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On similar lines, but this is true.   MLG wants to send a small parcel to the USA from NZ. OK Wrap it and we're off to the post office. Post it in Mid December. No tracking, too expensive.   After

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Mr Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker. It was After Eight. They got off at Quality Street. He asked her name. "Polo, I'm the one with the hole" she said with a Wispa. "I'm Marathon, the one with the nuts" he replied. He touched her Creme Eggs and slipped his hand into her Snickers. He fondled her Flap Jacks as she rubbed his Tic Tacs. It was a Fab moment as she screamed in Turkish Delight and he shot his chewy centre. But 3 days later his sherbert dib-dab started to itch. Turns out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Bassett and he's got feckin Allsorts! 

 

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A plane has five passengers on board: Donald Trump, the Pope, Dr. Anthony Fauci, Nancy Pelosi, and a ten year old school girl. The plane is about to crash and there is only four parachutes.
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Dr Fauci, said “I need one, I have to help develop a cure for the global health crisis that is COVID19!” He straps on a parachute and jumps.
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The pope said “I need one, I have to help spiritually guide people through the global health crisis that is COVID19!” He takes one and jumps.
-- Pelosi said ‘‘I need one, I’m the smartest woman in the United States.” she takes one and jumps.
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President Trump pauses for a moment and then turns to the 10-year-old. After a deep sigh, he says tenderly, "You can have the last parachute. I've lived my life, yours is only starting". 
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The child replies, "Don’t worry, there are two parachutes left. The smartest woman in the United States took my school backpack.

 

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