doxx Posted August 14, 2009 Report Share Posted August 14, 2009 It's becoming more and more obvious, that, in marrying my wife, in reality I married her mother. Now the influence or intervention I see is mostly with good intent and mostly very helpful (family is well connected and can make all sorts of things happen in no-time), but being a man, I feel as I am loosing my freedom and control. It's kind of like being a kid all over again, being told what to do and I am not sure I will be able to put of with this stuff much longer. I already knew Thai put great respect in their parents will and thoughts, but I somehow thought I could also respect and live with that -I guess I didn't reckon it would affect me, just my wife. Naive perhaps? What are your thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
limbo Posted August 14, 2009 Report Share Posted August 14, 2009 Pretty naive I guess. Same happened to me in the early years of the marriage but the father is usually the dominant parent figure the daughter is totally in awe of. Better get used to it. Your wife is in a difficult postion in the middle and it will take some skills from her side to manage this adequately and keep both sides happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rchapstick Posted August 14, 2009 Report Share Posted August 14, 2009 What are your thoughts? You're hosed! Glad to be of assistance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shygye Posted August 14, 2009 Report Share Posted August 14, 2009 Beat her at her own game! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mekong Posted August 14, 2009 Report Share Posted August 14, 2009 Doxx, Interesting thread mate, it is often cited that a Thai ladies family take precedance over their husband, and isn't that a fact. To begin with I used to resent how close my wife was to her parents and her siblings which caused some friction in the relationship, but over time one learns how to accept the fact by weighing up the positives against the negatives. Family bonds in Thailand as well as most of Asia are very important, something we lost sight of in the west many years ago, what may seem to some as interferance is actualy concideration, parents want the best for their offspring. Recently I had a discussion with my wifes father, he was questioning why I was working / living outside of Thailand 75% of the year, once I explained that the reason I did such was to take care of his little princess not just now but also in the future and it is just a short term sacrifice for long term security he accepted my POV. Thai / Asian family bonds are so much stronger than we are used to in farangland in modern day society and over the years, having set out my own ground rules, I have slowly been accepted as a member of the family and can see (feel) the fact. Rather than get wound up about the negatives of Thai family bonds embrace the positives, I admit I used to get rather pissed off with my wifes / family ties in the early years, nowadays rather than resent the facts I have learned to accept them and ipso facto her family accept me. Best of luck mate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
limbo Posted August 14, 2009 Report Share Posted August 14, 2009 Well said Mekong and I recognise this too well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentors Posted August 14, 2009 Report Share Posted August 14, 2009 under this circumstances, be happy that you don't be married with her Grandmother Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TroyinEwa/Perv Posted August 14, 2009 Report Share Posted August 14, 2009 His father-in-law probably did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentors Posted August 14, 2009 Report Share Posted August 14, 2009 His father-in-law probably did. yes maybe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unit731 Posted August 14, 2009 Report Share Posted August 14, 2009 Family = Money. Too simplistic? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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