Help with distressing personal situation

[DarkCloud]

I am experiencing a very difficult situation and am a bit emotionally overwhelmed. So, finding that going around and around in my own head is not being helpful, I am hoping to get some input from others.

The situation is: I was planning on marrying my Thai girlfriend this December assuming things continued to go well in the intervening period. However, 2 months ago, she went to a Buddhist meditation center for a week and became schizophrenic. We visited a Thai Psychiatrist and my gf is now on her 2nd medication as the first was too strong for her. The medication works in that she is no longer hears voices and is not delusional (I am not entirely convinced this is 100% the case). However, she is not the same person as before. She is aware of this and has commented on this herself. She used to be outgoing, smiling, talking with people. Now she is withdrawn. Also, she sleeps a great deal. The extreme was one day last week when she slept between 18 and 20 hours. Also, she is often non-responsive when I speak to her. When I finally get her attention, she says she was thinking. When I ask what she was thinking about, she basically can only reply â??a lot of thingsâ?Â. With regards to watching TV, she used to only watch DMC â?? a Buddhist channel. While I didnâ??t understand what the Monk was saying, I found it pleasant since the Monkâ??s voice was very soothing. She used to be almost obsessed with Buddhism and so her not watching this channel is probably good for her. However, she now watches these stupid, annoying Thai soap operas.

Anyway, she is not at all the same as before and I feel like I am with a stranger.

All this is complicated by my personal history. My father abandoned his family when I was age 19 and my younger brother and sister were 12 and 5 respectively. When I was age 21, my mother died and I adopted my brother and sister. Without the details, when I was in my 30â??s, I ended up taking care of someone else.

On one hand, I feel like I have had enough in my life taking care of others, I am not married to my gf and so I should do the following: continue to provide her with monthly financial support and end the relationship as gently as possible. On the other hand, having had a father who abandoned his family, I feel it would not be right to leave her just because she is ill. One thing I am sure of, if I stayed with her, I would need to have a mia noi or frequent trips on my own, as I not only donâ??t enjoy my current gfâ??s company because being with her and seeing her not herself (due to illness) makes me sad.

A complicating factor is, my gf has 2 daughters (12 and 6) whom I like and care about. If I married my gf and adopted her daughters, apparently they would each receive over 10,000 baht a month from US Social Security (confirmed by US Embassy but not yet confirmed directly with Social Security) until they are 21, if they attend Uni, 18 if not. If I do not marry my gf, they of course receive nothing.

Making â??my plansâ? a somewhat urgent matter is the fact that we are currently looking to rent a house in the closest large city near her families village (60 km away).

Thanks to anyone who offers their thoughts/comments/suggestions as I am quite emotionally conflicted and distressed by the situation and unable to think clearly.

 

[fruity]

Holy cow.

 

How long have you been together?

 

Assuming less than a couple of years I'd be an a55hole and just leave and go my own way. Your life is going to seriously change otherwise.

 

If a number of years already, then try and do a financial deal with her, if that's what she wants or needs.

 

Only if I was married would I try staying together and making the relationship work, if it is as bad as you say it is.

 

Good luck!

[buffalo_bill]

May I ask you how old both of you are , I had a similar situation with my housemaid and her husband .

[bust]

If you want a complicated life....surround yourself with complicated people.

 

Not sure how you go to a Buddhist meditation center for a week and became schizophrenic....thats new to me.

 

Anyway there are no quick fixes here at a guess. I guess the question is are you up to it?

 

For fark sake don't make a decision based on financial benefits.

 

You haven't mentioned how long you have been together and the circumstances.

[Old Hippie]

Run now.If you are that worried about the kids, help them out, but lose this women, she is clearly going to cause you far more pain than you will want to deal with.

 

My Ex wife, "The Pinay from hell" had bipolar/manic depression...she went on and off her meds for years, which I had NO clue about. I finally had enough of her shit, and gave her the boot. That was when I found out the whole truth about what the "real deal" was. By then I'd had enough. Sometimes in life, you need to worry about, and take care of, your self first. You can't help anyone when they are dragging you down. Good luck.

[sanddawg1]

I'm with OH on this; cut her loose

 

I was also married to a nut-job it does not get better with time!!!

[bust]

My Ex wife, "The Pinay from hell" had bipolar/manic depression...she went on and off her meds for .

 

Get the fuck out of here.......mine too...

 

Now I chase neurotic asian girls all over the place...

[buffalo_bill]

Gentlemen ,

 

this man might truely like Madame , it does not make things that easy.

[candyfloss]

Mmmmmm ................. tricky.

[The_Munchmaster]

Do not marry her in her present condition. That doesn't mean you have to abandon her or her daughters, but just don't make the marriage commitment until you know what's really wrong with her / if she's going to recover.

 

However good luck whatever you decide to do.