Issaan exode

[bjon045]

I think it takes a lot of courage and a loving heart to take on the responsibility to raise children that are not your direct offspring, especially when their mother is a whore and you have no idea who their daddy is.

 

I certainly couldn't do it.

[Nervous_Dog]

I go out to one of the orphanage's on the north side of town every so often.

 

A large number of kids there are from mixed parents, so Farangs are doing a runner, mum is doing a runner, not just a thai thing

[thalenoi]

>snipped>

What, maybe like lions we should just kill off the offspring not genetically our own and then mate with the female conquest? So we can then spread our own seed and genetic material? That's what animals do right Thalenoi? So as not to waste their limited resources raising offspring not their own genetically. Luckily and thankfully we are not animals, some of us, nor ignorant racists. Some of us have evolved past this 'stupidity' in their thinking. Thank Christ.

 

Cent

 

Now what a load of crap you are uttering...

 

I was refering to the issaan gold diggers who leave the villages to return with the freshly found farang (let me call him city idiot ok?). He will have the nice surprise to find out he has an extended family with kids to raise and leeching parents with brothers and sisters to feed.

 

I see this a lot around the villages here. 8 out of 10 farangs are in such a situation. Some of these virgins do come back to the village with their freshly found treasure. One was a mamasan from a Pattaya soi 6 bar. The idiot believed all the bullshit she told him. And yes, she did not have a child (please correct the lie), well he's 20 years old now, thus not a problem - or not?

 

There is one guy in the village here who has is house for sale over two years now, is he fed up with the next door wifies family.

 

In 30 farang working years I have seen hundreds of couples where both are contributing to the household, one of my colleagues lived with a woman and raised her two kids being a father to her. That's very nice and Christian, good to them.

 

Now here in Issaan it's the other way round: once the gold digger has found her farang life gets easy, no work, no contribution to the household, all paid and taken care off, including her offspring, parents brothers, sisters and cousins.

 

So, the farang who falls for a gold digger is stupid (and he has no idea what he getting into} when on top of that he raises her children and feeds the family it only aggravates his case.

 

Do I need to tell you who sits in front of a webcam in the amphurs internet shops?

Gold diggers. Do I blame them? No, the farangs who get fished are the idiots.

 

Needless to mention in farangland I have not met one couple where money was the driving force for the woman (not that they do not exist, at university indeed half of the females married last year students for what purpose you think?) whilst here in Issaan it's the other way round.

 

My friend who is selling his house had a lady checking the place yesterday. She was going to marry an Englishman and she was allowed to buy a house awaiting his return.

 

Jeez, incredibly what acts of stupidity you only see in LOS. Both of us looked to the sky when we heard she has "carte blanche" to buy a place without him seeing it. A precept for disaster.

 

Raising other men's kids?

Only in LOS is it mind blowing how many nice farangs do this, do you realise the scale of things?

Intelligent move on the males part? I don't think so. Some of you take offense, so what, up to you.

 

And oh Cent, please clarify "the ignorant racist" thing I supposedly am?

[Central Scrutinizer]

>snipped>

What' date=' maybe like lions we should just kill off the offspring not genetically our own and then mate with the female conquest? So we can then spread our own seed and genetic material? That's what animals do right Thalenoi? So as not to waste their limited resources raising offspring not their own genetically. Luckily and thankfully we are not animals, some of us, nor ignorant racists. Some of us have evolved past this 'stupidity' in their thinking. Thank Christ.

 

Cent[/quote']

 

Now what a load of crap you are uttering...

 

I was refering to the issaan gold diggers who leave the villages to return with the freshly found farang (let me call him city idiot ok?). He will have the nice surprise to find out he has an extended family with kids to raise and leeching parents with brothers and sisters to feed.

 

I see this a lot around the villages here. 8 out of 10 farangs are in such a situation. Some of these virgins do come back to the village with their freshly found treasure. One was a mamasan from a Pattaya soi 6 bar. The idiot believed all the bullshit she told him. And yes, she did not have a child (please correct the lie), well he's 20 years old now, thus not a problem - or not?

