Raising a child in Thailand

[torrenova]

With a 3 month old daughter I am on that learning curve myself. My jury is still out on how best to discipline a child but I do back communication and putting the time into developing the parent / child relationship.

 

I suspect that we'll muddle through and make adjustments as we go along.assault.

[shygye]

Just don't expect more than what the child is mentally and physically capable of doing. At this point just providing a calm atmosphere and a regular schedule is best.

[loner w/a boner]

This is an age-old question, the disciplining of a child. I use to have these ridiculous ideas that I would some day gently take my child in my arms and explain why some things are wrong. Then my precious child, sitting on my knee, would look up at me and say "Okay daddy." WRONG! Now I've got a 2 1/2 yo, and she's more stubborn than her Thai mother! Gawd, this kid's so good at ignoring me, I thought she was born with a hearing problem.

 

In spite of my best and most patient efforts, she remains quite defiant at times. She knows what she wants. My wife was the first to swat our daughter on the rear. I stopped her at first. Now that some time has passed, I've done it myself a few times. There are things a child HAS to do, and NOT do. I always try to reason with her first, but it usually doesn't work. After I've exhausted explaining things, I'll ask, "Do you want a spanking?". So far, that's worked every time. I find the threat of violence to be highly distasteful, but alas, our natures do NOT seem to respond to reason, pleading, or persuasion. I still believe that some day, when she's older, and can understand reasoning better, she will respond to kind and gentle direction. Naive perhaps. I think her greatest teacher will be watching her parents as role models. My hypocrisy, my inconsistencies may prove to be her greatest stumbling block to making rational decisions.

 

I truly do not like swatting her, but I dare not let her grow up thinking that parents' words are to be utterly ignored. Ironically, her independence encourages me. What would the world be like; filled with obedient sheep and no defiant freedom lovers?

 

 

[PP]

Good post loner.

 

If it's a matter of safety (told not to touch electric sockets but still does) or just plain bad manners (hittng Mummy or throwing things at Daddy) then a single slap on the bum usually gets the message across.

 

I usuallly have a go at my wife though for threatening our daughter 'cos I don't believe she should do things through fear but rather through understanding.

 

I know not always possible with a 3 year old.

[FAT_AUSSIE]

Zaad, loneboner, Good posts.

 

My Thai wife sometimes gives my daughter a good ass smacking. I rarely do it, allthough with an open hand across the ass now and then for good reason I find acceptable. Usually the smack does'nt hurt but it wakes her up and makes her realise i'm serious. My daughter like many is defiant as hell and as said prevoisly all the calm talk and reasoning will get you nowhere. My wife on he other hand is more liberal in both how often she does it and how much she will take before she blows her lid then goes to town. The thing I watch for in my wife is wether she does it to vent her frustration or to discipline my daughter and there is a big difference.

 

My daughter is three and a half and we are becoming more successful with coaxing and guilt trips, levering etc.

 

BTW, took my daughter for her first swimming lesson today, had a great time and FYI every other child in the class was accompanied by thier father in the lessons!

FA...

[CTO]

I like to spank the wife sometimes, oops, wrong thread, thought this a SD thread?

[Zaad]

Fat Aussie,

The thing I watch for in my wife is wether she does it to vent her frustration or to discipline my daughter and there is a big difference.

 

Very good point.

 

I hate to admit it but a couple of times I was guilty of this myself in the earlier stages of fatherhood. And I just hated myself for doing so which is why I put a stop to it. Well, let's say I've got a grip on things now.

It's as much a learning process for the kids as it is for the parents.

[limbo]

Fat Aussie,

The thing I watch for in my wife is wether she does it to vent her frustration or to discipline my daughter and there is a big difference.

 

Very good point.

 

I hate to admit it but a couple of times I was guilty of this myself in the earlier stages of fatherhood. And I just hated myself for doing so which is why I put a stop to it. Well, let's say I've got a grip on things now.

[color:red]It's as much a learning process for the kids as it is for the parents[/color].

 

Ain't it just! Good point Zaad.

 

[New Petchburi Pete]

Send me your wife's phone number!

[bkkman]

Hitting a kid is almost always the lazy way to discipline a child. A strong, loud, stern NO is enough for any child to understand your disapproval. And kids want parental approval because it is the same a love to them. Often the big NO will have to be repeated with a finger pointing [and/or your voice raised a few decibels] for additional body language.

 

JMHO