when do you give up?

[HIGH_THAIED]

Hi FAT_AUSSIE,

 

I agree with some others here....WHAT family unit? You have a wife who is (was) a bargirl who wants to go back to work, and that you have said you just want to be rid of her.

 

The only thing that makes your situation remotely relate to a 'family', is that you have a little girl with her. Sounds like your relationship with wife is over, so only question is what is to become of daugter??? And is the same problem that confronts everyone in separating, who have kids.

 

I've been there also, but I'm lucky to have an ex who spoiles my daughter rotten, and my daughter has the best life she can have. I'm still a huge part of her life, and would change anything....ANYTHING!......to make sure that that is the reality she grows up with.

 

It doesn't sound like you are comfortable with leaving your daughter with a girl wanting to re-enter the trade. So I would hope that you know what you have to do. In the end, we are all just here to pro-create, and further the spieces. How well we do that though, will only be detirmined by the future. And that future will be detirmined by how strongly we are committed to having a presence in our childrens lives, and being committed to give all, to that end.

 

>>>when do you give up?<<<

 

Don't you dare give up! Your small child's future in 'totally' in your hands. It's not the time to give up....it's the time to go to work, dude. It might be over with your wife, but it will never be over with your daughter. Just remember in your thinking, that she, in her whole entire life, will only have 1 father.

 

And you're it.

 

Whether you make that a good thing, or a bad thing, can only be detirmined by your actions. Leaving your daughter to grow up with a Pattaya prostitute, thousands of miles away, may not be the best you can offer her.

 

But it's your call. Just remember that any decision you make now, will affect your daughter's life forever. So for her sake, make it a good one.

 

HT

[FAT_AUSSIE]

Thanks for the feedback guys.

 

I really am over my wife but where I dwell is in the fear of really cutting those last amicable ties we do have to go to war over my daughter. If they were here it would be problem solvered! but they aren't and I don't know the first thing i'm getting myself in for in regards to a foreign custody fight for Emily. My wife had the option to live here, she has been here (Aust) but she hated it and just wanted to be in Thailand with her family, so I gave her what she wanted. Now she's got it. I have been offered work teaching English in the township although my wife told me it would generate insufficient income and I must work in Australia. I am so foreign to this country and it's ways, eg; I hear that there is no actual law in regard to parental kidnapping and in that event the police will not issue an arrest warrant, huh! I have so much to learn before I even begin and so far is seems between you guys and a couple of other websites this is all I have to start with...

 

Thanks guys, oh and sourkraut its Had Ngio...

[Guest]

my 2 bht worth ( or less)

 

 

thai women, when married ( or supported) by a farang ( not all of course) are like ppl with frequent flyer miles

 

they are always looking for an upgrade

[Guest]

It is high time for you to get used to the ways of the country, and that quickly.

I am sorry to say, but i see very litte hope for you to salvage your marriage, and you will have a hard time to get your daughter back unless your wife will give her up freely.

Don't go into things like "parental kidnapping", better get into contact with a reputable law firm. Or, make a financial offer, can save you a lot of trouble.

As to working in Uttaradit - there are several foreign teachers working in schools in the town and surrounding villages. They make about 20K baht a month, enough to live a relatively comfortable life there. Had Ngiu is relatively developed, but if you don't speak Thai, life will be very lonely.

From what i can see, you are there to support the wife with enough money, the child will be growing up with her parents, she'll have fun in wherever she's gonna work. From what you have posted i get the slight impression that your wife wants to keep you as far away as possible. She wouldn't be the only woman in the area having such a life. Think for yourself why that might be so...

As a last attempt to salvage something i would suggest moving to Bangkok together, live/work there. If she won't go into that, you should know by then your position.

If it won't work out - don't go around websites asking for advice, go straight to a reputable lawfirm.

[BelgianBoy]

sourkraut said:

From what you have posted i get the slight impression that your wife wants to keep you as far away as possible. She wouldn't be the only woman in the area having such a life. Think for yourself why that might be so...

Actually, OP inplies he does not know too much about Thailand......

Just tell him you think she might have a Thai husband there, she would not be the first one either.

 

BB

[limbo]

Is OP actaully legally married or just for 'Buddah'?

[FAT_AUSSIE]

just on paper and only inThailand...

[gummigut]

Let your wife go to Pattaya.

 

Go to the village and get your kid. Whose to stop you?

 

Your wife won't have it together to get your kid back (though she may have it together to hire some idiots to try and beat you up).

 

Just ask your self this question. Is your child better off with the mother who is whoring it up in Pattaya? Or with you?

 

Sorry if it seems harsh

 

<<burp>>

[Guest]

gummigut said:

 

Go to the village and get your kid. Whose to stop you?

 

 

 

The family. And the neighbors.

Stunts such as this can turn extremely ugly.

If i remember correctly it was last new year that a farang was killed in a village in Phitsanulok province over some slight drunken offense.

Very bad advice.

[David_66_UK]

Caution - I have no idea what I am talking about!

 

But if it was me I woild think about inviting them both over for Xmas (or something) and then getting the Aussie courts involved for custody - take a bit of pre-planning - no idea what the success rate is likely to be.

 

Or maybe suggest that the daughter stays in Aussie, in exchange for a monthly allowance - and then make sure than the daughter becomes as 100% aussie as possible, so that even if mum changes her mind in the future that she can't do anything as daughter doesn't speak much thai and has an Aussie passport. (and knows enough to say at immigration in Australia "Help I am an Aussie being kidnapped call my dad" and also knows the Aussie Embassy telephone number in Bangkok off by heart..........)

 

If she stays with mum in Thailand from what I have read here I would guess that in 15 years time one of the members of this site will be humping your daughter in Pattaya............. (no offence meant :