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Appropriate response to a bar girl's


wonderlust

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Actually I was just talking to my wife about this recently. She says there is nothing wrong with wai-ing waitstaff and such. It is a sign of respect and polite. She also says Thais do not look askance at people who wai the waitstaff and others some consider their 'inferiors'. It is 'up to you'. She also said that the people you wai will be happy that you did. As she said, it is a sign of showing respect, of friendliness and jai dee. I know that many experienced farang look down on this as being naive and not done, but my wife says that it is not wrong or foolish to do this. She said that some people don't, but that sometimes this is because they are arrogant or feel superior to the ones wai-ing and don't feel they have to wai 'mere' waitstaff, but it is polite to return a wai given you. Children are an exception, but even there she says this isn't necessarily true. My wife wais anyone who wais her, and she's been Thai her whole life. :) She states it is an 'up to you' thing. Some do and some don't. In my mind I think it can also be a class thing in some cases. Higher class Thais feeling they don't have to return the wai of some lowly staff. But, ask your Thai wives and girlfriends and Thai friends and let's see what they all say. My wife says that returning a wai makes the Thai person wai-ing you happy in their heart.

 

Me? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. I am more likely to wai staff and BG's if I am someplace where I am known from my frequent patronage and friendly with the staff.

 

Next question should be, if you do return a wai, how high should your hands be? And why? :D

 

Cent

 

p.s. And my wife did say that Thais do not see this, a newbie farang returning a staff's wai, as being anything negative or foolish, but they might be surprised that the wai was returned, but they will be happy it was.

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I flat out don't agree with rule number one...

 

For one who lives here and starts to get involved in relationships (family, personal, buisness, etc).

 

There are specific times one should wai or return a wai. You just need to know when and who.....

 

The problem with the above advice is that it portrays all farangs in an ignorant and permanent tourist role never giving them the chance to escape and function in a limited capacity.

 

CB

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Yes, he is technically correct, but I disagree with the not returning the wai given (ALL wais). And I also disagree that newbies 'think it's cool' to wai. The guy comes across as arrogant in some of the post. Most newbies are clueless, but they aren't wai-ing in most cases to 'be cool'. They are wai-ing to be 'polite'. And really, Thais know that most farang don't know how to wai, or why they are wai-ing. Thais learn all the subtleties and nuances of this from the time they can crawl. They don't expect most farang to know the differences and subtleties, but appreciate when you try at least to be polite.

 

I mean really guys, how many of you wai to 'be cool'? Gimme a break.

 

Cent

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What it comes down to is there probably aren't any hard and fast rules about farang waing. Probably most Thais just find it amusing and maybe a genuine attempt to respond to a polite gesture.

 

Personally I've only ever waied one bar girl in my life and that was a woman who I respected for personal reasons. She understood why I did it...anybody watching would probably have thought I was a clueless farang.

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Hi,

 

"The problem with the above advice is that it portrays all farangs in an ignorant and permanent tourist role never giving them the chance to escape and function in a limited capacity."

 

Fully agree. While the guy has some good advice and explanations the tone of the article is seriously nasty.

 

If I go upcountry I wai my wife's older family members, just as all the younger ones wai me.

 

Sanuk!

 

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