Old Hippie Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Cent. I was told similar by my teacher here. She said in certain formal roles it can be tricky of what is appropriate at given times, but returning it was up to you. Hell, there is even a famous picture of the King waing someone. My teacher further added that as farangs no one would really fault us if we got it wrong. That said, I have been waid by people older than myself at varioua times, sometimes it was because they were in a subordinate role, other times I had no idea why they were waing me. When I met SSgs mother, she waid me first, no idea why, as she is a few years (not many)olderthan I. I was once lectured about my use of words, by a woman serving me food at the temple. I said "poom dtungan..." she said "oh, no, that is to formal and hiso, say "Poom Ow..." so who knows...I rely on "farang privilidge" to excuse myself... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wonderlust Posted September 21, 2006 Author Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 "Up to you" sounds like the best advice. I suppose it depends how you see the relationship. If all you want is a service, then you wouldn't wai. If you're looking for friendship, mutual respect and romance (not recommended when it comes to bar girls) you would wai. In the end it's not going to make any difference to how much fun you have or what the bar girl (or whoever) thinks of you so probably not waiing to avoid making a fool of yourself is your best bet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Regarding this topic...I was at a wedding in Sakhon Nakhon a few years back, the brides father came up and introduced himself to me, I shook his hand, the bride said to wai also, so I did...(he is considerably older than me) one of the 3 farangs there, and a self apointed Thailand expert told me I shouldn't wai him because the guy was lower in status than me...she (the bride) Said a wai was appropriate. I figure I'll take my cultural tips from Thais, rather than farangs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 My advice to newbies is always the same: don't wai because you'll definitely not do it right. I still don't wai for the same reason. If i lived there i would try to figure it all out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_numbers Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 I was reading this topic when a Thai girl who is friends with my housemate came into the room asking if I wanted tea. She is a bit on the snob side, extremely well educated, and pretty good on Thai customs and history. So, I asked to firm up my own beliefs, as she seems a good testing ground for this topic about wais. She said, "Its so na gliaaat ngooo farangs wai everyone in town. Like the tuk tuk driver and just any person. They don't understand it and its not proper to just do it.." She reinforces my opinion and advice to newbies to "lay off the wais". Why must you wai?? It does not come off well, and I think unless your confronted with a government official who wais you and you are a farang with not much LOS experience it is better to stick one hand out. Most government officials and well educated Thais would welcome a handshake anyways Wais are a way of establishing social strata, which is ever so important to Thais and the subtelty of them is mind boggling. To just wing it will make you look like a twat, but if your just on holiday maybe it isn't your problem If you work here... and with Thais it is important to know what you are doing. Cheers, theNumbers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 I waied my girlfriends mother when i met her first time and since, my hiso girl said it is polite and respectful...it worked as the feedback after was that i was very polite! I was also advised to wai on saying goodbye. The 'advice' from sticks is not the ummmm best, shall i say... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Central Scrutinizer Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 "She is a bit on the snob side" Says a lot right there don't you think, numbers? Cent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddha Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 A bit of snobbery is evident within this thread. The Borish SNOBS of thai360......hahahaha To wai or not to wai....who cares? I am a genuine person who acknowledges people in all different ways. Who am I to say what anyone should do in any given circumstance? I mean....I try to maintain a respectful bearing on the culture yet sometimes, out of respect to a beloved person, I have thrown caution to the wind and knowingly Wai'd wrongfully. Usually it brings a big smile to the person recieving said wai. If it brings a smile, a genuine one, then i'm not sweating how I look to the snobbish experts at thai360 and the dork who wrote the letter to stickman...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 o.K. SO WE WAI TEaCHERS...NOW...here is one, my Muay Thai teacher, younger than me, lower in social status than me, lower in education etc...technically works for me, as I pay to train with him...yet, he is my teacher...so should I wai or not? Similar interesting note here, a distuinguished board member was on a Thai airways flight, the woman serving the drinks had "M.L." on her name tag noting she had Mana Luang (Phonetics, don't blame me) status...she waid as he left the plane, he was stomped as to whether or not to wai back. To me, I return wais in some, maybe most situations, as I was told it is "ok" to do so, she did also say if in doubt, a slight dip of the head as an acknowledgement was also o.k....I usually don't wai waiters and taxi drivers, but they seldom wai me, so non issue...I look stupid and clueless for a number of reasons in LOS, so waing at the wrong time is of no matter. As I said, I'll take my cues from Thais here. That all said, the issue of snobery...I do recall years back, a serious debate here, when one board member posted that he had repremanded a waitress ("...in perfect Thai...") as to how to give him his change and the proper way to wai him...not sure it is my place as a tourist, and still a fairly ignorant/clueless one, to detwermine myself who is "beneth me in status" while visiting THEIR country. Certainly I hate uppity tourists here...I can expect they would hate the same there... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AF16 Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Even a handshake is complex. You wouldn't shake hands with the CEO of your company. Or the waitress who serves you. Would you shake hands with your dentist? Your plumber? Trying to explain to a Thai when and when not to shake hands is a struggle. Well' date=' the wai is a hundred times more complex. So in an attempt to stop more newbies embarrassing themselves, here are the rules about the wai: [/quote'] Yes, I shake hands with the dentist after each visit. I shake hands with my boss. I shake hands with the plumber. I do not shake hands with the waiter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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