My first, and last, GTG experience

[Guest]

Hi,

 

I think you guys are right. Problem I had was that I felt as though I were under a microscope the entire time, with them anylizing my every move. Sizing me up for future reference. While we had made the commitment beforehand, to not get involved romantically, I had the feeling I was being looked at as a possible candidate for future plans.

 

They were all really very nice. I suppose I took their cautious approach as standoffish, instead of what it was.....a cultural thing where you can't just jump into a fun relationship with a GTG. It's all much more formal than that. I never expected to even hold this girls hand during our meeting, but the level of protection surrounding her was exstreme. Because we had made the commitment to not get involved, I figured she could let her hair down a bit, but seemed as though I was still being looked at as a future asset.

 

Nok was a very beautiful, loving person.....if you were her good friend. Getting there obviously required some very serious time and effort. More than I was/am willing to give. I have no doubt she would make a great wife. Unfortunately, I am not looking for one.

 

She did not sour me on GTG's. Actually, I was quite lucky to have met her, as opposed to someone else. She just made me realize first hand, the amount of effort/commitment required to get even marginally close to a non-bargirl Thai. And in the end, her suspicion of all falang being whoremongers was true,, in least in my case. We did not work, not because my expectations were too high, but because her's were.

 

HT

 

PS...to poster...yes, we met on BKKChat.

[JJsushi]

You had a good learning experience in my estimation, nothing wrong with that. I wouldn't sour on non-prostitutes if I were you, I am sure you will find one that you can connect with. I think that you basically got involved with a chick that had a cyber-persona and her real world persona couldn't relate to you.

 

I also don't buy into the myth of the traditional, chaste GTG that many here espouse. There is no hard fast way to interact with them. Follow their lead is the best advice I can give on that. They are all not traditional in their manners or behavior.

I don't know the age group or background of the young lady you were involved with but I seriously doubt if she was the "traditional" GTG. GTG's do indeed sleep around, take drugs, cuss, have mean tempers, can be malicious, vindictive, party animals, etc as any other woman can be. There is nothing special about them. The minute you let go of characterizing women in a good girl vs bad girl category I think the easier it will be in interacting with all of them. There are no good and bad girls;only those that respect you or disrespect you.

 

You mentioned several times that they were really nice and wonderful people as if that wwas their saving grace but the honest truth was that they were not . You were injured and you were in pain and they did not give a shit. You were a member of their traveling party and they showed no compassion. Good people would give a shit and help you regardless of their suspicions about your extra-curricular activities. There was no excuse for their callousness.

[Guest]

>>>GTG's do indeed sleep around, take drugs, cuss, have mean tempers, can be malicious, vindictive, party animals, etc as any other woman can be. There is nothing special about them. <<<

 

what you describe here thais generally label as 'dek thiaow', which in my books i would call a lot less trustworthy than a bargirl. you can really have fun with them kind of girls, but i would definatley not consider anything serious with them.

 

and yeah, the ideal of the 'chaste' thai girl is still around (even though a lot less nowadays), but one of the reasons they are so elusive is that you won't see much of them in the usual hangouts, not in the discos, and definately not in the assorted internet chatrooms.

they go to school, and then go home. than they work, and go home. then they get married and have children and stay home.

they work very hard, so they won't be found that much in the nightlife spots - 16 to 20 hours work a day no day off does not leave you that much energy to go carousing...

 

how do i know? well, i have been with such a girl for the last nine years, and before we met, that was more or less her life since she was 12 years old - working 16 to 20 hours a day, with generally 2 days off a year (well, apart from the two years she was a nun). her holiday highlight of her life was, before we met, a one week organised bus trip down south with her work collegues.

[Guest]

>>>>You mentioned several times that they were really nice and wonderful people as if that wwas their saving grace but the honest truth was that they were not . You were injured and you were in pain and they did not give a shit. You were a member of their traveling party and they showed no compassion. Good people would give a shit and help you regardless of their suspicions about your extra-curricular activities. There was no excuse for their callousness.<<<

 

Hi JJ,

 

I hear what you are saying. They really did nothing wrong, in a really bad way. But I was quite taken back by the alienation aspect. My problem is that I don't know if it is because of a common cultural difference, or just not caring, or callousness, as you put it very well. In any case, it is why I said, "never again". I don't want to critisize what may be a normal Thai courting procedure, but if that was the case, then I don't have the patience for it. If it was just plain rudeness, as I suspect it was, then I don't have the patience for that, either.

