Are TGs mentally damaged by Prostitution?

[Old Hippie]

This an excellent question. I have read a few items on this over the years with different views. Most of what I have read dealt with Prostitutes in western countries, mainly the USA. Basically most of the girls came from an abusive background of one sort or another, many were poor, thus the arguement that they were screwed up before they entered the field. Entering this line of work didn't seem to help them though. Many seem to suffer a form of delayed stress, or post traumatic stress. This can make some sense if we think about it. A street walker will spend a lot of her time in a dangerous unpredictable environment, she may be able to keep her edge at the time, but lose it when the immediate danger passes, and her guard goes down, similar to soldiers who experience combat. Many will turn to alcohol and drugs, if they already haven't.

In the case of Thai women, I think they enter the business because of poverty, plain and simple. I know one woman who came to BKK to work in a factory, and later saw the money that oter girls made. She saw them going on holidays, getting gifts, and some of them getting married, so she entered the business. She now lives in Sweden. Other girls aren't that lucky, each case is different, but I think all the girls involved experience some sort of reconcilliation with it.

 

"...It can mentally damage us (the punters) as well if you let it..."

 

Interesting point also. Some psychologist have stated that prolonged "consumption" (lack of a better word) of commercial sex (pornography, gogos, prostitutes...) can cause a man to experience problems developing a "normal,healthy" relationship, and problems with intamacy. Could be true, or these problems could be why he goes for this in the first place...In any event, a very good topic for discussion and consideration.

 

No, it won't be closed soon as long as WE all keep it nice and polite!

 

 

[Man at Work]

Sh.....ugar! As soon as I bet on something, it goes sour. My lifstory: But this thread is dissapointing me!

[Guest]

Sorry about that M A W. I do try to be as controversial as possible (not really, but Im sure it appears that way). Im just the sort of guy who likes to raise serious, topical issues based on my experiences and observations out and about in BKK.

 

I agree that when farangs encounter BGs, it is a life-changing experience. My whole outlook on sex and relationships has changed dramatically in the past 12 months, and I believe its changed for the better. Having been through some shit with BGs and Non BGs here, I believe that I have learned a lot and matured a great deal when it comes to both sex and relationships.

[Man at Work]

Great!

 

Keep having fun - that is what life is all about!

 

::

[Guest]

Hi! Old Hippie

 

I fully agree with your opinion.

 

In my impression, mentallity of men and women is reversed in Thailand than other countries. Women takes more intiative and responsibility in Thailand and they are ready to risk their life for families.

 

Most of BGs might suffered from poverty in upcountries but also brave enough to challenge the situation.

 

BGs' mentality may be similar to soldiers of Chinese Long March who made up mind to win the war at the end regardless to hardship or casualties.

 

So I rather wish to encourage their long march than paying simpathy for their bad luck, because I can do nothing for such background.

 

 

 

[Guest]

A good topic. A few initial comments and observations:

 

First, the girls that become BGs generally often do not come from stable family backgrounds to begin with. In other words, what you are describing may not be the result of prostitution.

 

Second, and this might be a bit controversial, but in many ways Thai culture is much more materialistic than Western culture. And, to Western eyes (mine, for example), it will seem more crass than Western materialism. Let me give you an example from upper middle class Thai culture. At a certain level, you simply must have an expensive car, generally a Mercedes or a BMW, an expensive watch, etc. I see this at the office every day. You'll find some of this in the U.S. as well, but you will also find plenty of non-conformists in senior positions that simply refuse to spend mony on expensive showy cars and babbles. Not here - they are mandatory. Again, the characteristics you describe, e.g., materialism, may not be the result of prostitution.

 

Third, many so-called good Thai girls are perfectly willing to sleep with a man they really don't care for if the price is right. Many marry men they don't like, and they often do so for financial reasons. In others, BGs don't have the exclusive on sex for money.

 

Fourth, most Thai men, including the upper classes, frequent prostitutes more often than their counterparts in the West. Prostitution is much more prevalent here than it is in the West. What Thais object to is the cheap tawdiness of the Farang sex scene. Here, the point is that prostitution per se is not subject to the same condemnation it is in the West. It is the visible manifestation of a tawdry sex scene that makes most people I know uncomfortable.

 

As you can probably guess by now, I don't think that TGs are "mentally damaged" by prostitution. I think it may change and harden attitudes, but many of those attitudes already exist. I also would not call call those attitudes "mental damage."

 

And this leads to a more fundamental question: are these attitudes really evidence of "mental damage." This is more than semantics because many of the attitudes you describe in your post as mental damage or evidence of mental damage are quite prevalent here and in the West. Even though I might not like those attitudes, I would not characterize them with the perjorative term "mental damage." I would use other perjorative terms ::

materialism, and general hardness

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Not to be too cute, but those words describe a few investment bankers, lawyers, and yes, even bankers I know (but never me :. They may not be pleasant characteristics, but are they really mental damage?

[Guest]

In my first few months here, I got friendly with several SEX TOURISTS. Since then, I have stopped getting to know them for longer than a few hours (and probably will refrain from doing even that in future). The reason? Because of those I did get to know, I could see that they have a warm FARANG heart, but it was buried a long way beneath a lot of dead wood, materialism, and general hardness (in comparison to non SEX TOURISTS). These are the characteristics necessary for them to operate in their chosen environment, but it seems to have destroyed their true, genuinely warm personality. I don't know if the damage is permanent.

 

Everybody knows that paedophilia mentally scars children, and it is therefore illegal. Prostitution is also illegal in most of the world. Is that for the same reason?

[Guest]

555, good point

[pattaya127]

No contest. with different degrees. if a girl is very young, and stays a long time in the scene, and being coaxed in the art of deluding tourists, a sure thing. Actually, a lot of girls try it, and get out, preferring lower income to losing oneself, or a big chunk of it. And in another way, I am always surprised, in Pattaya at least, how many girls are still behaving with decency, focussing on having one BF (and husband after), taking care of themselves, establishing a good support system of friends (even if not the same, one year to another), and fending for themselves, which may make them head-strong and tough as nail, but is this a flaw? The most intriguing thing to ponder about is actually, the low self-esteem they have of themselves, while not accepting to be treated like vulgar prostitutes, or even little floozies. Endless food for thought. Good topic and sensitive posts. Congrats, all!

[Guest]

Whatever you say or speculate is that only you can judge that..

take a test.

go in a bar take the third girl from the right you see drag her home no matter what she looks like katoi or not or whatever and give her the good old woody to suck on and do her good for a few hours......

how many can do that in here?

you really belive a BG say she select her customers and only go with the one she likes? its the money that ticks them and as before i said they leave there head at home and just do it. many of them are mentally strong from been raised in poverty and hard conditions and can stand it for a longer period of time. others they last a few months before they go home, and the rest well i guess AIDS gets them. cause there is a big circulation of the girls around the bars and only a few are long timers or girls coming back on a rebound.

 

i think the majority get scared for life and that is why we experience them as false and not trustworthy at all some times. its the lifestyle that makes em that way.