Guest lazyphil Posted February 29, 2004 Report Share Posted February 29, 2004 <<Are there any relationships where the woman helps with the bills do you think?>> We have a joint account where our wages go into and bills are paid out of it by direct debit monthly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 29, 2004 Report Share Posted February 29, 2004 well IME even the most basic street food is 20 baht a person, unless you go for 5 baht plain rice ................ well add a 5 baht 'shit on a stick' i guess one 'could' do it, but not what anyone I know would call a "meal" IMO 100 baht for 4 is about bottom bottom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
check_bin_krap Posted February 29, 2004 Report Share Posted February 29, 2004 "Are there any relationships where the woman helps with the bills do you think?-peter " ............................................................................. I am not in Thai relationship now, but I can speak of mine with ex. We had seperate accounts, split bills 60/40. I paid 60 percent as I made more money than her. When we divorced, 60/40 it was also when it came to house etc. We never had this in writing, mutual consent. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 29, 2004 Report Share Posted February 29, 2004 <<<"4. food =4500 Too high." I took 3 Thai ladies and myself out one day to where Thais eat. We had excellent food, and the bill - including water was 40 baht (and that is for 4 people)>>> This must be in that same neighborhood where you buy those 4000 baht 25 inch TVs. I eat all over Bangkok and I've never seen a bowl of kway tiao for less than 15 baht - anywhere. (And even that price is very hard to come by and only in the distant suburbs, not anywhere near the CBD.) Four people in Bangkok cannot have noodles - much less a full dinner - for 40 baht. Not going to happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted February 29, 2004 Report Share Posted February 29, 2004 >and the bill - including water was 40 baht (and that is for 4 people) Guys, let's wait for MightyMouse to clarify this one. TTM - moderator. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thai3 Posted March 6, 2004 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2004 Well it seems not, after three years I got this email today after I had said I would send her 8000 from next month, which according to her own figures would mean she had enough for monthly expenses: ok, if it is so much for you about money , do not send to me . i think and decide I am not good and not perfect for you . I do not want to think about money and you do not send the moeny to me and you can save money to see Jintara .. Good luck ,,, and do not check email anymore and hope you see the good woman who dont think about money .. xxxxx Seems pretty final, or is it just a ploy to make me give into her? Not decided what to do about it yet, She does not know I just bought her a car for her birthday for when I thought she would be in UK, I am soooo stingy!-peter -- edited to remove name - BB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 6, 2004 Report Share Posted March 6, 2004 Hello Peter I have been following your saga with interest, and I think you are going to be better off in the long run to move on with your life. Whether it is a ploy or not on her part, does not really matter, it is how you feel about your situation that really counts, you are having an internal battle between your heart and your brain about what to do, and whatever decision you make will have lasting repercussions. This one may not be for you, but I am sure you will find another, I did! All The Best Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 6, 2004 Report Share Posted March 6, 2004 thai3 said: Well it seems not, after three years I got this email today after I had said I would send her 8000 from next month, which according to her own figures would mean she had enough for monthly expenses: ok, if it is so much for you about money , do not send to me . i think and decide I am not good and not perfect for you . I do not want to think about money and you do not send the moeny to me and you can save money to see Jintara .. Good luck ,,, and do not check email anymore and hope you see the good woman who dont think about money .. xxxxx Well Peter, I too have been following your plight. As others say. It may or may not be a deliberate ploy. For sure you are in the kineo shit pile though I have found that many of the girls have VERY set ideas about what your generousity should be like to their families. Not to doubt that their own is also sincere and often boundless. We as farangs have a difficult time accepting this and and often an impossible task understanding or rationalizing it. So IMO, unless you are willing to give her free reign, now and in the future, as to the disposition of your finances in regards to her family, there can not IMO be a successful resolution to this loggerhead. Maybe one of those situations that there is no 'right' or 'wrong' just a clash of concepts that can not ever be resolved. I would worry that her response is mostly emotional, and a bit bitter. Not a promising sign for future 'rational discussions'. Sad, but probably best to think about moving on. Unless she is the 'one and only' and in that case you have to stop struggling in the net and simply give her everything, no matter what you believe is fair. Not a easy choice for anyone, but some of us will still be there to support you regardless of your decision. Seems pretty final, or is it just a ploy to make me give into her? Not decided what to do about it yet, She does not know I just bought her a car for her birthday for when I thought she would be in UK, I am soooo stingy!-peter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidsanuk Posted March 6, 2004 Report Share Posted March 6, 2004 The topic of money can be a difficult one. I have been with my TG wife in OZ for 2 years now, and at first her constant concern about money quite worried me. How much do we have in the bank? How much she has in her own account? When will we put the appartment in both names? When will we update our wills? Now I am over it. I have tried to put myself in her shoes. She comes from a working class family, whilst she had an OK job, in marketing, she has always had to worry about financial security, and is now maried to a foreign man, in a foreign country, with little financial security....other than me. For us farangs, financial security, I mean real life and death financial security (Not "can I afford a holiday next month"), is never a real concern. If the bottom drops out of our world, the state will generally support us. TGs don't have experience of that type of culture or safety net. What they are used to is..if you want to eat...you have to get money...somehow. So I try to be much more relaxed about money now. I explain how our finances are looking, we actually prepared wills, which was a good exercise for her, in understanding how she would be taken care of financially if I suddenly have a heart attack etc. Now we are both cool about it. She no longer gets stressed about her financial security and I no longer get concerned about her level of questions etc. And no, I don't expect to get pushed off the balcony at any time, so she can claim the insurance :-) Oh. By the way, I send 15,000 baht per month to her family. I knew what I was getting into before marrying a TG, (from this board). I can afford that much and as a good daughter she needs to help out the family. So that now includes me.....simple. I reckon that if farangs have an issue with this stuff, then they should not marry TGs. I guess the way to deal with these things is heavily dependant on the quality and depth of the relationship that you have. I have a wonderful, trusting, full-on relationship. I am very lucky. If the relationship were more casual, and we were not married, then I would perhaps be much more cautious. (No different from Farang/farang relationship) Jusy my take and ramblings.. Sid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted March 6, 2004 Report Share Posted March 6, 2004 LHL and SS were on the mark with their posts. >>>you do not send the moeny to me and you can save money to see Jintara .. Good luck ,,, and do not check email anymore and hope you see the good woman who dont think about money <<< This is no clean goodbye, for sure is designed to evoke a response. Just an inference here, she equates your limitation on the support with lack of love. Her example of you spending money on Jintara while limiting her money shows that she ranks not too high in the scheme of things, in her view. Trying to limit her to a specific number is killing your relationship, time to take a new approach. Tell her you'll give her whatever money she needs if you have it to give. She promises to limit her lifestyle to the same you are living or to some other standard acceptable to you and her. This takes the bean counting out of the picture. If she comes to farangland and it turns out she wants to be a big spender, or its her intent to send excessive amounts to the family, a fixed budget would not have made a difference anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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