 

The whole purpose to us meeting was to get to know each other better. Pretty hard to do when she is surrounded with bodyguards, protecting her, and my, every move.

 

The fact is, she was not what she projected herself to be. A fun loving girl, who wanted us to meet, and have a great time together. I must say, last week, I sent her an email describing what I thought was really fucked up about her actions. I detailed all the things that I thought were strange, concidering our previous relationship via emails, and why I felt a certain disappointment with our time together. I told her I did not expect her to reply, but wanted to get my feelings off my chest. Included was my feelings of why I thought certain actions by her, were very rude, in any culture.

 

I've not heard back from her, and don't expect to. I really have mixed feelings about this. Her friend, Meow, was really very nice. I spent most of my time with her, and at one point, towards the end of our trip, she said, "It's hard, because you have so much to talk about on internet, but when you meet, not too much to say". I tell her, "I have plenty to say, but I think Nok in love with gay guy. I give up already. I think maybe she is married to him, already". She says,"Nok like gay guy because she think he is funny".

 

Go figure?????? I'm back online now, so will probably chat with Meow in the near future, and get her take on this whole thing.

 

If I find any revelations through her, I'll post here to update. I just can't figure this one out.

 

HT

 

 

[june11]

Yes, as JJS implied above, you shouldn't generalize your experience to all "GTG's" ......A date with other ones could be totally different, despite some common cultural traits. I personally, would never go on a "date" if her friends were part of the date....and if that means no date at all, then no date for me.

[Guest]

>>>I personally, would never go on a "date" if her friends were part of the date....<<<

 

then, i guess, you will have serious difficulties to really date here anyone. jeez, in in my days of the wild life, when i had a date with a bargirl (as opposed to a paid encounter) there were often friends along.

some things you just have to accept here - this is not the west...

[pattaya127]

 

I did get drilled pretty hard about girl whose phone I used to call them with. They said, "she does not know anything about you. Why you use her phone"?.......they were very suspicious of my activities. Towards the end, was showing gay guy digital photo's I had taken of him and Meow, and a triple header I had done in the days before came up.

--------------------

 

not sure I understand. You let another TG know that your phone belonged to another girl, you are showing "naughty" pix to her friend, the gay guy, and then you wonder why she loses even more interest in you? Any TG would, IMO. They are jealous, and certainly suspicious, and not concealing such obvious traces will do it.

Anyway, your mind seemed made up about her, by then, and she seems like so many internet chatters, open and promising behind the safety of a screen, but frightened virgins (or not) in reality (oh, my B....! I'm dating a farang, i'm dating a farang, quick, I need a gay chaperon....").

[pattaya127]

I personally, would never go on a "date" if her friends were part of the date

--------------------------------

I think it's the wrong way to go about it. More than half the time, it's the way "proper" girls will do in LOS. Just to drop someone you are interested in because they act in a manner that is a proper way in their country seems shallow, IMO. have no fear, they'll come alone soon enough.

But sure, there will still be plenty to date you alone, but really, why have such a pre-requisite?

[check_bin_krap]

"I think it's the wrong way to go about it. More than half the time, it's the way "proper" girls will do in LOS. "

 

For once I agree 100% with you P127! We play on their turf and its wise to adapt to it!

 

Cheers!

[cardinalblue]

June11,

 

Dating non-BGS does seem to involve having companionship/security along with them for the first couple or few dates. If she is sincerely interested and comfortable with you, she will eventually interact with you on a one to one basis. This can take a long time in your eyes.

 

Remember, individuality and self concept are not strong traits in the thai culture. Thai people function in a group mentality and are cooperative in nature.

 

It takes patience and time on your part until she is willing to spend time with you alone but really they will never break away completely from this group mentality unless you relocate her to a western environment which can wear down this group mentality/cooperative but only to a point.

 

So if you really want to date non-bgs, get use to dealing with her support network of family and friends. Many guys have told me and i see it myself in dating nice non-bgs you are "marrying" the family and not just the individual so it is something you will have to accept and deal with if you are serious about thai culture. ...

 

 

Cardinalblue