 

There is one guy in the village here who has is house for sale over two years now, is he fed up with the next door wifies family.

 

In 30 farang working years I have seen hundreds of couples where both are contributing to the household, one of my colleagues lived with a woman and raised her two kids being a father to her. That's very nice and Christian, good to them.

 

Now here in Issaan it's the other way round: once the gold digger has found her farang life gets easy, no work, no contribution to the household, all paid and taken care off, including her offspring, parents brothers, sisters and cousins.

 

So, the farang who falls for a gold digger is stupid (and he has no idea what he getting into} when on top of that he raises her children and feeds the family it only aggravates his case.

 

Do I need to tell you who sits in front of a webcam in the amphurs internet shops?

Gold diggers. Do I blame them? No, the farangs who get fished are the idiots.

 

Needless to mention in farangland I have not met one couple where money was the driving force for the woman (not that they do not exist, at university indeed half of the females married last year students for what purpose you think?) whilst here in Issaan it's the other way round.

 

My friend who is selling his house had a lady checking the place yesterday. She was going to marry an Englishman and she was allowed to buy a house awaiting his return.

 

Jeez, incredibly what acts of stupidity you only see in LOS. Both of us looked to the sky when we heard she has "carte blanche" to buy a place without him seeing it. A precept for disaster.

 

Raising other men's kids?

Only in LOS is it mind blowing how many nice farangs do this, do you realise the scale of things?

Intelligent move on the males part? I don't think so. Some of you take offense, so what, up to you.

 

And oh Cent, please clarify "the ignorant racist" thing I supposedly am?

 

 

 

 

 

Thalenoi,

 

This is the part I feel some of us objected to:

-----------------

"BTW, last night I was having dinner at an Udon farang eatery and who was sitting there?

You guessed it, a farang with his wifie and HER offspring, two beatifull thai children conceived by her (ex) thai man/bf.

 

Tchhhh, how nice these farang guys are eh, taking good care of the thai lady and all these thai babies....IO hardly know of any mixted thai couples without the accompanying thai children...

 

How stupid can they be??? (maby I do need to start a tread on stupid farangs )"

--------------------------

You are calling all the men on this board who have a Thai wife 'with accompanying thai children' stupid. Yes or no?

 

If not for the/your last few lines in your original post I've just quoted I'd totally agree with your observations. Many farangs are being taken advantage of by the women and their families, and by the way, not all the scammers are from Isaan (there's a prejudiced view IMHO). Many of the women are also from Chiang Mai and Chiang Rai, many are from the 'greater Bangkok area' itself, it's massive suburbs, and from south Thailand. It's not 'Isaan' that makes the women and their families 'scammers', it's the disproportional amount that makes it seem so. Not all Isaan ladies and their families are doing this, but you and others persist in claiming it is the Isaan people doing this and you and they are wrong in thinking/claiming that it is. It is a societal and country-wide problem, not a soley Isaan people problem. You cite many cases of your experiences/observations of farang men being scammed by the woman and her family. I can cite many cases where they are not, as well. It's all anecdotal.

 

So, I agree with what you are saying and trying to show in your posts, but I do not agree with how you have generalized all farang men raising their wife's children from another marriage/relationship as being 'stupid'. You seemed to try to back up your anecdotal 'evidence' of these farang men being 'stupid' with little more than your own obvious feelings of superiority (due to your not raising a child not your own maybe?) and your prejudices. And, in doing so, offended all those members on this board who are raising children not their own in a loving and healthy relationship with a woman they love.

 

That is what you are being called on, not the anecdotal information you supply toward showing that some farang men in relationships with Thai women are being scammed by them and their families.

 

BTW, the 'ignorant racist' comment was an 'either/or' choice to explain where you were coming from that you may not have understood possibly. Read this again:

 

"Cent said: Does this apply, Thalenoi, to the farang marriages as well that fall into this category? Sounds racist to me if not, and just plain 'stupid' and 'ignorant' a comment to make here, or anywhere, if so."

