Coss Posted April 4, 2008 Report Share Posted April 4, 2008 I'm not sure where I'm heading with this but, it's something to do with the two lives I have. One holding down a reasonably good job, looking after (remitted) cancerous wife and raising kids, feeding dogs and mowing lawns etc. The other, is a two week or so period, I can get once or twice a year when LOS entertains me, and as a monger I drink, smoke, and root as much as I am able, often to the point of insensibility. The first I do because that is what I am expected to do. The second is because the first has not provided me with love or sex for about 14 years. I am loth to discontinue the family and job etc as it is how I make the money to entertain myself once in LOS. This to say nothing of the rights and wrongs of looking after family who are ungrateful to me the buffalo. And yet I find the GFE in LOS so compelling that I am continuously miserable to be away from may latest 1 week renta-wife. This should be an indication of a lack of moral fiber or an emotional instability on my part. But I think it is a situation that many find themselves in. When I was a boy, I thought that James Bond had it all, especially women throwing themselves at him. Now I am older, I monger in isolation from the family, they often don't know what country I am in, it a secret for me and a few board members. Much like James Bond, only no killing, and only a few car chases. This does of course involve lying, and as a basically honest fellow, this hurts. But in order for LOS to be my second life it has to be. The transition from one to the other is extremely easy when going to LOS and supremely hard when returning to normal life. I know it's called the Bangkok Blues. And I also know that you never go to LOS twice, either once only or many times. I guess the point of this rave is to try and settle in my mind, that my long term aim should be to spend more time in LOS and that this will take resources. Thereto I have to improve life number one to improve life number two. It'd be different if my real wife loved me, or my renta-wives really loved me. But I guess the many parts to make me whole, will have to be spread, between LOS and home. Cheers Coss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vintage_Kwai Posted April 4, 2008 Report Share Posted April 4, 2008 Don't get your underwear all twisted in a knot. You still have those two weeks to look forward to, and aren't you still providing for the family? I'd say you have moral fibre, not lack of it. You deserve those two weeks.Now stop moaning and start saving again for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dumsoda Posted April 4, 2008 Report Share Posted April 4, 2008 Mate.... My words would have no meaning if I were to respond right now... But, believe me...I can feel your "pain"... ...No two situations are ever the same...but some things in life run "familiar" paths... Hope we get to share a "botten"....Soon Hang in and take care, my friend Cheers DC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topcatta Posted April 4, 2008 Report Share Posted April 4, 2008 What else r u supposed to do when u dont get sex or love for so many years, accept your 'destiny'?! Go for it! Guiltfeelings? Dont help solve any probs anyway... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanddawg1 Posted April 4, 2008 Report Share Posted April 4, 2008 Coss Speaking from the experience of a horrible 13 year marrige of which only 2 years were half-ass bearable. I waisted all those years with some bullshit code of obligation to family; well could not stand it anymore and left her. Guess what the kids don't hate me they finished growing up just fine seeing me part time. Never forget that providing for the kids is half the woman's responsibility not solely the man's. If your relationship with your wife is that bad the kids already know and you are not saving them!!! All my kids are grown now and everything is fine; I'm still single visit LOS when ever I can without a single bit of guilt. Every situation is different but if you are looking for advice; dump your wife, take care of your kids and live your life the way YOU want. You could get hit by a bus tomorrow!!! Just MHO Cheers S1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
torrenova Posted April 4, 2008 Report Share Posted April 4, 2008 I think guys giving advice fall into two camps. There are those who say stay together and make the best of it, perhaps having a bit on the side or just forgetting about love, sex etc. The other guys say that there is nothing to be gained by sticking with it and to jack it in and make the best you can out of a bad situation. Both of these arguments are made with kids in the relationship as without kids, its a no brainer, you split up. As the father of a baby daughter, I find myself unable to agree with either argument. I think you need to think harder about it. Where you live for example is one thing. If you were to separate and live in close proximity in the same country then the answer may be differet to a situation where you might live apart in different areas or countries. Normally I'd advise on the balance of good versus bad. If there is more good to be obtained by separation then separate or vice versa. If you are older and pension day is in the not to far distance then sticking it out may be better. If you can live with a couple of short trips a year then fine but if it is screwing up the other 46 weeks a year then no, you have to do something about it. Overall, there is no right answer. There is usually a socially right answer and a personal right answer. Not often are they the same answer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coss Posted April 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 5, 2008 But, believe me...I can feel your "pain"... ...No two situations are ever the same...but some things in life run "familiar" paths... Yes, we two, peas in a pod, well not quite, peas in similar pods perhaps. Cheers Coss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted April 5, 2008 Report Share Posted April 5, 2008 You really don't want to know what "two peas in a pod" is San Francisco slang for...That said, welcome to the Si Saket Highway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YimSiam Posted April 5, 2008 Report Share Posted April 5, 2008 Interesting thoughts, coss. While I'm not married, for years I've maintained this same kind of double life, keeping a whole parallel secret world going in Thailand. Maybe others do this as well, but years ago I started using a fake name when out in the scene - as my alternate identity developed over the years, I've started to suspect that one of these days I'll probably split into two separate personalities, Jekyl and Hyde, and spend the rest of my days in some mental asylum(or in Pattaya, same same). It would be great to be able to reconcile the two somehow, live an honest life, etc, but... have no desire to come out publicly as a filthy monger, and no inclination to quit the scene, so... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zzzz Posted April 5, 2008 Report Share Posted April 5, 2008 God will love you more if you donate your mongering time and money to charity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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