MaiLuk Posted December 14, 2003 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2003 Rogers and Goldstein however came up with an interesting take on Maslow's pyramid and stated that self actualisation was the driving force in every person's life. So almost everybody is at one time or another involved in self actualisation. However, the more problems we have, the less time and energy we can devote to reaching our full potential. Not a driving force for everyone. I know alot of people, ALOT of people, who have loads of time on their hands and not many problems but seek out nothing. They might spend each and every evening watching TV, and studying the tv guide when not watching, mapping out their tv watching week. Maybe they are free of worry and useless thoughts so are actualized already Mr Farang who moves to thailand is different from joe public back in farangland. So do I think that we actually descend to a lower step of the pyramid when we get involved with a thai girl? No, I think it has nothing to do with it. Agreed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted December 14, 2003 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2003 wtf is this mumbo jumbo ....have a beer its much more easy than all this carry on....... hehe. Well i'm always having a beer, then read the ramblings on this board where everyone (me included) hyper analyze thai girls even tho in the end we barely know what we're rambling about. Thought i would see if we could figure out mr farang this time, since we should be able to write books about that subject. No lengthy posts written here about mr farang, i noticed :: ::. IMO we spend too much time digging into the psyches of tgs here, but if we ask a question about our own motives we shy away. Knowing what drives tgs is useless if we don't know what it is about ourselves that causes us to journey to LOS and choose one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted December 14, 2003 Report Share Posted December 14, 2003 in the end we barely know what we're rambling about. -------------------------- I beg your pardon...... How insulting!!!!!!!!!! :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 14, 2003 Report Share Posted December 14, 2003 MaiLuk said: wtf is this mumbo jumbo ....have a beer its much more easy than all this carry on....... Knowing what drives tgs is useless if we don't know what it is about ourselves that causes us to journey to LOS and choose one. Mailuk- You are my kind of thinker. And while I'm in total agreement with you here I think this then could easily go into the 'too close for comfort realm' for many guys. Knowing nothing about the posters here behind the avatars it's of course speculation, but I wonder sometimes if even the many long time posters really know their emotions well, and if the 'too close for comfort' applies to this community, or not, like it does to so many communities of men in general it seems. All conjecture on my part, of course, but it I put this forth because I sincerely believe that many men are 'divorced' from their feelings and this is where a lot of the problems between genders arise. The farang $tatu$ and thai women thread is to me an example of that paradox. Men are 'afraid' they are loved only for their money while women, the good women that cent and suadum were speaking of, crave, in addition to the security of money, to relate to men, and be fulfilled by the relationship on an emotional- 'feeling' level. The men that are comfortable relating their feelings and emotions to women in their lives are far more likely to succeed in relationships, especially if they find the supportive women who is more than just a gold digger. The quality women that cent and suadum refer to come to mind here. IMHO many men equate their money to be the sum of their inherent worth to women while to most decent women the money is secondary and seek an emotional bond with men as the highest priority. Can us guys go there, or not? Well, it comes down to how comfortable we are with our feelings, how comfortably we can, or cannot relate, these feelings to our partners and 'if' we can at all and to what degree. That then will determine the measure of success in a relationship IMO. Two great examples, in film, that come to mind are Leaving Las Vegas and American Beauty. To me Leaving Las Vegas was all about a man that was so afraid to face his feelings that it doomed the marriage and snowballed to divorce, then to ultimate alienation (from family and self) to where it was 'easier', in his divorced-from-his-feelings-mind for him to make the choice to drink himself to death. American Beauty, while not so conveniently fitting my model here, portrayed a next-door neighbor homophobe who was a deeply closeted, and thus conflicted emotionally homosexual himself. You have to watch it a couple of times to make all the connections, but recall the wife sitting at her dining table with that blank, million miles away stare in her demeanor. That was a stare of a woman emotionally estranged from her longtime husband, a woman who had discovered too late there was no fulfillment in her marriage. Why? Simply, because she'd married a man who was hiding in the closet his whole life, a man who no doubt had no desire to be intimate with his wife, and for so many years this went on that she was left to sit starry eyed and wonder what 'she' had possibly done wrong. Where had her (emotional life) gone wrong? It wasn't her fault, but the estranged emotional void couldn't very well articulate that to her in her situation, could it. Movie ended with him making that trembling, inner-turmoil quivering attempt to come onto Kevin