Is it allright to hit your children?

[Old Hippie]

My adopted parents engaged in what would now be considered child abuse, worthy of jail time. The answer to any problem in my home growing up was a beating, not just a smack, but a beating, black eyes, chipped teeth and a few scars from stitches. I was put in Foster care because of it, and because I ran away because of it. I can even remember them telling teachers and baby sitters it was o.k. to "smack him if he gets out of line..."

 

Beating a kid teaches them it is o.k. to beat others they disagree with, "Might makes right..." and so on. Beating kids seriously fucks them up later in life...

 

Let me ask/add this, suppose you had a wife or GF who just wouldn't listen, would you smack them? is this o.k.? how about coworkers? If it is not acceptable in one case, then it most likely is not acceptable in others...I have serious issues with this topic...

[gummigut]

Sorry to hear that. Tis a crappy situation!

 

"I can even remember them telling teachers and baby sitters it was o.k. to "smack him if he gets out of line...""

 

I taught for a year here in Thailand. I was told exactly this by several parents. I told them directly my role is to teach not to discipline. It is up to their child to follow the rules. If not, I'll inform the parents, but I won't raise my hand.

 

As for the whole discipline thingy... I have to say I do believe in corporeal punishment (spanking). I also believe it should be done during the early years until the child can reason (5 or 6) whereupon responsibility, rewards and punishments can be utilized.

 

<<burp>>

[Nervous_Dog]

It's trying, as a parent NOT too, however, I have never spanked her, yet!

 

Not to say I wouldn;t though but I prefer to try and work it out.

 

My father NEVER spankedd me, but boy was I scared he would!

 

My cousin where threatened with the "Thawacky"

 

Two peices of wood sepereated by a 1/2 inch (2cm) block of wood.

 

We where shit sccared of it. My Uncle would walk towards us, and hit it against his leg, where upon the two bits of wood would hit each other with a loud noice.

 

Years later of course I discovered that was all it did, make noise! But is sure scared us and we stopped being naughty when it was brought out, and never used!

 

DOG

[Old Hippie]

The threat of punishment is maybe more effective, after awhile, you get used to a beating, and learn to take it. Where as, the threat of pain might work more effectively on someone who has no experience taking it...

[limbo]

Gummigut,

 

If my children end up in a Thai school, first thing I tell the teachers; if I ever find out you raised a hand against my child, I'll raise my hand against yours.

 

I do consider it completely not done for teachers to hit children in school.

 

I like your reasoning on different ages of the child.

[Nervous_Dog]

<<The threat of punishment is maybe more effective, after awhile, you get used to a beating, and learn to take it. Where as, the threat of pain might work more effectively on someone who has no experience taking it... >>

 

That explains my attitude to hangovers. At first I was to scared to get them, now I don;t care.

 

DOG

[Old Hippie]

Haven't had a hang over in about a year...felt weird at first...sad is, when I wake up feeling shitty, I have nothing to blame it on...

[AF16]

gummigut said:

 

 

As for the whole discipline thingy... I have to say I do believe in corporeal punishment (spanking). I also believe it should be done during the early years until the child can reason (5 or 6) whereupon responsibility, rewards and punishments can be utilized.

 

<<burp>>

 

All you can think of as a conditioning tool is spanking? And the reasoning is that they can not reson? Damn we come from diffrent worlds.

[gummigut]

Spanking is one of a number of tools.

 

Kids start running around and they don't understand the consequences of their actions.

 

Now we all would like to be stop your 3 or 4 year old when he/she attempts to run into the street, but unfortunately it sometimes happen. If it happen to my child, I'd issue a spanking right there and then. Teach the child that they shouldn't even attempt to enter the road without company.

 

If you have a more reasoned and sound approach I'd like to know. Always like to learn a new trick. I just don't know how else you convey the gravity of running into the road to a 3 or 4 year old because a car does the same damage to a kid in your world as mine.

 

<<burp>>

[JJsushi]

I agree with gummi.

 

Spankings are an excellent form of discipline for young children. I think it should stop once they know how to verbally communicate and can understand right from wrong. A 2 yar old sticking their finger in a socket does not understand that they can be electrocuted nor will they stop if you simply say "no, do not touch", their curiosity and explorative naturewill get the better of them. A quick smack on the hand which causes the unpleasant sensation of pain will immediately communicates to them that they should not stick their finger in a socket. they respect/fear pain more than words. The key with spanking is that they must be administered immediately to mprint upon the child that the deed they did was wrong.

 

After a certain age, frequency or intelligence level spankings are ineffective against children. Verbal communication and psycjology are much more effective tools.

 

Let's also please consider that there is a big difference between spanking a child for disciplinary reasons and beating a child with excessive force.