when do you give up?

[FAT_AUSSIE]

I've been married for 2 years now, have a little girl emily 50/50 and home in Uttaradit with my wife Tic. She just wont communicate, relays none of the problems we should share and then shoots me down in flames when everything has gone pear shaped. Now she tells me that one of her friends has returned to Pattaya from the UK and opened a bar and wants my wife to go and work there? I'm in Aus and got my hands tied here for now. Question is what do you think? let her go and work then fight her and get my girl(has aussie passport) or plead like a fool for her to stay at home and contine this crap. I for shure would like to be rid of her but I'm thinking of the family unit. ::

[Zaad]

I for shure would like to be rid of her but I'm thinking of the family unit.

 

I can be very short about this since I can relate to what you're saying.

 

Family unit is one thing and one's happiness is another and I'm not talking about being selfish or making selfish decisions.

I mean, you've got to love yourself also and IMHO if you believe that you can't live a happy life being in your current situation then what are you living for? What do you want out of life if you ain't happy?

 

First I'd do everything possible to better the situation for both and you definitely need to compromise in your case. But hey.. communication is the tool and it seems to me that this valuable tool isn't present in your marriage.

 

Tackle the problem and if to no avail then make a decision.

At least you can't say you didn't give it a shot.

 

Just my take.

 

Goodluck and welcome to the board.

[Guest]

That sounds almost hopeless. Judging from your post i would guess that the only chance is that you get your wife and daughter living with you together in Australia.

Uttaradit is a real shithole, surrounding villages increasingly live of earnings of prostitution. Massive HIV infection rates. I know the place rather well.

If you can't get your wife out of there, i think you should start thinking how to get your daughter away from there.

"Pleading" makes no sense - if your wife does not understand that marriage means 'no bar' anymore, if you can't get her out of that cycle, than a continuation is worse for the child than a divorce.

Otherwise chances are that your daughter will be in the same life a few years down the line.

Which village is your wife living in?

[Old Hippie]

It appears to ;ate forthe Mrs. The daughter still has a good shot if you get her out and away now. So I'd say work on that. At the risk of sounding really heartless, all you can save here is the kid and yourself, so do it. Good luck.

[..]

Dude, no offence, but why is she in LoS and you are in Oz? What do you expect? No newly married woman is going to wait on you forever! She expects you to be a family, not an ATM. She is likely bored and lonely and has no idea what to do with herself.

 

I do hope you discussed this before marriage. And maybe she even agreed that you could work in Oz and she wanted to stay in LoS. But what someone thinks they can do and what they can do are two different things.

 

I do not have any answers. Is the marriage worth salvaging? Can you bring her to Oz with you? Can you come to LoS permanently? You would probably have a custody fight for the child if you dissolve the marriage. I see no other way to fix it. Good luck.

 

Regards,

SD

[Torneyboy]

Do they both have Australian pps?

Why is she not with you... ::

I have been married two years to a Thai...many ups and downs..main reason was language..ok now btw.

 

You need to work things out together not over a phone after work...she needs to come here or you get over there and sort it out face to face...

 

Good luck

 

 

Welcome to the board

We need more OZ guys ::

[carlton68]

Hi Aussie,

 

repeating what the others asked already. Why aren't you living together? Understandable if you are away temporarily on serious business or because of medical reasons. Absolutely not understandable if this is permanent. Won't work. well, many times it won't work even if the couple is together.

 

I take it if she thinks going back into business is a good idea there's no playing happy family anymore. Staying in the marriage won't make it any better. I don't suggest to take the kid to Australia without the mothers consent, cause that'll be illegal.

Ask yourself, do you wanna be a single parent. Yes? Then take a lawyer, fight dirty, and good luck.

[SoiledCowboy]

Agree with TB, face to face is the only solution...and do always keep in mind...if you were purchasing a vehicle with hard-earned cash, would you accept crap-talk...of course you wouldn't...yes, of course, Thai women are'nt purchasable...but hold your ground...don't succumb to any s**t first off the bat....you really do know best...start enforcing it:beer:

[pattaya127]

I'm thinking of the family unit.

------------------------------------

as long as you guys live apart, "family unit" seems at the very best, overstated, and at the worse, inexistant.

 

Everyone has been spot on with their comments, if she goes to Pattaya to work in/around a bar, regression, marriage is a goner. You seem not to want to put too much work in the other case, anyay. I think Emily should be your sole concern. Give her the life she deserves, there are tough decisions to make and deal with, but it's worth for the sake of that young child. Good luck.

[Stickman]

I think you nailed it 100%. Couldn?t agree more with what you said.