kojis Posted June 10, 2007 Report Share Posted June 10, 2007 "On the other hand, you do have to shut down your sexual instincts, watch your behavior with other women, and make joint decisions about your relationships in general. " You guys have funny conceptions of marriage... how did U figure out you have to shut down your sexual instincts upon getting married?? For BJ's sake... you're gonna be in HKG with quite a comfortable income... nobody expects you to be faithful, likely not even your wife if she's asian although you'd better not discuss the topic with her. I mean... who still has sex with his wife after 1 year, 5 years - or even 10 ? in the US, HKG, or Japan? Look into a solid prenup though, that's always useful. As of the relationship you get with your wife... well... if the deepest you can relate to her is while shopping for vegs at the supermarmet... than you might look for someone more interesting. How you can relate to her or how a pleasant company she is is prolly a more important issue than how much you enjoy the sex. In a french movie I forgot the name, there's a very funny speech from a female character, she's the mistress of the male hero - recently married . it goes like: "we say that a man marries the interesting girl and keeps the hot one as a lover. You really think I'm that dumb ?" Than she starts crying.lol! France and Asia got the marriage thing pretty right, and we don't need to lose half the house and a huge monthly stipend when it falls apart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Munchmaster Posted June 10, 2007 Report Share Posted June 10, 2007 As I think I've said before, I can't afford to get married. Why? Because I can't afford to get divorced. Having said that I have no desire to be married or to have children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartThais Posted June 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2007 Maybe my post was 'standard knee jerk'...but there's a reason why it's the standard, because it's reality. From reading between the lines, you seem someone who is avoiding something, emotional intimacy some might call it, others call it 'love'... from my rather limited understanding, a marriage is about finding someone who compliments you, or even enhances you. I think the major problem is that a lot of folks marry for the wrong reason. You do seem to only see the bad in marriage, maybe you have a reason for that? Anyway, leave the A+ to someone who will love her. It might be reality. More likely it's a reality from another era that you are either too lazy or unwilling to challenge. Anyway, you're wrong. I love falling in love. I think it is possibly the coolest feeling in the world. I'd like to do it as many times as possible in my lifetime. Also, I do love this girl. The easiest thing to do would be to marry this girl, enjoying all the benefits while keeping a mistress as some seem to suggest. Even then she's better off with me than 99% of the people out there. And you Faustian, does your wife know you are fucking hookers? Are you an A+ guy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartThais Posted June 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2007 I mean... who still has sex with his wife after 1 year, 5 years - or even 10 ? in the US, HKG, or Japan? LOL. At least your post seems honest. Believe me, that's why I'm even considering marriage. And while it may be true that asian men may have mistresses, wives rarely do more than barely tolerate it. There's hush money involved meaning if you have a mistress and she kinda knows about it, be prepared for a little cold shoulder and expect to spend lots of money keeping her happy. Nowadays, you'd be hard pressed to find asian women who would tolerate it at all. She's asian but americanized. I doubt she would put up with it. I don't want to ask and yet it would be awful to find out the hard way... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faustian Posted June 10, 2007 Report Share Posted June 10, 2007 Maybe my post was 'standard knee jerk'...but there's a reason why it's the standard' date=' because it's reality. From reading between the lines, you seem someone who is avoiding something, emotional intimacy some might call it, others call it 'love'... from my rather limited understanding, a marriage is about finding someone who compliments you, or even enhances you. I think the major problem is that a lot of folks marry for the wrong reason. You do seem to only see the bad in marriage, maybe you have a reason for that? Anyway, leave the A+ to someone who will love her. [/quote'] It might be reality. More likely it's a reality from another era that you are either too lazy or unwilling to challenge. Anyway, you're wrong. I love falling in love. I think it is possibly the coolest feeling in the world. I'd like to do it as many times as possible in my lifetime. Also, I do love this girl. The easiest thing to do would be to marry this girl, enjoying all the benefits while keeping a mistress as some seem to suggest. Even then she's better off with me than 99% of the people out there. And you Faustian, does your wife know you are fucking hookers? Are you an A+ guy? I'm not married AND i don't fuck hookers AND i'm certainly A+. Oh and you don't love this girl...you don't know what love is, you confuse it with lust and a sense of affiliation....guess again...you prove you have no understanding of love by your constant reference to the importance of the physical. Love is a binding, a sacrifice, a connection, a longing...something far deeper than anything you've made reference to in your previous posts. You 'like' this girl, she checks various boxes for you...that's it. Love is 'warts and all' but you don't want the warts. No need to be defensive, just be honest with yourself and her, you're not ready for something better, you wanna have fun and no responsibility....don't deny what you are, accept it. One day you'll be ready. I hope that when you are, you find someone really good and that you'll know what to do. Until then enjoy the whores. Peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartThais Posted June 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2007 I stand corrected. Although I may never achieve the rarified air of your A+ status, I do think I'm at least an A-. Romantic Love = chemical reaction in your brain related to the reproductive instinct developed through years of evolution. Did I get that part right? Romantic Relationship = Love + physical sex. So Romantic Relationship = Chemical Reaction + physical sex. Yeah, maybe I don't know what love is but at least I can articulate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayRay Posted June 11, 2007 Report Share Posted June 11, 2007 Currently stuck in the back blocks of N W Arkansas..... and I gotta tell ya there is NO HOPE of me cheating on "anyone" out here.... I spent a couple of tours of duty there for a total of about 6 years. The scars have yet to completely heal. The scenery is pretty nice there but that's it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cavanami Posted June 11, 2007 Report Share Posted June 11, 2007 ...just chew tobacco and spit, you will fit right in :grin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bangkoktraveler Posted June 13, 2007 Report Share Posted June 13, 2007 Holding one finger over a nostril and blowing out buggers thru the other nostril helps also. Knowing how to say fuck all the time while bobbing your head helps in fitting into the grove. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rookie Posted June 14, 2007 Report Share Posted June 14, 2007 HeartThais... One thing that would concern me is a potential problem that hasn't yet been mentioned... You work in HK...will your gal move to HK to be with you? She is a Pediatrician, having spent an extra 7-years of schooling to be a doc. I presume she's licensed in Thailand. Is she going to give up her profession for you...or will you both reside in Thailand? That alone needs to be seriously resolved...as it will surely rise up as a regret in later years. Regardless just follow you heart... I didn't with what I thought was the perfect gal for me. Decades later, I regret it to this day. OTOH, I also realize she is now _old_ as am I now...but I'm still carousing and accepted by younger gals...though the past 'magic' has yet to be duplicated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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