all take and no give???

[Guest]

That's what i have...and yes i count my blessings daily....i have been very lucky, but i also know many others and have had way too many offers...i chose wisely and i intend to marry her one day...

 

Don't give up...try places like RCA...sure there are a lot of horrors there who would leech off of you, but if you look around........you can get lucky.

[Stickman]

This is one of those cultural practices that remain from the Thailand of old. In the past, the man paid for everything because he earned everything and the women kept the house. But these days, in some relationships, the woman has her own income, and she doesnâ??t keep the house. In a case like this, she should be contributing *something*.

 

Of course, there are so many variables. If the guy is sitting on a pile of cash and she earns precious little, then the onus is on him to pay for most everything.

 

But I agree with you in principle. If one party feels that the other is not contributing to the relationship in some way, that relationshipâ??s days are most certainly numbered.

 

[ThaiHome]

...But I agree with you in principle. If one party feels that the other is not contributing to the relationship in some way, that relationshipâ??s days are most certainly numbered.

 

So very true, but money is probably way, way down the list of things that should be contributed to a relationship to make it work.

If someone goes into a relationship thinking that he/she is being taken advantage or it give them some sort of power because of unequal economics, the marriage is doomed. This is true of rich people that marry anywhere in the world.

TH

 

[Old Hippie]

I have also seen a few cases, and been involved in 1-2 cases, where a TG will think life in the Farang country will be just like Holidays in LOS with that Farang...others see you spend 2000bht on dinner or what not, and think "he has money to burn" when reality sets in, it can be rough...not really anyone's fault, just a lack of understanding whit is to be once real life kicks in...

[deadman]

in response to wot ZN said about not giving up, i certainly agree that it takes a lot of persistance. of course, it's the perenial question: where to find such girls? this must be one of the most oft asked questions on the forum.

 

as to RCA, i quite like the place, tho i often wonder how anyone meets a girl there, given that it's so loud you can barly communicate. i actually met this current girl via the internet, and dread having to return to fishing there, as it's not something i enjoy doing.

 

i often think one of the best options is to perfect the art of approaching girls in places like shopping malls or BTS/MRT stations and strike up a conversation. though it does take a fair bit of confidence and courage.

 

cheers

dm

[Guest]

A smile always goes a long way...remember a good Thai girl will often be nervous of men, doubly so if you are farang...so, smile, check the response and see if you get a second or third look, with that certain hint of curiosity/interest upon the face...if you get a second or third look with fear or apprehension, then i guess leave it.

 

Being young and handsome helps i'm told, altho' i wouldn't know, as i'm neither!

 

As regards RCA, i know several Uni students who go there, that come from very good families, who don't fuck around, are very well mannered, intelligent and looking for that certain someone...sadly i'm not available But if i was...god damnit i'd be a happy man...again however, these girls are shy and would brush off even the most handsome guy if the approach was wrong...smile, relax, don't touch and be ultra polite/courteous and things might progress, albeit slowly at first..you must be prepared to do the right thing if you wanna get to know them...coming on like an express train scares the bejesus out of these girls. Trust is number one.

 

If you wanna get to know a 'real' Thai lady you have to make the effort and it is long haul only....sure there are those who fuck around, there are many who will jump in the sack at the drop of a hat, but if you are after someone special and amazing, then the amount of time and effort you put in will be rewarded tenfold. I'd point out that this is not NEP or SC...these girls want the real deal and avoid entertaining such a concept if you are only after fun. There's plenty of TGs who will shag a farang, but they are not 'serious' relationship contenders in my book...also remember that a lot of BGs party at RCA....so be careful who you approach. I've been offered allsorts...and i mean offered. I wasn't asking at the times this has happened. It's happened a lot.

[shygye]

...

as to RCA, i quite like the place, tho i often wonder how anyone meets a girl there, given that it's so loud you can barly communicate. i actually met this current girl via the internet, and dread having to return to fishing there, as it's not something i enjoy doing.

 

...

 

Write your number on a slip of paper and get the waiter to give it to the TG. Of course, you do speak Thai.

 

[deadman]

thanks 4 the input, it's all helpful. am fully aware that it takes a lot of spadework to make it with one of these GTG's. often wonder how many of them still believe in remaining a virgin until married, not that i'm thinkng in terms of shagging, i just think it's almost inconceivable for a farang these days to marry a girl and gamble on the sexual compatabilty.

 

i don't know about Sg's MO of writing ones number on a slip of paper (wouldn't yr namecard be better). sounds good in theory, but i would think most girls would find that a bit lame.....only guessing, as i'm no expert.

 

cheers

dm

 

[torrenova]

When I was married to a Japanese lady, I earned far in excess of her, especially in the early days. Each month we would put the same amount into the joint account from which came the mortgage, household bills and other joint stuff. She would sometimes pay when going out and would chuck me some money if we were in the bar but I paid for far more dinners out and covered a lot of the incidental expenditure such as holidays etc. I thought it was fair as she contributed what she could and perhaps more than that.

 

I lived with my ex Thai girlfriend for nearly 2 years. She occasionally paid for something but largely it was down to me. Her demands increased and irrationally so. We eventually split over a matter not unconnected with that problem.

 

My current girlfriend has been with me for around 2 years. When overseas visiting her sister in Europe (to take care of her sister's baby) I sent her a bank card from which she took EUR200-300 over 3 months.

 

Back in Thailand, she has helped me in my bars. She does not get a salary as such but an allowance from me. About 6 months ago I upped the allowance on the understanding that she would contribute towards household spending and then save some money. So far, she has shown remarkable resistance to the typical Thai temptation to just spend everything, though I know it is hard for her to focus on a whole month; perhaps every two weeks would be better.

 

Now we are getting a new truck and I have bought into a new business so cash is thinner on the ground than it was. Almost immediately she offered the majority of her savings as a deposit on the truck which was unexpected. I won't need it but I may take it to show my appreciation.

 

Now she does contribute to the household and will pay for things from her money but of course, a lot of the big ticket items come from my pocket. However, is that any different from my marriage where, due to the imbalance in income, I paid for luxuries and the like ? I think not.

 

As to whether Thai women keep their salary and they both spend the husband's income I don't know. However, Thai women do far more of the giving money to the family so it may be that this is where some of it goes. Many Thai men are also notorious drinkers and gamblers (as are Thai women and perhaps men the world over) so perhaps if the women did not keep some money for a "rainy day" then there would never be any spare cash around.

[sinsin2]

Looks marries money...the world over.