyfriend or husband or had a broken heart as he's gone off with another lady. It happens all the time...Thai men don't experience insecurity as men do from the west, as they feel in control. Men in the west are threatened by western womens equality of power and choice. Their several thousand year old position of dominance is gone and they are having a hard time adjusting to it... So, sure you don't see Thai men asking lots of questions (why would they?), but Thai ladies sure do...i know!!!!!!!!! I would further add that Thai men are often quite abusive in relationships, emotionally/psychologically and sometimes further, they can be witholding of emotion and 'love' and use it to control...they also use their earnt money as power...whilst the wives still do the stay at home thing and are effectively dependant. There is a lot more to this then what you have written about. I have tons of evidence to prove my point as well. I see it and hear about it everyday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soongmak Posted December 19, 2006 Report Share Posted December 19, 2006 Indeed, however, this isn't the whole picture either...my hiso GF often grills me with questions, wanting to know everything i did, with whom, when, how and why? My GF is certainly not unique...i've experienced this from every Thai lady i've been involved with, which is a fair few now... I have never noticed this myself. My wife doesn't quiz me about my whereabouts, and almost never did, except on (rare) occasions when she was jealous. Are you sure it isn't a trust issue? Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 19, 2006 Report Share Posted December 19, 2006 Yeah, i'm sure it is...for some bizarre reason she thinks i'm handsome...and therefore many other ladies will want to jump my bones...i keep trying to tell her she is sadly deluded and looking like the hunchback of notre dame is not handsome...but i guess she loves me, bless her... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soongmak Posted December 19, 2006 Report Share Posted December 19, 2006 Anybody who is young and presentable seems to be attractive by thai standards, I guess. I don't live in Thailand, and my wife for sure is glad we don't. She suspects I wouldn't be able to be faithful to her, and she is probably right! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buffalo_bill Posted December 19, 2006 Report Share Posted December 19, 2006 [quote name=ThaiHome thai-thai relationship you will see none of that. So the Thai is unused to this western style constant questioning' date=' just as we are unused to what appears to us as not caring or apathy, when in fact there is much non-verbal and oblique communications going on. It takes a while and a lot of effort by both parties to come to terms with this cultural difference, and get past it. TH [/quote] TH , finally , a word of wisdom . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristianTroy Posted December 19, 2006 Report Share Posted December 19, 2006 Yeah, i'm sure it is...for some bizarre reason she thinks i'm handsome...and therefore many other ladies will want to jump my bones... Be happy she comes from a good family and has more confidence than a farm girl that works bar who is just 20yo. This (even when you are a "shrink") can drive you nuts. Whenever a girl looked at me she got angry at me! I loaned some money to a friend that he can stay 1 week longer and she accused me of beeing gay! Jealousy is the most spreaded and strongest and extreme emotion in Thailand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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