JJsushi Posted November 17, 2003 Report Share Posted November 17, 2003 I am in a semi-sort of-kind of undefined(from my view) relationship with a Thai chick. She has a decent but low paying BKK job and the majority of her expenses are picked up by the family. One of the family perks is a pretty nice condo in a secure building with guards(this part is important). Anyway, we go to a club with a bunch of her friends, during the course of the evening some Thai guy starts talking to her, She introduces him to the rest of us and then they start yapping away to each other (I thought it was a regular friend she knew). What bugged me was the inordinate amount of time they spent talking with each other(10minutes ) and then he gave her his mobile number(if he was already a friend then why was he giving her his number?). We get back to her place and I have a couple of questions about this guy. I nonchalantly bring him up and she tells me that he was an ex-boyfriend from years before that had just returned home from studyng overseas (Spidey senses are tingling here but no real concern because my relationship with her is not that serious from my pespective). I am a little pissed however that I had to ASK about this guy before she divulged he was an ex-boyfriend. Why didn't she tell me at the club? Normally, I would have let the topic drop but having been with a few Thai chicks through the years I realized I had to make this a dramatic, emotionally expressive event filled with accusations even though logically there was no need to. So I accuse her of taking his number to hook up with him again and be the perfect little "Thai" couple she denies everything giving me oaths of virtue blah . . blah. . . blah. I accuse her of being embarassed of being with a "farang", which she deflects as me being crazy. I then assail his intentions/motivations saying that if he wasn't looking to be with her again then maybe he was looking for sex. She defends his honor and hers saying that I am talking crazy blah. . .blah. . .blah. I then say well why would he give u his number if it is all so innocent, unless of course you were flirting with him and sending him signals to do something in the future blah. . .blah. . .blah. Well as all emotional exchanges go this one soon got out of hand because she then began atttacking me and my roving eye. She brought up an incident that happend to us previously that sort of touched the below the belt category in my book. I of course said something way out of line and off base in response. I said "Well with the way you flirt with everyone I wouldn't be surprised if the security guard(of her condo) didn't think you wanted to sleep with him!". That did it. Her face turned purple, her eyes filled with tears and she stopped breathing as if I had kicked her in the stomach. She screamed at me "Why do you say I would sleep with a dog!?!". Realizing I had entered a no-fly-zone, I tried to backtrack with logic. "Wait a minute honey, I said security guard not dog! I also said FLIRTING and him THINKING you wanted to sleep with him. I never said you wanted to sleep with him! " My logic was useless against her belief in what she interpreted. "Security guard is the same as dog! Why would you say I would sleep with dog!?!! " I have never seen this girl explode and get upset like this before She was furious and her face was like the freaking Nile river. I don't think I could have ever gotten such a response from her emotionally. I don't think I have ever insulted a Thai woman to that degree. About 3 hours later I was able to smooth it out but it took a couple of days for things to get back to normal. What was basically a calculated endeavor on my part to secure relationship leverage turned into a freaking fiasco with me making reparations. Can anyone shed light on this security guard equals dog analogy? I mean did I touch some Thai taboo concerning security guards? The guards are Issan but I don't think that has anything to do with it. I am thinking it was more of a status issue but why the hell would that come into play during an argument concerning fidelity/flirting/etc? Would it have been more important if I used the building manager instead of the security guard? BTW- I never did get the full story on that ex-boyfriend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spike Posted November 17, 2003 Report Share Posted November 17, 2003 call me uninformed or ignorant but why would you put this young lady through the wringer like this if you were only in a casual relationship? 10 minutes of talking with an ex-boyfriend doesn't seem a capital offense. i am the complete opposite. verbal tangos are something i try to stay away from at all costs. watch your blood pressure, unless you get enjoyment from this type of scene. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted November 17, 2003 Report Share Posted November 17, 2003 "...BTW- I never did get the full story on that ex-boyfriend..." This may be the most important part here... Not wanting to make something here when I don't know all the facts, this seems very similar to an argument I had with a long time girl friend of sorts a few years back. Before any questions could be answered, she went totally emotional, and confused all the issues, and my main question, "who was that guy you were holding hands with on Soi 7 when you told me you were home in Nong Kai...?" Ultimately, she got insulted, and very emotional "...how dare me accuse her..." I never got the answer there either... see any familiarity or "tactics" here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Posted November 17, 2003 Report Share Posted November 17, 2003 Just curious, but were you guys sitting in way where it was obvious you were 'together'? Or did it seem like you were just part of the group with no particular tie to her? Did her body language change when he arrived if you two were sitting as if you were 'together'? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddha Posted November 17, 2003 Report Share Posted November 17, 2003 It is unclear to me what really is going on. Old Hippie raises an excellent theory. In addition I cannot help but get the feeling that the original poster has more feelings for this girl than he is letting on. I'm not pointing the finger or trying to make fun, but it all seems comically avoidable. All of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted November 17, 2003 Author Report Share Posted November 17, 2003 Says spike: call me uninformed or ignorant but why would you put this young lady through the wringer like this if you were only in a casual relationship? 10 minutes of talking with an ex-boyfriend doesn't seem a capital offense. i am the complete opposite. verbal tangos are something i try to stay away from at all costs. watch your blood pressure, unless you get enjoyment from this type of scene. I put her through the wringer because THEY ALL put me through the wringer! Sometimes you just gotta do it! Thai girls(and most women in my experience for that matter) got this weird thing about jealousy being a sign of caring/love/devotion/etc. Now I only dated chicks in the 19-27 range so I can't say that older women are the same. I don't like arguing either but with some women it has to be done. Maybe it will change once I get married? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted November 17, 2003 Author Report Share Posted November 17, 2003 Says chocolat steve: Just curious, but were you guys sitting in way where it was obvious you were 'together'? Or did it seem like you were just part of the group with no particular tie to her? Did her body language change when he arrived if you two were sitting as if you were 'together'? Their exchange was totally harmless. The guy did nothing wrong and everything was proper. I made it an issue because I wanted it to be an issue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted November 18, 2003 Author Report Share Posted November 18, 2003 Says buddha: It is unclear to me what really is going on. Old Hippie raises an excellent theory. In addition I cannot help but get the feeling that the original poster has more feelings for this girl than he is letting on. I'm not pointing the finger or trying to make fun, but it all seems comically avoidable. All of it. Of course it was all avoidable as are most arguments, that was not my point. I am really interested in the security guard = dog analogy. She seemed to be extremely insulted by that singular remark alone more than anything else said. Her reaction went way beyond anger, her reaction reflected pure hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted November 18, 2003 Report Share Posted November 18, 2003 >I am really interested in the security guard = dog analogy. She seemed to be extremely insulted by that singular remark alone more than anything else said. I've got security guard (one main and 2 aides, 24x7) but they are well respected. My gf addresses them as "Pi" and they are generally professionaly cold and efficient. As they are in the position to do little favours to the tenants, she is always nice to them, so am I. I can't imagine them being called dogs. As OH said, it could be a smoke screen manouvre to divert attention, riding on an "insult" of being coupled with someone she may genuinely consider a lower class. IMO, the more she insisted on it, deeper the trouble she wanted to get out of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted November 18, 2003 Report Share Posted November 18, 2003 "...I don't like arguing either but with some women it has to be done. Maybe it will change once I get married?..." NO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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