 

Meaning, if you are saying that farang men marrying Thai women and raising children not their own are stupid, but not saying that a farang man marrying a farang woman and raising her kids from a previous marriage/relationship is also stupid, then, I consider this a racist attitude and a racist and ignorant remark. Your answer is the determining factor in my opinion, no name calling was made. An 'either/or' and if the shoe fits than someone has to wear it as the saying goes.

 

Your original post and observations had some limited value, your concluding comments in it though were offensive to every man here raising a child not his own with his Thai wife. I'll not sit back and take it, therefore you get to read my responses to your seemingly 'stupid' comments that offended me.

 

I say seemingly because as English is not your first language maybe there is a problem in the 'translation' of what you are 'meaning' to say. If that is the case then a simple apology to those of us here on the board raising children not of their blood with their Thai wives would be appreciated and the whole thing will be considered as just another 'language barrier' misunderstanding.

 

Cent

[Central Scrutinizer]

Thalenoi,

 

You ask: "Do you see this happening in the West at any similar scale? Please enlighten me"

 

Sure. I happens millions of times a year throughout the 'western' world. We just do not have or read daily a message board detailing all these happenings in the west. Of course this happens in many various forms we could detail if we wanted to and categorize however we feel is correct. You are here and see what happens and can then write about it here where others who see this or have even experienced it can then write in the posts in reply. But do not let this blind you to the fact it happens world-wide in various forms.

 

"You might not understand this, but it upsets me sometimes..."

 

Me as well, but not so much, as it is not my problem, not my wife, not my family. These are adult men responsible for their own lives and well being. Some are naive, some are just weak and easily manipulated, some are afraid to say no, for whatever reasons they have. But they are grown men.

 

"P.S. Thai lady not-so-stupid"

 

I totally agree. The man who thinks these women are stupid and that they can control them by thinking they are so much more intelligent and cannot be scammed is the man waiting to be fleeced by the unscrupulous out there.

 

Cent

[Flashermac]

My wife's oldest sister was Miss Lampang and a runner up for Miss Thailand ages ago. She married a Chinese-Thai doctor and had a daughter with him. A couple of years later, the husband was killed by a hit-and-run driver. Sis-in-law then remarried to another Chinese-Thai who had two sons with her. And husband #2 treated his iwfe's daughter exactly as if she were his own flesh and blood. Was he being stupid? I don't think so.

 

p.s. It also forced the Thai family to revise their opinion of the Chinese!

 

 

[khunsanuk]

Hi,

 

"You are calling all the men on this board who have a Thai wife 'with accompanying thai children' stupid. Yes or no?"

 

Good question, and one I'd like to see answered.

 

Here's another, Thalenoi.

 

Is it stupid to marry an ex-bargirl when there are so many non-P4P girls around?

 

It's interesting that you have such a low opinion of guys marrying Thai girls with kids from a previous marriage, yet seem to ignore that there are a lot of people out there who will think that you are stupid for marrying an ex-bargirl. Probably more so than they will look down upon guys marrying non-P4P girls with kids.

 

Now, before you start saying that I am insulting you. I personally don't give a shit who you marry (and for the record I have met your wife and think she's very nice) and for what reasons. I do however have an issue with you generalizing and insulting all of us who are raising other men's kids.

 

Sanuk!

 

[Central Scrutinizer]