Spacey in the garage, due to his reading his neighbors sexuality wrong. The one time in his life he'd faced the truth and was ready to make a leap to the truth and he got shut down for it. Ouch! What a humiliation! Results? Why, he had to go back and kill the only guy who new the secret of the closeted him. In both these movies you see men who are seriously estranged from their feelings and emotions and the consequences that come as a result. Many men, from what I read, seem to suffer this estrangement and refuse to go anywhere near their feelings no matter what the costs. Maybe many of them end up in the LoS too. Might even be some that stopped reading at this point, we cannot know. I do know if anyone bristles at reading this then it's a sign to them and the lesson becomes for them to fathom this 'feeling' void, if they can venture there. For those that cannot and will not, like the Leaving Los Vegas types, well the costs to both genders are greater than we realize IMHO. I wonder if you are aware of the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Test. I think a Maslow pyramid and Myers-Briggs complement each other very well. Myers-Briggs tells you how you relate to the world at large and some people come to find they are trying to relate one way when their innate "personality type" is actually another. For those people, and I was one, to be put on the right track and be lead to the true real self laying in wait beneath the false 'persona' (A Jungian term) is a milestone in one's life. Then too, i might have, with this post just sunk this thread into oblivion. If such is the case i hereby apologise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chilli13 Posted December 14, 2003 Report Share Posted December 14, 2003 well GoHook, interesting twist to the thread & if you don't get any more replies I guess you've been spot on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted December 14, 2003 Report Share Posted December 14, 2003 The men that are comfortable relating their feelings and emotions to women in their lives are far more likely to succeed in relationships -------------------------------- I regret that the thread about status was taken as simplistic greed from thai women (maybe my fault with using $ for S). it had more to do with the situation of farangs within a thai/farang relationship, as far as providing only like an average thai could. Never mind..... I take exception to the women seemingly seeking for a good man, not rich, but emotionally there. How many times have i heard one say that the guy could be a scavenger, she could not care less if he is a good man, and this is total bullshit on her part. I have known enough women (in Thailand and malaysia) who said that, and see that actually, a scavenger will AND did not do. I still think there are many cultural obstacles for many farangs to succed in a thai/them RT, even when passing the feeling and emotion test with flying colours, especially, for ex. with a family looming too close behind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soongmak Posted December 14, 2003 Report Share Posted December 14, 2003 Not a driving force for everyone. I know alot of people, ALOT of people, who have loads of time on their hands and not many problems but seek out nothing. They might spend each and every evening watching TV, and studying the tv guide when not watching, mapping out their tv watching week. Maybe they are free of worry and useless thoughts so are actualized already I hardly think that anybody is free of worries. I think it is better to have a somewhat kinder look at the people who seem to have given up on themselves and have surrendered to the TV. Many people have an absolute lack of confidence in themselves which prevents them to actually achieve something, while others have realized that they do not have the skills or the intellect to make a difference in the real world. I sincerely believe that most people want to be special and make something out of them selves, but harsh everyday reality has gotten the best of them. Cheers, soongmak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.. Posted December 14, 2003 Report Share Posted December 14, 2003 Great post. I like Myers-Briggs/Keirsey Sorter. I used it to assess candidates for overseas postings when I worked for Ford. And used it to assemble team members for certain projects. M-B shows one their strengths and weaknesses and allows for well balanced teams. FWIW, I test out as a IxTJ, which combines ISTJ and INTJ, but I think my personality is more INTJ. Cheers, SD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thalenoi Posted December 14, 2003 Report Share Posted December 14, 2003 Yeah, Maslow....that's an old story..I happened to study psychology....there's a LOT more than that out there.... But, I do live with an ex-bg since two years and for sure, we are at different levels in Maslow's pyramid, so what??? Our relationship is exciting because of our differences, and I will not begin trying to pinpoint just that. What is fascinating is our statement: regardless our differences we stay toghether because we make each other happy. The day happiness vanishes, our relationship will be over. We do discuss this quite often, and we do have problems we try to resolve. These problems belong to ALL of Maslov's levels. So, to hell with Maslov.... :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted December 15, 2003 Report Share Posted December 15, 2003 So, to hell with Maslov.... -------------------------- I bet your son would say that too!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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