Meeting stunning non-bargirls. A discussion.

[JJsushi]

Says jasmine:

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Hi,

[color:"red"] if you are you sound like a complete moron who doesn't have the intelligence to couch his words in a manner that will not show unbridled prejudice).

[/color]

 

I have heard this type of talk from my brother, freinds (many of Thais live in the West) and I first thought that it was purely prejudice. However, when I probed further, some of them felt just that these people are lazy and took an easy way out.

 

I hesitate to come to any conclusion, being older, I realize that things are not exactly black and white.

 

Cheers!

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In this case it is pure prujudice.

[bibblies]

Gee, you're sure working hard on this thread!

 

I do agree that some guys parading around shopping malls with bar-girls doesn't necessarily make it more difficult to pick up non bar-girls. I'd say the overriding factor was what the guy looks like and how he conducts himself. If he presents himself well and so does the girl then they've no reason to fear being mistaken for a BG and customer.

[JJsushi]

Says NopebutforU:

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3 am in sukkhumvit and something rings true

 

" The pack mentality is an amazing thing and very few can be Alpha males."

Try to get a western peer out to Bo Kung Pao.I sure would be impressed at how enterprising and self affirmative you'd be picking up a girl in one of the foreigners oriented bangkokians brothels.Not that I deny the weight of thai tastes on my judments.Just need to open TV or walk in a mall to notice those girls are from different world.Try to imagine back in the states people with income 20 or 30 times lower than yours.They are probably street beggars.Think about the girls they mingle with.Do you want them?.Focus on Thailand.The girls U're looking at mostly interest local guys who do 20 times less than what I do.And it's probably much less than what U make.That's a social pressure I feel,thank you very much

 

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I my friend am an Alpha male. I have in the West dated women who worked at McDonalds and women who are debutantes, it makes no difference to me. I have a very wide range of tastes and appetties so I can't personally relate to your example. In LOS I have also sampled a divergent socio-economic range of women albeit very small sample group.

 

Where I might be able to relate to you is in the living in two different worlds in LOS. The problem for me personally in LOS is that the majority of non-BG women I have met have been through introductions by Thai friends the rest in discos, malls, etc. The women that I meet through friends I usually tend to avoid getting involved with because there are certain expectations involved that I don't want to deal with because of the friendships. That is one of several reasons I tend to deal more the BG world and keep the two separate. So in a sense I do bow to some pressure from Thai society but I will be damned if I let them change my thinking to the point that I disparage and condemn an entire group of people.

 

Funny thing is that I have never had the problems that I see many who post here do with fitting in with high-so Thais. Then again when I think about it my non-nightlife Thai friends work in various govt ministries, are well educated from Thai and Western universities, some worked for western companies, have traveled and lived abroad and are very open minded individuals. So I really don't think that they hold the same view as you about the "scum" of Thai society.

 

I don't know if you do but if you truly have some high-so Thai friends who actually confide in you, you will be amazed at how many skeletons that they have in their closets that would make your current dillema with the "scum" seem like a walk in the park.

[JJsushi]

Says bibblies:

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Gee, you're sure working hard on this thread!

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I guess so. Sometimes it takes a nonsensical topic such as this to get me going.

I just find the dynamic of compromising ones values within a culture to be interesting.

Plus I have a very strong distaste for educated foreigners that accept racial or ethnic prejudices within a society not of their own in order to "fit in".

I am not talking about the argument "is it approriate to parade around a bargirl" scenario because that is what it is. I am talking about the ridiculous mentality that some Western men accept of "Thai men find Isaan women ugly and unattractive so I therefore must find them ugly and unattractive" so I can fit in with mainstream society.

 

Funny thing is that most of these dopes forget that not every Thai man finds the Chinese Thai look sexy or desireable. They also forget that image of beauty is perpetuated more through the media(do they even sell a product that doesn't have "whitening" in it these days?) which is controlled by Thai-chinese than the actual day to day reality. The Thai nation is such a mixture and melting pot of different SEA ethnic groups that there is no one standard of beauty IMO. I guess if you keep watching the boob tube and buy into the advertisements then you will always be a part of the herd.

 

As I said before people desire what they are denied and most dopes don't know what they truly want. They would rather have someone else tell them what they want.

[Guest]

" I see no problem with a John taking his prostitute shopping in the Emporium or the open air market they are both public venues for shopping and who gives a rat's ass if some "normal" people don't like the sight of it."

 

The fact is that several stunning girls I have met have felt uneasy about going shopping or to a bar with me, simply because of how they would be viewed. Im talking about Chula students who care about how they are perceived in society. Whilst this may be a little vain on their part, its pretty annoying from my side of things. I can spend hours talking to these girls on the phone, and they are quite happy to meet me in the uni, but if I even so much as try to hold their hand in public, they protest. Luckily, I have met others who dont seem to have this worry.

