Non-bar girls looking for love

[khunsanuk]

Hi,

 

 

 

I'm with Beastee on this one. I have noticed that most Thais can tell fairly quickly if a girl is/was a bargirl or not.

 

I have also noticed that the tourists (especially the women) tend to be a lot more judgemental and prejudiced.

 

 

 

Sanuk!

 

 

[Goodthaigirl]

aussiejohn

 

 

 

>GTG,Would you agree with Trotsky2 that thai women seen with farangs are considered whores and are looked down on by the rest of thai society?

 

 

 

Not nescessarily. It depends on many things like other posters have pointed out. Let's try to summarise them and I also will add some points.

 

 

 

1. Age differences. The bigger the gap, the more people assume they are a punter and a bg.

 

 

 

2. The 'look' and 'manner' of the girl. Dressing very provocatively (dyed hair, revealing cloths, you know what i'm talking about, right?), darker skinned, manner: not very refine, holding hand or being VERY close to the farang all the time, etc. These indicate that the girls are more likely a bg, not ALWAYS true, ok?

 

 

 

3.The 'look' and 'manner' of the farang. Wearing shorts, smelly, slightly or heavily drunk, no manners, let's say typical sex tourists in our eyes.

 

 

 

4. The way they interact with each other. Due to the girls' limited English skill they will use a lot of body lauguage ! And when they speak you KNOW it's a bar lanuague !

 

 

 

We, Thais, know fairly quickly who is a bg or not. But we don't show our feelings towards them in public. It's not very nice. If you know what I mean.

 

 

 

GTG

 

 

 

 

[jasmine]

Dear Friend

 

How did another thread become a debate of colonization? Anyhow here is my viewpoint of the looks given to Thai women with Western men.

 

 

 

Thai society attitude towards Thai females with Western Men:

 

 

 

One?s perception of what they see is based on their experience. The experience can be what they hear/read or told. For the past 15 years, I have noticed that the looks that most Thais gave to what they think are Thai women in the company with Western men have been better. For the past 10 years, there is actually big improvement from what I remembered during the Vietnam War years. With the Thai women?s speech, mannerism and the way they dress and the environment they are in may impact the looks quite tremendously. I cannot say yet, that the stereotype that the women with Western men can be women working in bars, is completely gone. However, for me it is forgiving though because not all people has the same attitude and experience. I find that when one thinks I am a possible prostitute, it presents me an opportunity to let him/her know that not all of us who are in the company with Western men come from bars background. This attitude does work at work also, for the good employee an Asian is, it is likely that other Asians will be hired. I knew a woman who is a physician in Germany and has been married for over 25 years also said that looks received in Thailand seemed to be better, she sweetly suggested that perhaps because we are older now and do not look like we can charge for love making anymore!! Aha, so I mentioned that to my husband, his reply was perhaps, $1.00 could still be made, whew! I was worried.

 

 

 

I posted in another thread about my experience in Chiangmai in a Ballroom Dance Club that I was asked to show a VD card. Actually it turned out to be that I did not understand at first what was asked for I just got off the plane and had not been to Thailand for 7 long years, and I was asked for a ?Wee Dee? card!! Jet lag and all the excitement of being in Thailand, I could not understand, ignorance is bliss!! The person was quite polite and by the time it dawned on me I could not help laughing. With my not so perfect Thai, I explained and I received sincere apologies and my husband received shoulders/neck massage for free right there on the table we sat. (Please do not ask ?why him??) The last time we were in Bangkok, we visited temples and took public crowded Bangkok buses and the people seemed to be very nice and some young men even got up in crowded buses and offered me seats.

 

 

 

We must understand and forgive the misunderstanding; it is parts of live and learn. What people think does not change what we ACTUALLY are. It is sometimes disturbing to see how narrow-minded people can be, but it is just a little disturbance not a big deal. I worked in Germany for 4 years, quite young then and the Thai women name was associated with bar women. I faced inquisitive looks but it is those who cared to inquire learned more about Thailand and Thai women.

 

 

 

I do not feel that the girls working in bars are bad or cannot be changed. Through over 30 years in the US, I have met a few poor, uneducated Thai women who came to the States through marriage, with background of working in bars and brothels. Over 75% seem to adapt well and a few have been married over 20 years. Mind you, I am talking about older generation.

 

 

 

Some younger ones I met seem a little restless and it can be they are still adjusting. Will write more.

 

 

 

Cheers!

