It truly amazes me

[Guest]

one can sometimes see a difference in language. it is not so much the accent, more some very barspecific idioms, and a more rash, selfconfident behavior than a "normal" upcountry girl. also the annoying habit of switching into tinglish as soon as they talk with a farang even if the farang speaks way better thai than they do speak english

 

also the habit of overloading themselves with gold ornamets could be a clue, but then, how many of the rich upperclass "ladies" are so distastefully adorned themselves?

 

but, those are only indications. and by far not all bargirls do show those indications, as well as not all "normal" upcopuntry girls lack selfconfidence.

 

when it comes down to women who worked in the thaiscene it is close to impossible to tell, as there the outrageous behavior as in the western oriented gogo bars is not happening generally.

 

 

 

personally, i think, the whole thing is a class issue. looking at the behavior of some women of perfectly "acceptable" social background and skintone i guess the only difference to bargirls is that they are paid money straight away. mostly i think that a bargirl is looked down upon by the upper classes here not so much because her profession, more because of her social background.

 

my missus is gonna be treated like shit by the upper classes here because of her background most likely forever, no difference whatsoever to a bargirl. a famous actress, a daughter of a very rich family is always adored, because of her background. if she is a tart, people might gossip, but she is still being part of the "acceptable" class.

 

 

 

however, it does not phase me as much anymore personally as it once did. i look at it this way: it makes it much easier to me to judge the true character of people by the way they react to my missus. they might be very friendly and polite in my face, but looking at how they deal with the presence of my missus i can see the more hidden parts of their character.

[khunsanuk]

Hi,

 

 

 

"mostly i think that a bargirl is looked down upon by the upper classes here not so much because her profession, more because of her social background."

 

I fully agree.

 

 

 

Sanuk!

 

 

[bibblies]

So, as I suspected all along... providing that they're intelligent enough to adjust their behaviour, speech and attire to the situation, then one shouldn't be able to tell that they've ever been a bar-girl and therefore any bad treatment they receive has to be down to other (class?regional?) prejudices.

 

 

[Guest]

yes, definately.

 

and intelligence and education don't need to go hand in hand. i would never underestimate the intelligence of someone just because he/she had not the educational opportunities we take for granted.

[thalenoi]

BTW, I attended the two last Thai New years in Belgium.

 

There were a lot of mixed couples in the ballroom and some clearly from the bar scene.

 

 

 

"Get real, she doesn't love them."

 

 

 

Really???? Allow me to doubt, I even spoke with some of them, how did I dare? and no one looked down on them.

[pattaya127]

in 1998, a good SFrancisco thai friend of mine was getting married in BKK, big thing, at the Hyatt regency, a couple ministers came to offer their wishes. When he invited me i told him about my new GF met in Pattaya, and maybe was it possible to bring her? He just said: "H, i trust you, if she is no slut, i have no problem with it ". Years of western life do help people open their minds. And i made sure my GF shook the hand of the ministers. Unperishable memory.... ( News Headline: PATTAYA WHORE SHAKE MINISTER'S HAND!)

[Guest]

>>>>>Will you introduce your protegee to your thai friends?<<<<

 

 

 

Depends. To some yes but not to all. Same with my non-Thai friends

[Guest]

Sure its a class issue. Thailand is a class society, no point in denying that. I think I mentioned earlier that I do not agree with this. Most people from upcountry NE have a disadvantage just because they are born there and that's a sad thing. A loos to the country really.

 

Someone posten that intelligance does not go hand in hand with education. Very true, especially in this country. Another loss to Thailand if someone with the potential can not reach that potential. I talk often about this with my Thai friends and they all agree, but with a few exeptions, don't do anything about it.

 

 

 

That said, my work brings me mostly in contact with the upper classes of Thai society. It is important for me to fit in and be accepted by them. So I try to act and talk like them, but at the same time discuss the ill's (all in Thai of course) and perhaps can be instrumental in starting a small change out there somewhere.

 

Most expats that I know have hardly any contact with Thais, outside work or family (if their wife is Thai).

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest]

>Most expats that I know have hardly any contact with Thais, outside work or family (if their wife is Thai).<

 

 

 

...and outside the entertainment areas you can add.

 

somehow very sad.

 

i have met expats working for large companies in very well paid positions, some of them already for many years, proud of the fact that they speak not a single word of the language. comments like: "all thais are stupid" seem to be seen as very funny and true in that kind of society.

 

 

 

 

 

>So I try to act and talk like them, but at the same time discuss the ill's (all in Thai of course) and perhaps can be instrumental in starting a small change out there somewhere. <

 

 

 

good luck with that. unfortunately though as long as there is hardly any social interchange apart from employer/employee relationships nothing is going to change in thailand. the way of life differs here between the classes so much that it seems to me often as completely different countries.

 

 

[Brink15]

I wasn't going to bother to get involved in this thread but maybe I can give another perspective.

 

 

 

My wife comes from a poor family. Her father was a farmer who owned lots of land but never made much money. My wife joined the Thai Militia and was put through technical college, sort of like an associates degree in office management. She later went to a teacher's college and got her teaching degree.

 

 

 

My wife as I said is from a poor family. She is fairly dark complexioned. But she does have two degrees.

 

 

 

Would the average hi-so Thai respect her for her studies? Probably not since these were local colleges, not Chula or Thammasat. Would they look down on her for her country appearance? Well here's an example.

 

 

 

One of my wife's best friends here is a co-worker. My wife is now a chef - the co-worker manages one of the restaurants. The co-worker is a Mom Rajawongse (Great-grandchild of Rama V). This is about as hi-so as you can get. Her friend sees my wife for what she is, a good, honest, caring person. That is all that matters.

 

 

 

I have seen the discrimination you talk about, but it almost always comes from the spoiled child of some Nouveau-riche Thai. The old saying that you can't buy class, you're born with it, holds true.

 

 

 

There are no absolutes; there are no certain generalizations.

 

 

 

Bottom line, assumptions suck.