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What Film (Movie) Have You Just Watched?


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Suicide Squad (2016) - Uneven. Quite good in parts, notable for Margot Robbie's portrayal of Harley Quinn, Will Smith does his best. Worth a watch.


Oh and they've all got super powers, the world is gonna end and the course of the movie is generally decided by hand to hand fighting and shooting conventional guns. The super powers do get used, but mainly its shoot bang fire and they've got swords too so, slice.

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The Shallows (2016) - Blake Lively in a bikini, in a battle of wits with a Great White Shark. Surfing.


Where to start?


She gets taken to a secret beach her mother told her about, that she doesn't know the name of, nor will anyone tell her the name, but a chap happens to deliver her to, all the while not telling her the name or where it is. It has cell phone coverage, it's in Mexico.


The surf at this place only comes in a break in the dialogue, or action, the rest of the time it's dead calm. Unlike the rest of the world where surf is composed of a regular series of waves.


Also we are told, that unlike the rest of the world, this place has only one tide a day. This is so Blake can spend the best part of 24 hours on a rock, sheltering from the Shark.


This tide by the way, doesn't ebb and flow gradually, it's mainly out and apparently only covers the rock sometime in the 10 minutes preceding high tide, the rest of the time it nearly covers the rock, is 2 metres below the rock, 1 metre below, randomly through the day and night depending on no set pattern.


So back to the action. After surfing the afternoon away, Blake's 2 companions swim ashore and fix to leave in their Jeep. At this point Blake notices a large dead Humpback whale floating nearby. About 20 metres away., She tries to leave by catching a wave and surfing towards the shore. She falls off some 100 metres away and is attacked by the Shark. The wrests herself free and surface a few metres from the whale that she surfed far away from. She swims to and climbs onto the whale. At some point she escapes the whale and makes it to the rock.


Blake does surgery on her leg with earrings and jewellery.


We know the shark is very big because it attacks the whale for a feed and lifts the whale nearly clear of the water. Big shark this, possibly twice as big as a Great White.


Blake sees her surf board halfway between the rock and the shore and considers making a break for it. Conveniently the surfboard has been trained to stay in one spot for an hour or so.


There is a buoy nearby.


She sees a drunk Mexican on the beach who steals her stuff and when attempting to swim and steal her surfboard (now lurking close to the shore, well trained this board) gets bisected by the shark and crawls his upper half back onto the beach.


The two surfers from yesterday come back come back, they attempt to get to her, one is killed then the other. The gopro and helmet that one is wearing eventually is retrieved by Blake and she records a message that eventually a boy picks up on the shore and summons help in the form of the guy who brought her to the beach in the first place, who hauls her out of the water.


But before this, Blake gets to the buoy, finds a flare gun, fails to attract the attention of a passing ship, somehow sets the shark on fire, manages to lure the shark into swimming headlong into the tangled steel of the buoy's anchoring tackle, where it is killed by impaling it self.


Did you know that buoys cannot float upright if it's anchoring chains are detached?


Blake is a good looking girl, she has a great body, she spends the movie in a bikini and sometimes a wetsuit jacket. Its a small bikini, despite her top being quite skimpy and her being very cold at times there is not a hint of a nipple in the whole movie, except where her mother appears in a vision, then there's a hint on the mother.


All in all, movie I watched in disbelief, I could not summon any suspension.


But, well made and visually appealing. Watch if your in the depths of winter or depression.

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Victor Frankenstein (2015) - More depth of the human characters than is usual in this well known story, also some quite good monstering, Daniel Radcliffe, James McAvoy, Jessica Brown Findlay. Andrew Scott plays Inspector Turpin and a creepier god botherer I've not seen for some time. Good movie, worth a watch.

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Zardoz (1974) - Sean Connery, Charlotte Rampling, from IMDB - "In the distant future, a savage trained only to kill finds a way into the community of bored immortals that alone preserves humanity's achievements."


I suppose this was some 40 years ago, it shows. What special effects they have, are not very special, what acting there is, tends to be of the, looking at something for a second or two, then running somewhere like arts students tend to do.


That being said, the story is good-ish.


I will now degenerate this review into a discussion of breasts. There are lots of breasts on view. This was obviously before breast implants became de rigueur. The ruling class, including Charlotte Rampling, seem to be smallish int this department, the apathetic class all looked to have bigger ones.


To redress my sexism, let me say that apart from a few Brutes, as they are called, Sean Connery, has the only hairy chest in this movie, all the other boys were wimpy looking fellows with only about 3 chest hairs between them that they probably shared on a weekly basis.


If Charlotte Rampling smiled a bit more, she'd be lovely.

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