BG's working for Thai BF

[shygye]

The few Thai bf I have seen like the motobike bought by the BG, like the whiskey bought by the BG, like not working, like gambling with BG money, and beat the crap out of the BG on a regular basis.

[Boo Radley]

Flyonzewall wrote:

 

In reply to:

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?as i said in another thread, i know several of those thai boyfriends/husbands of bargirls. i hang out often with them.

 

they are guys who are in a very difficult situation, most do not like what their girlfriends are doing, but have no choice than accepting it as they are in no position to earn the money their girlfriends are making?

---

 

 

 

Hi,

 

I guess this begs the question, why don?t they make the choice of leaving their bar-girlfriend and find a girlfriend who is not working in the night-life industry? I guess the increased money coming in from their bar-girlfriends must go some way to explaining it.

 

 

[Guest]

check_bin_krap: I think it is blind love. In the same way a farang falls in love with a Thai girl and refuses to see it when he is being used. So the girl is a victim also.

 

 

 

I agree. The girls are vulnerable and there is plenty of scum to take advantage of their insecurities.

 

 

 

There's something I've heard over and over: "Thai girls do not fall in love with farang because they cannot afford to. They are too poor for such luxury, they have to provide for their parents. Thus they are more calculating and less emotional about the choice of their partners."

 

 

 

I completely disagree with this line of reasoning. Thai girls are just as capable of falling in love with no regard to their well-being. The fact that so many of them have a lowlife Thai boyfriend seems like a pretty good evidence.

[Guest]

flyonzewall: i know several of those thai boyfriends/husbands of bargirls. i hang out often with them. they are guys who are in a very difficult situation, most do not like what their girlfriends are doing, but have no choice than accepting it

 

 

 

fly:

 

 

 

A few questions come to mind.

 

 

 

First of all, you described these guys as tough guys, some of whom have done time. Then you went on describing them as essentially good people who have feelings just like everyone else, etc., it's just that they are in a tough situation.

 

 

 

I too know a few types like that, mostly from my childhood. Yes, they do have feelings, and yes, they do have dreams, just like everyone else. The difference is how they conduct their lives. As a matter of princple I do not associate with people who prefer to use violence more often than logic, with people who make living by stealing and scamming. And can't help wondering why you would want to hang out with them - and even romanticize them. Surely you wouldn't hang out with convicts back in your home country!?

 

 

 

Back to the core of the argument. It may be true that there are unhappy husbands left behind in the provinces whose wives left them to go to work in a bar. But DD's post talks about the ubiquitous Thai scum that exists near farang oriented establishment. The guys who take money from their BG girlfriends and who spend the money on drinking, gambling, drugs, and what have you. The ones who find their girlfriends among the BG because they know they are an easy prey and because they know they have money. The ones who beat the shit out of their girlfriends when they don't bring enough money to support their habits. A completely different story from those who marry upcountry and their wives leave them to work in a bar.

 

 

 

I'm not saying that working for 5,000 Baht a month is an attractive option. But many poor Thais who don't have much choice, do exactly that. You can use your logic to justify any scumbag and criminal.

[Guest]

 

 

You have a good point.

 

What I don't understand is when the keep the relationship with the BF even when all their friends say the should stop.

 

 

 

DD

 

 

[check_bin_krap]

"What I don't understand is when the keep the relationship with the BF even when all their friends say the should stop. "

 

 

 

One thing with many Asian girls (not only Thai) is their loyalty towards the one they love. I am sure many of the people married or having a relationship with an Asian girl who loves them, can vouch for that. I'll guess that is the reason.

 

 

[pattaya127]

I think it is blind love. In the same way a farang falls in love with a Thai girl and refuses to see it when he is being used. So the girl is a victim also.

 

-----------------------------

 

they are not the brightest people in Thailand is all i can say, and farangs also seem to lose neurones by the millions day after day sometimes in these settings.

[pattaya127]

and he feels he is getting something for free that we farangs are paying top dollar for!

 

--------------------------

 

 

 

not sure these guys feel anything. Money is money, they probably could not care less if she was getting it from thais, or even some other ways. i know a few young GTGs who do not sleep with farangs, have a job, and complain about the lazy BF, because he promised to get a job but has been lying around watching TV for the last 3 months. i think it's the "free" money, not any vanity over getting it free. What self-respectable guy would let his GF sleep with other men while he's waiting at home. Only pimps and losers. We farangs win again hands down in front of such miserable person.

[pattaya127]

as i said in another thread, i know several of those thai boyfriends/husbands of bargirls. i hang out often with them.

 

they are guys who are in a very difficult situation, most do not like what their girlfriends are doing, but have no choice than accepting it as they are in no position to earn the money their girlfriends are making

 

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it may be so, but in relation of the title of the thread, I do not see that excuses them. After talking about BGs having little choice but to keep working in the scene, we would now justify them doing it so that poor down and out TBF can eat a soup. Not what you meant of course, just going on a limb about the possible implications in your post.

[Guest]

>Surely you wouldn't hang out with convicts back in your home country!? <

 

 

 

in my youth there i actually did, i had myself a few run ins with the law (never convicted though). i blame my parents for not having ended up in prison.

 

 

 

 

 

basically you get any sort of people, you got the scum, you got basically nice guys in a tough situation. you find in any social group this mixture. i have had to deal with business people who were outright scum too, cheating, lying, backstabbing.

 

i just refuse these generalisations. people are more complex than that.

 

 

 

and regarding violence in a relationship, that is not confined to bargirls and their boyfriends, that can happen in the best families too.

 

 

 

>As a matter of princple I do not associate with people who prefer to use violence more often than logic, <

 

 

 

unfortunately in some environments violence is the logic thing.

 

 

 

 

 

>The ones who beat the shit out of their girlfriends when they don't bring enough money to support their habits.<

 

 

 

more often than not the habit is shared by the girl.

 

 

 

people seem to forget that mostly the girls and these guys come from exactly the same social background, deal with problems exactly the same way. violent responses to problems in some of those relationships is very often mutual.

 

how many times have you seen these bargirls flipping? so often the first thing which comes into their hand are beerbottles and knifes.

 

you ask me why i like to hang out with those guys?

 

well let me ask you, why do you guys like to fall in love, marry. etc with those girls?

 

 

 

i can answer you why i like to hang out with them. they can teach me a lot of things i have no clue about. i enjoy the directness of how they deal with people, very refreshing. i envy their level of comradery, the extremes to which they go to stick up for their friends.

 

it completely alters my perspective on live in general and this country in particular.

 

i came to asia 14 years ago to learn about life, to experience life. to take the risk and let myself be changed by what i can experience. part of that is that i associate with people who had a very different life than i have had, try to understand them, try to understand life.