 

 

[Guest]

Trotsky

 

. I am sorry but I can't agree with most the things you said to be true. I think most middle class office types looking for Farang are doing so because they have the idea that western men treat their women better than Thai men do. As we know sometimes but not always this is the case. As for women being looked down upon or looked at as whores well you do have a point but to a very limited extent. When I am with my wife in Pattaya (never go there anymore) some people give her a hard time (mostly lower class people working in cheap restaurants ect>) but in Bangkok we don't have any problems. As far as her family is concerned they accept me and treat me like a king whenever I am around and it's not from me throwing money around but because they can see I respect my wife and take good care of her and our son unlike their other son in-laws. As far as her friends go some have farang boyfriends and husbands as well and the others are jealous, not running away so they won't be viewed as whores. In fact I have never heard anything so ridiculous. In modern Thailand or at least Bangkok marrying a farang is not a loss of face unless like someone else pointed out it is a yery young girl married to an older man. I know this point has been made on the board in the past but no Thai person would mistake my wife for a BG or an XBG. Why? She doesn't dress like one and doesn't talk like one. As soon as she starts to talk all doubts are removed. As for other farang, well that is a different story. Thai woman with white guy= she is a BG and most of them will never be able to tell the difference.

[cardinalblue]

V. and islander,

 

 

 

I agree with you the vast majority of ex-pats living in BKK are more interested in sanuk than settling down in a relationship.

 

 

 

But the same thing applies to BGs and falangs. There are exceptions so not every guy and every BG is in it just for fun or the money.

 

 

 

I have lived in BKK now two years plus and still looking for that special thai girl to settle down with. Not easy to find compatability and someone who I think could handle the West. Yet, I consider myself a quality and decent guy with high expectations of myself and of the girl. Maybe too high so maybe that's my problem.

 

 

 

No drinking, no smoking, no tatoos, university-educated and after that, it is all about character and chemistry..........

 

 

 

Cardinalblue

[gobbledonk]

CB said :

 

 

 

No drinking, no smoking, no tatoos, university-educated

 

 

 

Wow ! I just realised that I dont know a single (as in 'one') Farang woman, between 16 and 40, who meets all these criteria. Not one ! There MAY have been a nun or two when I was younger, but I'm not sure that they were Uni-educated. Tatts, piercings etc have become so common, as have women smoking and drinking.

 

 

 

Happy to hear from other Aussies who do know someone who meets all four, but its getting harder. Even the Asian girls I met at Uni seem to drink socially, and a lot of the Farang girls I've known manage to flunk all four !

 

 

 

I really have a problem with young girls smoking - its just so depressing. When we were kids, we had a name for the woman who used to stand around in the main street, smoking and talking to guys : 'Mum'.

[carlton68]

Well,

 

 

 

I guess that chinese women are more successfull in the west, for whatever reason.

 

But persionally I don't like them much. I'm generalizing, so don't flame me 'cause I know there are exceptions: I find chinese women are a very snobistic bunch who first calculate your wealth and social ranking before they consider talking to you (if you pass the test).

 

Go to a shopping mall and hang around a bit. Watch the women passing by. You will hardly find a chinese one smiling at you.

 

 

 

Even if you consider Thai girls greedy, a new handphone for the Thai girl is still cheaper than the new Benz for the chinese girl.

 

 

 

Carlton

[Goodthaigirl]

cardinalblue,

 

 

 

>No drinking, no smoking, no tatoos, university-educated

 

 

 

FYI, I meet all four.

 

 

 

I really am a GOOD THAI GIRL....

 

 

 

 

 

 

GTG

[aussiejohn]

Good Thai Girl, good for you and don't ever get a tattoo,they are ugly IMO. I agree with you on your answer to my question and I think too many still believe ,on this board,that every Thai woman is available for a price. I wish that they could stay out of the bar-girl scene for a while and enjoy the real Thailand!!!

[ABCinBK]

Trotsky,

 

 

 

Your analysis is quite precise, but I'm not too sure it's on target.

 

 

 

I will state up front that most Thai middle class women would have good reason to not marry a farang. While Chinese (outside of Thailand) would not neccessarily see it as bad compared to Chinese husband (given the farang has more opportunities and potential wealth), the less flexible mindset and cultural insulation of LOS would make farangs an interesting date but the less likely husband. However, even in Thailand, the Asian love/hate view of a farang husband exists. The positives are wealth and opportunity. The downside is the often correct image of hooker visiting fornicators and the Thai view that Thai is better.

 

 

 

However, how much more wrong or conniving is some Thai girl looking to date you for the nice dinners, movies, and gifts, as compared to Western women? What you've listed is the minimum required to date a woman if you even want to be considered a sexual partner by her. I think a lot of farangs lose site of where there homeland is, and forget that the BG's are paid professionals. Any "normal" woman, Thai or farang, will expect some effort and up front outlay of cash (but not usually in the form of hard currency like the BGs).

 

 

 

The last point is that considering the farang they are dating are often out at some bar screwing hookers while dating the office Thai girl, how much worse is the office Thai girl? They are usually informed enough about the ease of sex in the country to have at the least a strong suspicion of what her farang boyfriend is doing with hookers, but she continues to date him. Any farang woman that had such a strong suspicion wouldn't normally hang around, because as much fun as the sanuk scene is, sanukers are ultimately whoremongers.

 

 

 

I am only trying to point out the other side. So often farang sanukers forget how much tougher things are back in the West.

 

 

 

ABC