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Well,' she explained, ' one popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent. We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Scots,'

 

Very good ...you sure you didn't change Scot's.. :cool:

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a bloke was standing on his front porch watching his mother in law get beaten up by 6 men. His neighbor runs over and says to him, don't you think you should lend a hand to which he replied- Nah- 6 blokes should be enough.

 

Fatts....

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There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds. The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his balls weighed five pounds. All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him.

 

Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was wrong. The head nurse replied, ''We don't know what to do with this baby.''

 

So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "You should put him into a mental institution."

 

''Why?' asked the head nurse.

 

"Well," replied the chief surgeon, "take a look at him. The boy is obviously half nuts."

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An Australian, an Irishman and a Scouser are in a bar. They're staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner. He's so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad. They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: 'My God, it's Jesus!'

 

Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint.

 

Thrilled, they send him over a Pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a pint of bitter. Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another.

 

After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio.

 

He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement:'My God! The arthritis I've had for 30 years is gone. It's a miracle!'

 

Jesus then shakes the Aussie's hand, thanking him for the lager. As he lets go, the man's eyes widen in shock. 'Strewth mate, the bad back I've had all my life is completely gone! It's a Miracle.'

 

Jesus then approaches the Scouser. But the Scouser steps away from him and says, 'Back off, mate, I'm on disability benefit.'

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A young fellow was about to be married and was asking his grandfather about sex. He asked how often you should have it.

 

His grandfather told him that when you first get married, you want it all the time... and maybe do it several times a day.

 

Later on, sex tapers off and you have it once a week or so. Then as you get older, you have sex maybe once a month.

 

When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year... maybe on your anniversary.

 

The young fellow then asked his grandfather, â??Well how about you and Grandma now?â?Â

 

His grandfather replied, â??Oh, we just have oral sex now.â?Â

 

â??Whatâ??s oral sex?â? the young fellow asked.

 

â??Well,â? Grandpa said, â??She goes to bed in her bedroom, and I go to bed in my bedroom. And she yells, â??Fuck youâ??, and I holler back, â??Fuck you tooâ?Â.

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Health Benefits Of Being Overweight!

 

 

A new report suggests that being overweight is not as harmful as is commonly believed, and actually confers some surprising benefits.

 

Being five to ten pounds overweight could protect people from ailments ranging from tuberculosis to Alzheimer's disease, research indicates. Those carrying 15 to 25 extra pounds are better able to recover from adverse conditions such as emphysema, pneumonia, and various injuries and infections, states the report.

 

Thirty to forty pounds of flab could help fend off breast, kidney, pancreatic, prostate, and colon cancer. And an extra fifty pounds on the scale may improve eyesight, reverse baldness, cure the common cold, and reduce global warming.

 

In general, the report concludes, overweight people are happier, more successful in business, smarter, and friendlier.

 

The study was funded by a research grant from McDonald's, Burger King, Jack in the Box, Taco Bell, Domino's Pizza, Starbucks, Haagen Dazs, Sara Lee, and Krispy Kreme.

 

 

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Children's science exam answers:

 

 

Q: Name the four seasons.

A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

 

 

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

 

 

Q: How is dew formed?

A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

 

 

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?

A: Keep it in the cow.

 

 

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

 

 

Q: What are steroids?

A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

 

 

Q: What happens to your body as you age?

A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

 

 

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

 

 

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

A: Premature death.

 

 

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized?

A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

 

 

Q: What is the fibula?

A: A small lie.

 

 

Q: What does 'varicose' mean?

A: Nearby.

 

 

Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section ..'

A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.

 

 

Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'

A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

 

 

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