To Marry or not to Marry?

[doris day]

I just got a phone call from my ex-girlfriend. She's on a tourist visa in England with her boyfriend meeting his family and they are engaged. We still talk from time to time and she is a 'good' thai girl, or at least as good as Thai girls get? (no she's not a bargirl).

 

When I went to Thailand last January (see my trip report "From Bali to Jakarta to Bangkok") I spent four days with her and I felt stronger feelings for her than I ever had before. I've known her for four years and we've spent some time living together (in Thailand when I lived there) and we've spent time just being friends as I've been in and out of Thailand and the both of us have been in and out of relationships.

 

When I first met her my thai was non-existent (it's still pretty non-existent actually .....) but her English has improved drastically so every time I've seen her we've gotten a better understanding of each other and I've also changed from being a huge butterfly loyal to no-one to someone who is sick of banging as many girls as possible. I'm looking for a connection that is deeper than that.

 

Trouble is, I don't have much faith in relationships let alone marriage. However, I have this desire inside me that I think I've always had but I'm not willing to suppress it anymore. Knowing she's getting married has hit home for me that I could've had her and she's the closest thing to a girl that I trust and could see a future with in many years. I just can't make up my mind whether i dodged a bullet or if i missed the best opportunity of my life, one that would've calmed the raging sea inside.

 

So, to all those who are/have been married...do you think it's better to be single or to take the plunge and stick with one woman?

[SiLeakHunt]

There is one poignant question that remains as yet unanswered !

[SurinBum]

Farang tink to mutt....

[sanddawg1]

Why marry? If you want to live with someone live with them and be happy! It also gives you the option to walk without a sticky divorce (if things go bad).

[CTO]

Why does marriage = single woman?

[shygye]

Where's the All of the Above option?

[SpiceMan]

I have never married so I shouldn't have voted. But I wanted to see the results so I voted "Depends on the girl". That is what I'm hoping for when I do get married next year.

[cavanami]

80%, depends on who you marry, for sure, IMO.

[jonjon058]

Knowing she's getting married has hit home for me that I could've had her and she's the closest thing to a girl that I trust and could see a future with in many years.

 

Realize what you are feeling now is a natural reaction. Wanting something much more after you can no longer have it is something we all experience. It is why the salesmen tells you about the couple that were in earlier looking at the item you are interested in. We place higher value on things that we perceive to be scarce and sought by others. Back when your judgment wasn't being clouded by current emotions to her being taken off the market you didn't think she was someone you wanted to marry. So you probably made the correct choice.

[Mekong]

Why marry? If you want to live with someone live with them and be happy! It also gives you the option to walk without a sticky divorce (if things go bad).

 

SD1,

 

You are looking at this from the perceptive of your country of birth rather than from a Thai perspective. My divorce from ex-thai wife cost me 500 Baht the fees at city hall to register divorce and issue divorce certificates (admittedly it took me nearly 3 years to get the apartment back).

 

In Thailand if you are under 50 and are not here on a work permit marriage is a good route to get a 12 month non-imm O visa, in fact my current wife and I only registered the marriage at city hall 2 years after the fact since my contract in Thailand was not renewed and my Non-imm B was cancelled.

 

Another advantage of a Non-Imm O is that it also allows one to apply for a Work Permit without needed to meet requirements of a business visa as long as the company employing you has the required amount of Thai employees and the paid up capital. Thai employees are avaialable "on paper" via good accountants and if you own your property and / or vehicle they can be declared as corporate assets (with cars annual road fund licence doubles if in company name. For me to operate the business "on paper"have staff, pay Thai employees Social Security contributions, pay my own tax, pay the accountants fees etc is less than US$ 2.000 / year.

 

Not much work in SE Asia during the current ecconomic meltdown hence the reason I am back in Middle East again, but I still get odds and sods I can do remotely, if things work out the company will be my primary cource of income in future years but I also consider it as an investment come the day that I apply for PR, I would like to think that a foreign business owner who has paid his (minimal) taxes and SS payments for employees for 10 years would get a few more credit points towards the application.

 

For the Record I voted "Depends on Who" and I am fortunate enough to have met, and also be tolerated by, someone who I consider as my closest friend first business partner second and wife third.