all take and no give???

[limbo]

Well spotted Preahko.

[mainsail]

This is not unique to Thais. I have been in a 2 year relationship with a Chinese woman. This topic comes up frequently. She is really offended if I ever expect her to pay for part of an evening out. She does pay for things by her own choice sometimes, even dinner or whatever, but she does not like it to be expected of her. We do not live together so living expenses are not an issue. I think this is pretty common throughout Asia. I just accept this as a "tarif" for the joys of Asian women. I think it is worth it over a Farang woman who pays half of everything.

[jitagawn]

Plus you are a farang and everyone knows they have limitless cash just by being farang.

 

 

to be fair, there are reasons they assume farangs have limitless cash:

 

1. the fact that you are in thailand. it means that you could afford a plane ticket to come here...an unfathomably huge expense to many thais

2. your behavior while here. do you

 

-eat all your meals for 30 baht on the street?

-live in a 2,500 baht per month apartment?

-ride buses to get where you're going in BKK?

-consider 1,000 baht a HUGE amount to spend

for an entire night out?

 

if you answered no to the above, you are engaging in behavior that, to many thai's eyes, shows that you have unlimited supplies of money...

 

 

There is such a thing as courtesy as in dont bring 6 friends for dinner just bring two

Been here 15 years and its still occasionally annoying no matter how you well one understands it or rationalizes it.

 

 

[Mekong]

Indeed, my TGF is very much into 50/50...so it's possible...keep looking...they exist!!!

 

Zombienation does your Partner fall into the category identified by Jitagawn?

Exceptions do exist however quite rare... and these are more usually found among late 20 early thirty professional women.

 

Before I got married, the type of woman I would date would fall into this category but my requirements also extended to having own car and living independently.

 

When I met the wife it was the same, everything 50/50 even as far as our apartment in Bangkok. Well to city hall and the outside world it looks and is treated like two apartments since it is two units knocked into one, I have the house book for one unit and the wife has the house book for the second.

 

For bills etc we just put equal amounts into a joint account and that is that no need to break it down any further. The Thai Credit Card I carry is not even mine, it is just a second card against the wifes account.

 

As I have mentioned before on this board, what you read on here is not a true reflection of the overall picture of Thai-Farang relationships, people are more likely to make a negative posting on the subject rather than a positive one.

[ChristianTroy]

I think the major reason for that "issue" ( if it really is an issue) is that Thailand is decades behind us in terms of emancipation. 25 Years ago there haven't been many women in good jobs and the man was supposed to earn the money for the food which his wife was supposed to cook.

 

Your girlfriend doesn't even live with you, she has a job, 30k income (high) and 100k savings! I would be nothing but glad to meet a girl under these circumstances. The 100k savings don't come from spending too much and when you start a relationship you set the rules in the first few weeks, if you have been the one who payed the tabs in the first couple of weeks and you would now ask her to chip in a couple of bucks it would make you look like you were pretending in the beginning! At least in their eyes.

 

When you move in with her I would set some new rules if they are important for you, I am an old fashionend guy and I don't expect my girl to pay for the rent/mortgage or anything else in the household. Whenever I lived with a girl we had a little box for household money for food and other stuff which you need to clean the house. She was responsible to stay within the budget and everything that wasn't spent was used for the next month and so on. We shared the cooking and the cleaning but I never wanted money from any of my girls and I never will.

 

Girls tend to these buy cute little assecoires for the house that a man doesn't miss.

 

As long as it doesn't hurt you finacially I wouldn't even bother and if you are getting along just okay and cannot afford to take care the way you are doing it right now you should simply tell her that you expect to chip in because otherwise you would be broke! Honesty has this effect that it brings you straight to the point and saves you a lot of time thinking!

 

 

[Old Hippie]

Plus you are a farang and everyone knows they have limitless cash just by being farang.

 

 

to be fair' date=' there are reasons they assume farangs have limitless cash:

 

1. the fact that you are in thailand. it means that you could afford a plane ticket to come here...an unfathomably huge expense to many thais

2. your behavior while here. do you

 

-eat all your meals for 30 baht on the street?

-live in a 2,500 baht per month apartment?

-ride buses to get where you're going in BKK?

-consider 1,000 baht a HUGE amount to spend

for an entire night out?

 

if you answered no to the above, you are engaging in behavior that, to many thai's eyes, shows that you have unlimited supplies of money...

 

preahko

[/quote']

 

 

I would add that a lot of Farangs foolishly/needlessly throw their money around, as if trying in many cases to impress or show off.

[Guest]

Indeed' date=' my TGF is very much into 50/50...so it's possible...keep looking...they exist!!![/quote']

 

Zombienation does your Partner fall into the category identified by Jitagawn?

Exceptions do exist however quite rare... and these are more usually found among late 20 early thirty professional women.

 

Before I got married, the type of woman I would date would fall into this category but my requirements also extended to having own car and living independently.

 

When I met the wife it was the same, everything 50/50 even as far as our apartment in Bangkok. Well to city hall and the outside world it looks and is treated like two apartments since it is two units knocked into one, I have the house book for one unit and the wife has the house book for the second.

 

For bills etc we just put equal amounts into a joint account and that is that no need to break it down any further. The Thai Credit Card I carry is not even mine, it is just a second card against the wifes account.

 

As I have mentioned before on this board, what you read on here is not a true reflection of the overall picture of Thai-Farang relationships, people are more likely to make a negative posting on the subject rather than a positive one.

 

 

My GF is in her early 20s and a Uni student, but comes from a well off family...it's her that insists i don't pay most of the time, as she's well aware of how TGs are and doesn't want to be like that...i think i'm a very lucky guy.

 

I fully endorse the rest of what you have written.

[Guest]

Plus you are a farang and everyone knows they have limitless cash just by being farang.

 

 

to be fair' date=' there are reasons they assume farangs have limitless cash:

 

1. the fact that you are in thailand. it means that you could afford a plane ticket to come here...an unfathomably huge expense to many thais

2. your behavior while here. do you

 

-eat all your meals for 30 baht on the street?

-live in a 2,500 baht per month apartment?

-ride buses to get where you're going in BKK?

-consider 1,000 baht a HUGE amount to spend

for an entire night out?

 

if you answered no to the above, you are engaging in behavior that, to many thai's eyes, shows that you have unlimited supplies of money...

 

preahko

[/quote']

 

 

I would add that a lot of Farangs foolishly/needlessly throw their money around, as if trying in many cases to impress or show off.

 

Agree completely...it seems rather pathetic to me...and pointless...and even better, can create problems later.

 

[buffalo_bill]

" I would add that a lot of Farangs foolishly/needlessly throw their money around, as if trying in many cases to impress or show off. "

 

Spot on , but don't forget spending is a lot more fun than saving . Money shows it's value only at the moment when it surfaces to settle a bill ; otherwise it is a meaningless number somewhere.

 

BuBi

 

A micro-economical thought

[deadman]

thanks guys, i certainly agree that it's best to set things straight early on in the relationaship.

 

while most TG's expect us as farangs to give give give, i can't believe that there aren't some girls out there, like ZN's, that take some measure of pride in being independent. though i definately think they are very rare. when i look at my criteria for da kinda gurl i wanna meet, independent, good english, attractive and horny, it's a little bit depressing....how lucky does a guy have to be to meet a girl like that???

 

cheers

dm