My first, and last, GTG experience

[Guest]

Yeah bro the gay guy is always a problem, I remember my last trip to Bk I hooked up with a Freelancer I met on the street she was student makin extra cash and had a bod and a-ss that was to die for. We had wild sex the first night I was with her. But the second night the gay guy and best firend came into the picture I paid for the dinner and I was almost taken for a fool when she wanted me to take her friends and family out shopping at the shopping mall to buy them cloths and jewlery lol I ditched her in a second!

[pattaya127]

She was just puuying I didn't know, who let me use her phone".

-----------------------------

Sorry, I understood that you had the phone and told her who it belonged to.

[Guest]

HT,

 

Read through the entire thread and intentionally replying to the original post. My current understanding of this "relationship" was around 100 hours of webbased discussion (through whatever software). Additionally, you had never met in person before the trip.

 

So both of you agree to met each other once in Bangkok (HRC, Siam Square) and then met each other the next week for the 4 day (?) trip to Chumpon and Kho Tao.

 

**************************************

 

My feeling on this, it does not matter that both of you agreed on this! In the Thai girls mind she is talking to a farang on the net who she has never met, but, would like to use as an opportunity to go on a holiday with friends (i.e easier to explain to her parents why she is going on a holiday, vs money. by the sounds of it it was shared cost to some extent)

 

In my opinion the mere fact you have done no time face-to-face prior to this holiday meant the only option a normal conservative Thai girl has is to remain shy! Whilst there are acceptable levels of behaviour, the result you posted was what I expected. Now had the following occur :

 

* 100 Hour net based discussion

* 1-2 weeks of seeing each other in Bangkok (or Home Province, city if outside Bangkok)

* then holiday with friends.

 

I am sure you would not have been "excluded" at the level you perceive you were on this trip. Additionally, how good is your Thai? Maybe there was a real language barrier (i.e either in ability or confidence). For example, my cousin who lives with me is a 16-18 yr old Thai girl who is extremely shy! When she gets on the Karoake she has excellent english pronouciation, why can't she use that pronouciation ability in day-to-day conversation. Because she has no confidence!

 

I am rambling here, I hope in some coherent way! Ultimately, if you had done some "face" time in her local area (i.e where she was comfortable) then I am sure you would have had a much better holiday!

 

Sanukboot.

 

PS calling from a girls mobile is a definite no-no, whilst it can be overcome it will cause problems initially and usually will be overcome with a lot more "face" time over the course of the next few weeks! The more "face" time the more confidence the girl will have in you!

 

PPS. Just some information if people think I don't know what I am talking. My wife and I met on the net 5-6 years ago and have been married for nearly 2 years! Maybe I need to post a "story" on my relationship!

 

 

[JJsushi]

Says think_too_mut:

---

> Falling in love with a bargirl is a self-destructive act. At least from a long-distance aspect. There is no way you will win. The only thing you will ultimatly get out of it, is a lot of heart-ache, and pain.

 

HT,

Now you are back to your teritory and you are right as always when it comes to the bg world.

 

Honestly, if I were for a gtg, I would have stayed with my farang girls, that's where I have always had success.

 

Mixing with Thai middle class - fine for those who like it - but the gtgs' counterparts in farangland are much more easier to deal with. IME.

---

 

I sometimes have that perspective too. If I want a highly educated, upwardly mobile, middle class woman that I can relate to from a similar backround then my best bet is a Farang woman. The basic differences for me is that the woman is not physically or culturally a Thai.

The Thai equivalent takes a considerable investment IMO. I have messed with enough of them to realize that I cannot make a certain committment or more importantly compromise to meet certain expectations at this point in my life.

[Guest]

Hi traveler_nyc,

 

I never stated, or thought, this was the perfect girl. In fact, I said on a number of occasions that this could easily be a disaster. I never lied to her about sanuking. She never asked, and I never brought it up. I spent 3 weeks there, but only set aside 3 days for her. I never intended to spend entire time with her. Purpose was to meet her, get to know her better, and develop a friend relationship with a good Thai girl. A new experience for me, as I've only ever known Bargirls there.

 

As I said before, we both agreed before hand that getting romantically involved was not a good idea, due to the distance between us. She said early on she was not looking for a boyfriend (she ended a 5 year relationship with a Thai guy 1 year ago). In the beginning, on internet, we talked for hours about the Thai prostitution scene. Knowing I had only been to Thailand 6 times before, she had to know I have been with a Thai hooker before, due to the amount of knowledge I shared with her. I will say I have never lied to this girl once. Always been 100% honest with her. I may have not shared everything with her, but I never was untruthful. And this through over 100 hours of chat with her, before coming to LOS.