I'd also add that while the 'scale' of this might not be as large in the west as it is in Thailand and SEA this is also affected by the disparity in income in the poorer countries of the world. Look at the Phillipines, same thing happens. I'd think, although I haven't checked this opinion for facts, that this sort of 'scamming/abuse' is rampant in many poor families who suddenly find themselves with a perceived 'rich' savior their pretty young daughter has married. I'm quite certain that this would happen just as easily and prevelently in the west if the woman's family was what is considered 'poor' in HER society/country. Also consider that in the west, fairly recently I might add, there is not so much of an extended family as there is presently in these 3rd and developing world societies. In earlier times, quite recently - 100 years ago at most - many western families were quite close and extended families were 'taken care of' by the better off in their families. I know this is true as my grandfather was the bread-winner for most of his extended French Canadian family and helped out to the point it affected my own mother's and her other sisters and brothers quality of life. He helped to the point it hurt really, but it was considered the 'right' thing for a man to do for his blood relatives. This is no different from what happens in Thailand really even among the Thai families. Same in the Phillipines and other poor countries. Same I suspect in almost ALL countries of the world at some point in their societal history. So the fact this happens in Thailand to a perceived 'rich' farang who marries a Thai lady, and is even expected by the families to do, is hardly unique at all. What may be unique to this time in history is the amount of men who feel so guilty, desperate for love, required to help, whatever and etc. that they lose all sense of balance and priorities that they let themselves be taken advantage of and do not seem to be able to say no or even see they are being used and abused. That can also be due to their lack of understanding of their new 'family', the culture, the language, and just all the things most men could easily figure out in their own country and culture, but can't seem to here in Thailand, that places them at a distinct disadvantage some here may abuse. Maybe it comes down to good instincts for some and a lack of this in others? I'd think most guys would be able to tell to one degree or another if they are being played. What fascinates me is those men that seem to know, at least in their heart, that they are being abused and played, yet fail to stop it, disengage from it, and even knowingly let themselves be paupered by unscrupulous family members and even their wives that supposedly love them. What would make a man do this and continue to do this and let this happen even though he knows it is happening and true?

 

I was reminded recently while chatting with DDDave about his own story of this sort of thing. Yet he got out, he saw it and did what he had to do to disconnect from those taking advantage. But others, in the same situation, seem to not be able to make the final cut and disentangle themselves from a like situation. Why is this?

 

Just some thoughts.

 

Cent

[thalenoi]

Cent and others offended,

 

The subject of this tread I started was about not-so-fresh village ladies going South to find farang. The "stupid farang taking care children" thing should be understood in the spirit of the subject at hand: falling for the gold diggers (which is stupid in-se in my -french- book without the additional aggravation of taking care of their children.

 

Anyone with basic logic skills should know that the rule of universality does not apply to statments such as "all the this or all the that are fill-in-the-blanks, such as all thais are idiots or whatever.

 

So I am NOT calling all men on this planet who do take care of thai wife's children stupid. Only those who fell for gold diggers (issaan or other earthy places), regardless of their deeper status.

 

And it is not because someone is or behaves stupid that he is to be thrown to the lions. We all have the right to be stupid and we all are stupid in some of our actions, hopefully not all the time that is.

 

Some of you really have a thin skin.

 

And because of the tone of your reply I will not apologize here for possible misunderstandings for whatever reasons you feel suited to invoke. I would even advise you to refrain from supposing anything, there is nothing you know about Thalenoi that allows you to make comments on whether or not I have/am raising children my own or not my own.

 

Whilst I did not mean "all the farangs who..." you are getting personnal here: I quote you: (your own obvious feelings of superiority (due to your not raising a child not your own maybe?) and your prejudices.

 

And yes, my observations are anecdotal (I did happen to know most of the farangs living 20km around Chumpon, then many around Udon Thani city and now most around the villages here, I see what I see and I hear what I hear) if they bother this board I will refrain from posting in the future. Does this require a poll? :smirk:

 

 

[soongmak]

What fascinates me is those men that seem to know, at least in their heart, that they are being abused and played, yet fail to stop it, disengage from it, and even knowingly let themselves be paupered by unscrupulous family members and even their wives that supposedly love them. What would make a man do this and continue to do this and let this happen even though he knows it is happening and true?

 

I think they stay with their wifes for the same reasons women stay with wife beaters. They know what they have, and fear what the future will hold if they go it alone. It probably means these people have an incredible low self esteem.

 

On another note: It is a thin line between being part of the family and being used. I think the main questions are: Does your wife's family treats you as family and give you the respect you deserve? The next important question is: Can you say no to financial demands and still be treated with respect? If these two questions are answered with a yes, I think you will be allright with the family.