 

As for how I find time to look for and meet these girls, its simple. I dont work! Im living here for a year on my savings, and having an amazing, stress free time. I could work as a teacher and then spend 50% of the money on hookers to relieve the stress, or I can just relax and enjoy meeting people 7 days per week.

[cardinalblue]

I will agree that 95% ( a conservative guess) of thai-falang relationships one sees in the toursit area areas of the sex-tourist-BG variety. What this does is to create a stereotype for this couple. And stereotypes are hard to break...

 

So it does factor into non-bar girls thinking when being with falangs. It is not so much from her perspective but the image of what other thais think. And Thais very much care about what others perceive of them whether it is reality or not. Remember, thailand is a group, collective culture and not an individualistic western one.

 

On the other hand, if you, the falang, don't have that sex tourist look to you translating into something else like conservative-looking and physically presentable, non bars girls usually are willing to be seen with you in public places and risk what other thais think of you as a couple. If she doesn't look like a BG and you are not of the classic falang tourist look, Thais who have reasonable thinking ability will draw theat same conclusion.

 

I will add that your own credibilty seems to factor into her being seen with you. That means, she can "explain" you as someone in some productive worthy capacity should someone ask about you. While it might not be important to most westerners to justify their worth, it seems very important to Thais because of one's "position" within the thai socio-econ hierarchy carries so much value and wieght to thai people's perceptions.......

 

cardinalblue

 

 

[Guest]

" Funny thing is that I have never had the problems that I see many who post here do with fitting in with high-so Thais. Then again when I think about it my non-nightlife Thai friends work in various govt ministries, are well educated from Thai and Western universities, some worked for western companies, have traveled and lived abroad and are very open minded individuals. So I really don't think that they hold the same view as you about the "scum" of Thai society. "

I don't know if you do but if you truly have some high-so Thai friends who actually confide in you, you will be amazed at how many skeletons that they have in their closets that would make your current dillema with the "scum" seem like a walk in the park "

 

I'm not sure of what you mean,is it a misunderstanding of the situation or a straightforward lie??Most wealthy thais seem to be seeing a bunch of mia nois and prostitutes.But thoses are NOT ur basic Pattaya girl or even your basic isaan long time girlfriend ,and not from with look but also from behaviour.You can read again Jasmine post BTW her brother is a local lawyer I think and I guess most of his friends are hi so thais

 

"The Thai nation is such a mixture and melting pot of different SEA ethnic groups that there is no one standard of beauty IMO"

 

You should check a bit more the place and you'll see models are a mix of Chinese style faces,siamese faces(rather long face and sharp nose) with not always very white skin,and Luk krungs.Some western women are appreciated too,you pointed the baywatch type,it fits

There are criteria of beauty and others of ugliness though.I'm not going through the latter again.Denial won't change much to the situation

Another point,if "fit in" disturbs you,is one needs to adapt to the culture he lives in,to show some respect to the local customs.Here we bring money and a lot is actually tolerated,it's not yet time they're ll be thais beating up foreigners or shooting them dead only beacause they're not of the same skin colour.It happens where I come from,and things like seeing foreigners spitting flagrantly at what's admissible there just make things worse.

Again you don't really need to care if you just come a few weeks a year.Remember too that for such alpha males there are group tours.

 

[check_bin_krap]

"There are criteria of beauty and others of ugliness though.I'm not going through the latter again.Denial won't change much to the situation

Another point,if "fit in" disturbs you,is one needs to adapt to the culture he lives in,to show some respect to the local customs.Here we bring money and a lot is actually tolerated,it's not yet time they're ll be thais beating up foreigners or shooting them dead only beacause they're not of the same skin colour.It happens where I come from,and things like seeing foreigners spitting flagrantly at what's admissible there just make things worse.

Again you don't really need to care if you just come a few weeks a year.Remember too that for such alpha males there are group tours."

 

I agree that respect should be shown towards culture and what is proper. But Thai beauty ideals do not belong to what one should necessary suck up..

 

Or do you want your GF/wife to do a nose job like the Thai acresses and movie stars go for? Thats also very in among Thais who can afford it...

 

Cheers!

[JJsushi]

Nope,

 

I'll sign off on this topic with you.

I'll just leave it at that IMO you have seriously lost the plot.

I hope that when you eventually depart from LOS you will find it again but at the present enjoy your sojourn because it is an experience that will hopefully make you a better person and in turn make hose who know you better people.

[JJsushi]

Wow! Did I high jack this thread or what?!

 

I will put it back on track.

 

How do you meet non-BG's? You either have friends introduce you to them or you walk up to them smile and say hello. Usually if you take the direct method it helps to establish eye contact from a distance and do the eye-talk thing before you approach with a greeting.

 

Back to you SMEG.