Zaad Posted December 4, 2007 Report Share Posted December 4, 2007 Signs That You Are Getting Old 1. You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead. 2. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. 3. You are proud of your lawn mower. 4. Your friend is dating someone half his/her age, and isn't breaking any laws. 5. Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper. 6. You sing along with the elevator music. 7. The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants. 8. You take a metal detector to the beach. 9. Your ears are hairier than your head. 10. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. I'm pretty much clean, ... except #6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pom Michael Posted December 4, 2007 Report Share Posted December 4, 2007 #4 - What's wrong with that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julian2 Posted December 4, 2007 Report Share Posted December 4, 2007 This is the type of topic I have to stop reading. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torneyboy Posted December 4, 2007 Report Share Posted December 4, 2007 I'm safe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaad Posted December 4, 2007 Author Report Share Posted December 4, 2007 PM, Agreed, nothing wrong, probably one of the few things about ageing non of us would turn our backs on TB, I've met you and you pretty much have a perfect score here 555 (kidding man!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torneyboy Posted December 4, 2007 Report Share Posted December 4, 2007 And you too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.. Posted December 4, 2007 Report Share Posted December 4, 2007 1. You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead. That'll never be the case -- I snore loud enough to wake the dead! 2. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. Hey, I've lost 10 Kg! But yeah... 3. You are proud of your lawn mower. Why not? My gardener is a very fine chap. 4. Your friend is dating someone half his/her age, and isn't breaking any laws. Only my "friend"? Uh yeah, pretty much all of 'em. And I have you know I am too, sonny. Uh, actually less than half my age... 5. Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper. Of course not. I just push my glasses down my nose and put the paper about 5cm from my face 6. You sing along with the elevator music. I knew life was almost over when I heard The Clash, done by a orchestra, on an elevator 7. The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.I would not leave the house if that were the case. The point of the tie should always touch the belt buckle! 8. You take a metal detector to the beach. I stopped going to the beach when the 12 years olds wouldn't stop yelling: "There she blows!--there she blows! A hump like a snow-hill! It is Moby Dick!" 9. Your ears are hairier than your head. No ear hair thank Buddha. We will not discuss the hair that has decided to migrate to my back... 10. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. That's cuz they're passed out on the front lawn after their second bottle of Sang Som... Cheers, SD Edit -- Hmmm, why it do dat? The format, I mean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zzzz Posted December 4, 2007 Report Share Posted December 4, 2007 A little old lady was walking up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say " Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mekong Posted December 4, 2007 Report Share Posted December 4, 2007 Signs That You Are Getting Old 1. You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead. [color:red]Usually my Drunken Stupor confuses people the same [/color] 2. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. [color:red] Never I am so slim I breath out[/color] 3. You are proud of your lawn mower. [color:red] I will not discuss how I cultivate Grass[/color] 4. Your friend is dating someone half his/her age, and isn't breaking any laws. [color:red] Damn Having an Threesome and the combined ages of the 2 females is less than my own age and they are both legal[/color] 5. Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper. [color:red]Do people still read newspapers since the advent of the internet?[/color] 6. You sing along with the elevator music. [color:red]Being IPod generation my Music is my choice hell yes[/color] 7. The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants. [color:red] The only time I have a Thai wrapped around my neck her mouth reaches below where the top of my pants are[/color] 8. You take a metal detector to the beach. [color:red]I prefer looking for Oil[/color] 9. Your ears are hairier than your head. [color:red] Considering that Hammer, Anvil and Stirrup in the Aural cavity control balance I claim that hairy ears are the sign of being well balanced (Plus I decided to cut my long hair off 20 years ago)[/color] 10. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. [color:red] The neighbours in the downtown apartments do not complain they rent off me, house in the suburbs I doubt the neighbours could hear even if I had Metallica in my back garden[/color] Having my youngest sisters 24 year old daughter staying with us for 2 weeks last month made me feel old, realising that Zepplin at Knebworth was 30 years ago makes me feel old, but there are many more facets of my life that make me still feel young, I prefer to look at the positives, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bangkoktraveler Posted December 5, 2007 Report Share Posted December 5, 2007 I always thought nose hairs were bigger then ear hairs. One issue not discussed is that when people get older, other people stop using their toothbrush. The reason is that older people have a tendency to use their toothbrush to keep the shit out of their hairs that are growing around their ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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