 

As far as having a sit-down with her? First of all, it was unbearably hot. I mean I was soaked 10 minutes out of the shower there, day and night. Extremely uncomfortable atmosphere. Also having stitches put into my foot 2nd day there, was in extreme pain, and did just not seem worth the effort. On first day there, when everyone was taking pictures, and I turned to her, and said, "Nok, can I take your picture", and she said "No. Mai chawp", I pretty much knew where this was going. Also, what was I going to say? "Pay some attention to me". That's pretty fucked up to have to do. If she started to after that, I would know it was only because I had asked her to. And a sit-down could have easily turned into an aurgument, which would have made things even more uncomfortable for me. The flight to BKK out of Chumphon only flies 3 times a week, so I was pretty much stranded there. Decide to just make the best of it, and spent my time dreaming of my beloved bargirls back in BKK. Most knew I was spending 3 days with GTG, and were ALL very sympathetic to my plight, when I got back. :: They knew just what I needed to heal my wounds....... ::

 

HT

 

 

[Guest]

Hi SanukBoot,

 

You are correct on how we met.

 

I agree on not the best way to meet. Especially in the harsh climate of Koh Tao, where all you can concentrate on is how to find relief from the oppressive heat, and hard to concentrate on little else. I came earlier than was convenient for me, because this timeframe was a Thai holiday, and the only time her friends could get off work, to come. I would have much preferred to spend first two weeks meeting for dinners, etc., and then going to Koh Tao the last week. Just couldn't be worked that way, for them.

 

On being shy....I think this was definiatly part of it. She had stated she was shy beforehand, and that I should be prepared for her to not be able to speak English like she types. She stressed this several times. I did call her 4-5 times from Hawaii before going, and getting her to say anything was very tough. It's quite amazing on how she can have a massive English vocabulary and perfect sentence structure and spelling on computer, yet cannot form the words for speech.

 

Being shy, and not confident in speech, played a big part in this. If she was out to soak me just for a free vacation, she would have played things differently. She has always dreamed of coming to Hawaii, and knew that if I liked her, that would be in the cards for her, because we had talked about this several times. My problem with this is that if she knew she was this shy, and would not be interacting with me, then she should not have agreed to go on holiday with me.

 

I don't know. Still very confussing. She bought me a large leather sheet, hand cut into an intricate Thai scene, when she went to the south for Songkran, which she presented to me the first day. Paid for several dinners, the boat ride for all of us to and from Kho Tao, etc. I know a scam when I see it. More to this than that, although I don't know what.

 

If I had injured myself while talking on the net, she would have gone on for an hour about it. Happens in real life, and both times it's gay guy and Meow who help bandage it, while Nok just stands there just looking, afraid to get near me.

 

I'll never figure this one out. ::

 

HT

 

[jitagawn]

[color:"red"] [/color] [color:"red"] [/color] I sometimes have that perspective too. If I want a highly educated, upwardly mobile, middle class woman that I can relate to from a similar backround then my best bet is a Farang woman. The basic differences for me is that the woman is not physically or culturally a Thai.

 

 

I agree with this statement 1000%. I happen to be a person who is required by work situaion to literally go back and forth at 2-4 month intervals AHHmeriiica toThailand. and while I

enjoy the cultural background similarities with American women I am ,I believe hooked on Thai cultural-physical qualities. NOt an easy situation but one I try to keep in perspective -someone has to try this...

[jitagawn]

I sometimes have that perspective too. If I want a highly educated, upwardly mobile, middle class woman that I can relate to from a similar backround then my best bet is a Farang woman. The basic differences for me is that the woman is not physically or culturally a Thai.

 

 

I agree with this statement 1000%. I happen to be a person who is required by my work situation to literally go back and forth at 2-4 month intervals AHHmeriiica toThailand. and while I

enjoy the cultural background similarities with American women I am ,I believe hooked on Thai cultural-physical qualities. NOt an easy situation but one I try to keep in perspective -I guess someone has to try this... :: ::

I do feel sort of shizo tho sometimes :dunno:as I have sort of two lives...sometimes a seamless shift- sometimes not.

[Guest]

Sorry HT, wasn't trying to put any blame onto you for what happened! Seems like you went way out of your way to be accomondating to the girl AND her friends...

 

I guess for me it just gets down to my main opinion that face time is very important before things go too far. Maybe going away on a holiday is going "too far" too soon. If it was your second trip to Thailand with her it may have been a smoother, easier situation. Not a criticism of you, just a comment on the pitfalls of Internet relationships. They can definitely work. It's just that you can't substitute face time with 100 hours of talk. It's gets you a long way into someone's head, but doesn't replace the normal "get to know you's" of face to face meetings. So, maybe you guys just dove in to quickly which led her to be "shy" and act in this way to you.

 

Frankly, reading your posts I am definitely on your side, given the way they behaved when you hurt yourself, etc...

 

 

[check_bin_krap]

"If I had injured myself while talking on the net, she would have gone on for an hour about it. Happens in real life, and both times it's gay guy and Meow who help bandage it, while Nok just stands there just looking, afraid to get near me."

.............................................................................

My thoughts reading all this is that in farangland, this could have happened with a immature teenage girl on the net. Who got over her head on chat and regretted it later. I doubt that it was planned to get a free holiday, doesn't seem like she was scamming. Probably the whole experience was as awkward for her as for you.

 

Still HT, you are one experience wiser...

 

Cheers!