Guest Posted April 2, 2004 Report Share Posted April 2, 2004 I think if he wants her to give up her money making ways,He should give her insurance for her future.60,000baht a month in a savings trust with 10-15K to live on with a solid contract on the savings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted April 3, 2004 Report Share Posted April 3, 2004 to just send her money and not require her to do anything when she is away, is just stupid.. --------------------------- Looks like we have a subject of discussion for this morning when I come over..... :: I think to send money to a GF (nice if she gets busy and constructive though) allows her the freedom to do as she pleases, and not "work with men" as an absolute need. It's to send money thinking you (have to) control her life and her sexuality that is stupid. IMO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted April 3, 2004 Report Share Posted April 3, 2004 There is a huge difference. As I stated, there is a business aspect to any relationship. It is on the same continum and finding the right balance. What matters is is it the driving force of what brings/sustains the relationship or is it a decision that is made in an effort to improve or sustain the relationship? It is not neccessarily the that all BGs are driven from the business perspective nor are all regular girls driven from the social aspect of the relationship. What is the motivation of entering the relationship? If the girl says it will take x baht for her to quit her job, her principle reason for entering into a relationship with him is money. The probability of having a successful relationship is low. If any regular girl says the same, it is the underpinngs of a busiiness relationship. There was a girl at sweetsingles dating service who was looking for a guy who would pay no less than 9 million baht dowery. That was her "business" deal up front. What is her motivation for a relationship? In a social relationship, money is not determining whether she starts a relationship with a guy or not. As we know, many of the bar girls already have thai BFs. Their relationship is not based on money at least from the girl's perspective. She wants to be with him for whatever reason. Why can't falangs accept the same? 1. moral reasons - unacceptable to work as a prostitute and have a relationship at the same time 2. He can afford her not to work. If I could not afford to have the girl quit her sales clerk job or she was making 50k Baht a month working an office job, the relationship still continues and i make due with her working as a sales clerk or whatever. We see this often where two incomes are now needed in america. This is done for financial reasons but not to determine whether to have a relationship or not. Not so with girls who say you must pay me x baht to leave my job or it will cost you x baht for a dowery. Money is the principle reason for the relationship. How much does she really care about having a relationship with him other than for financial reasons? The BG who leaves the bar because she cares about him and accepts whatever he is willing to provide for her (there is no minimum/asking stated amount) has made a social decision vs a business one. The probaility of having any kind of stable relationship is so much greater. She has probably sacrificed Baht within her priorities (social vs money) rather than the other way around.... Cardinalblue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted April 3, 2004 Report Share Posted April 3, 2004 I am not following you too well. maybe my fault. But one example: my GF's brother was either get married last year or lose his fiancee of 2 years (at least infuriate her parents if they were to go on without marriage) . In order to get married, he needed the basic 30 000 bahts sinsod + 5 bahts of gold. Is this a relationship based on money or just that money is often part of the reason why people can go on living together, getting married, or part of the problem if the dude can't come up with the money. I sure have heard it a lot from poor thai guys who say they cannot get married because "have no money!". Personally, I find that money is very simply part of the equation in a society like Thailand, farngs and thais alike, except at a certain level of enlightened middle class (modern if you wish). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted April 3, 2004 Report Share Posted April 3, 2004 JB, Since i could afford her sales clerk job salary, I gave her the option. She could have continued working is she liked her job. But if you talk to these girls (or anyone for that matter), they are only working for the money and not the enrichment/enjoyment of the experience. In this case, who wouldn't say yes getting a salary not to work at a job one doesn't like. She said yes but there no asking of how much she wasn't going to get from me. When i asked her later, she thought i was going to give her the equivalent of her 6500k baht a month salary. I ended up giving her 12k baht plus 3k incentive if she stayed with her studies but she had to pay for all studies from this amount. By freeing her up, she was/is able to study english and computers and found a 8 to 5 mon - fri job for 8k Baht a month plus commision. Her working hours became compatible with mine.... Cardinalblue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chilli13 Posted April 3, 2004 Report Share Posted April 3, 2004 sounds like a clever deal to me chok dee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted April 3, 2004 Report Share Posted April 3, 2004 P127, This issue of putting a $$ value on a relationship is my biggest gripe about thailand. I understand the tradition and all but i just don't agree with it in principle. Yes, many western weddings cost more than the dowery asking price but in the west we never say this is how much the girl/relationship is going to cost you. One knows if they have a high or low maintenance girl but the relationship is not reduced down to dollars and cents. Once a person/family starts to place a price on another human being, what is the difference of buying from the butcher. You want hamburger of top sirloin mentality ? Unfortuanately, we do this in our western legal system for work comp (cost of a hand or foot or life), medical-legal cases, wrongful death claims, and even divorce settlements. We just haven't put it on the front end of relationships yet though there has been cases where unmarried couples, the harmed person was given monetary awards when they split (i.e. the girl putting the guy through medical school on her wages and then he ends the relationship but now in a much greater earning capacity with her in the same position as before). Even if we want to play the sinsot game, enter falangs marrying poor thai women and now the actual costs can soon reflect falang-inflated prices based on the integrity or not of the thai family. Yes, the intent is trying to close the wealth discrepancy of the two parties. But how can you tell if it is done or not to gain money masked under the disguise of a loving relationship. It sends a bad message.... Cardinalblue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted April 3, 2004 Report Share Posted April 3, 2004 I totally agree with you. i consider this money thing a big difference between the 2 cultures (let's say asian and occidental, save a few countries on each side). Not just on the subject of marriage and RTs. And still, IMO, a lot more thais are victims of this social mindframe about money than us farangs. In a way, if we situate ourselves as best we can in their society, even if living on a low income, our status is worth a nice bank account. No? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 4, 2004 Report Share Posted April 4, 2004 "Those girls in the nana parking lot are just practicing to be stand up comedians." That's great (LMAO)!!! Those girls in the Nana parking lot will tell you anything! It's so tiring to read threads like this. If you can't afford to live there with them or have them come to your country then you have to be a fool to send them money. They almost always go back to get new customers. Case in point, I had more then one BG send me emails from Thailand saying "Tirac, I miss you sooooo much, blah blah blah .... please send money for my Mom.... I am here in SURIN..." If you check the header information in the email you can find out the originating IP address! Then you can track down the exact city from which the email was sent (or a nearby one). She tells me that she is in Surin, and, for a time that's where the IP's came from. But then the source IPs started to come from BKK and then Phuket!!! Then back to the same exact IP from BKK.... (same internet cafe no doubt), you get the picture. So much for taking care of Mom in Surin. BTW, have you ever gotten a BGs email password? I have and everything you think happens does happen. What's also surprising, or not, is that have Thai guys and BFs courting them as well. There are women all over SE Asia and the world who get by on much less then these girls. Sending them money is a load of bollocks. If she isn't willing to move to my country for at least part of the year or me willing to live there then send them ZERO. Things aren't so easy in farangland either these days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rickfarang Posted April 4, 2004 Report Share Posted April 4, 2004 Hoo-ray kawtort! Never put better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.